


Two Demons, A Fallen angel, A Soulless, And Her.

by Goober826



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Blood, Cas doesnt notice that Dean isnt kidding, Cas is dying cause Dean just wont chill, Crowley is a goddamn flirt, Dean being unable to control emotions, Dean hates dogs also, Dean is a cat, Dean wont stop flirting with Cas, Demon Dean, Demon!Dean, F/F, Gabe Being an Asshole, Gabe trying to make up for past mistakes, Gen, Gore, M/M, Mary is done with everyones shit, Sam being guilty, Sam being shamed and bashed on, Slow Burn, Soulless Sam, Soulless!Sam, Updating tags, also lots of angst, also they use holy water in a squirt bottle like Dean is a cat, and as always has a crush on Dean that he likes to make obvious, btw dean isnt a legit cat but he acts like one cause hes a silly demon, dean being violent, im new to this fandom dont hurt me, shitpost, theres also a lot of gay flashbacks, theres legit a case where people get their testicals bit off this fanfic is a mess, well i mean that was obvious but i felt I should mention it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2018-11-30 18:37:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 60,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11469354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goober826/pseuds/Goober826
Summary: After what was supposed to be a normal hunt, Sam and Dean Winchester are killed. Crowley and Castiel bring them back to life, but with a problem. Mary, Cas, and Crowley now must learn how to deal with Sam being soulless and Dean being a demon until they can fix it. When an unfortunate confrontation between Sam and Dean occurs, Dean is severely damaged and Gabriel is forced to come to the rescue. Can Dean control his demonic instincts? Is he even really what he thinks he is?





	1. Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> HEY IM NOT DEAD! I've been watching this goddamn show. So obviously, that means fanficton! This chapter is slow but I swear the next one is better. Also, I drew cover art!

 

“Sammy, S-Sammy…. D...don't….” 

The tall, bloody figure of Sam was cradled in Dean's arms as he held him close, his own arms trembling as his strength ebbed away from his body. He could feel himself draining, dying…. Sam wasn't breathing or moving… The slash across his throat was too big. The knife in Dean's chest was practically sliding out by the amount of blood escaping the painful wound. Everything was fading. This wasn't supposed to happen…It was just a normal hunt...It was just a few demons...How did this happen…? 

 

And then everything went black. 

 

“I have to save them both! I don't trust you at all, Crowley!” Castiel shouted at the slightly troubled man in front of him, who was sipping at a bottle of expensive vodka. The man smacked his lips and shrugged, sighing. 

“Look, Wings, Squirrel and I are practically besties. I get he's your boytoy and all, but I know how to save him. Knowing you, you won't be able to save either without accidentally leaving their soul.” Crowley replied calmly, setting his drink onto a counter. “Sam has experience with being soulless, and once we save him, you get to rest for a while, then go back for the soul. It's simple, really.” 

“But Dean-” 

“Dean will be FINE, Castiel.” Crowley interrupted the angel swiftly, rolling his eyes. “I can't save Sam the same way, so this fits perfectly. You get Moose, I get Squirrel.” 

“And how do I know I can trust you?” Growled Cas, stepping forward slowly as he narrowed his eyes. Crowley let out a chuckle. 

“You don't; I'm the King Of Hell, obviously, but I'm your best damn shot at getting them back, aren't I? Hell, I'm not even asking for anything!” He cooed, grabbing his drink again and sipping from it. Cas sighed and hesitated, but eventually nodded. 

“Fine.” He grumbled, before walking away to retrieve Sam's soul. Thank god it wasn't in hell this time, at least… 

  
  
  


Their two bodies lay on the floor of the library in the bunker, no longer bloody. Castiel couldn't handle looking at them so bloody and broken…he had changed their stained shirts for them. It was a bit uncomfortable, and he felt lucky that both their wounds were on their upper bodies. 

 

Sam was the first to wake up. He awoke with a start, taking in a deep breath after being deprived of air during his time of dying. He glanced around and saw Dean, then slowly looked to Cas. 

“I died…” He rasped, blinking curiously at the Angel. Cas nodded, sighing. 

“We have fixed you for the most part. It will be a few weeks until we can get you completely put together.” He said quickly, having rehearsed it to himself a few times. 

“Completely put togeth…. What? Cas, what's going on-?” 

Before Sam could finish his question, next to him, Dean sat up. His eyes were still shut, as he rubbed them drowsily. His hands lowered from his face, and his eyes flickered open. Cas drew in a sharp breath when the green mischievous eyes didn't stare back at him, but instead they were fully black. 

“Hello, boys.” Crowley's deep voice rasped from behind Cas. He spun around to face the man, and pointed at Dean. 

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?” He spat, anger as strong as a human's pulsing through him. Crowley shrugged. 

“He's alive now, isn't he? This is temporary, don't worry. Once Moose is back in shape, he can fix our boy.” He cooed, smirking. Dean looked around the room, and Sam was patting at his pockets as he stared at Dean. 

“Where are my weapons?” He said in a hollow voice. “I need to kill this demon.” 

“Sam! That's Dean!” Castiel yelled, narrowing his eyes. 

“....Yeah, and a demon. We kill demons.” Sam replied calmly. 

“Oh, c'mon, Sammy! I'm still your bro!” Laughed Dean, finally snapping out of his confusion as to what's happening. He wrapped his arms around his brothers shoulders, smirking. “Last time I was like this, you rushed to save me! Where's your empathy, lil bro?” 

“He's soulless.” Castiel replied. “I will be able to get the soul back within a few weeks.” 

“Uh- I don't want it back.” Replied Sam, shrugging. “Last time I got my soul back, I nearly died from insanity.” 

“Yeah, but your soul isn't in hell this time, you won't have any pain from getting it back except for the process of it.” Cas explained carefully. 

“Cmon, Moose! At least you're not Dean right now!” Crowley laughed, stepping forward. “You both will have your guilt sprees and such once you heal, but you only kill when you feel it's necessary! Deans gonna be killing for fun!” 

“No, he won't. I'm going to make sure of it.” Castiel growled, eyeing Crowley. 

“Damn, Cas. Have I ever told you that you're cute when you're protective?” Cooed Dean smugly, batting his eyes until they went back to their normal green color. Cas felt his face flush red, but he didn’t respond. “Anyways, I want a drink. Who wants to come with?” 

“Sure.” Sam replied, shrugging and standing up. He stretched out his long limbs, and Dean stood up with no problem, despite being still and dead for a good 24 hours. 

“Oh, goodie! Just like old times, but with a hollow moose and a fallen angel!” Crowley cheered excitedly, smiling at Dean with admiration. Cas could feel jealousy burning in him as Dean smiled back. He knew it wasn't the real Dean, but he also knew what Crowley and Dean were when Dean was first a demon. He huffed, and followed behind the two demons and the soulless human. 

 

By the time 2 AM rolled around, Dean was already drunkenly grabbing at a stripper and Sam was in a room with a guy he had met. It was interesting to Cas, remembering the fact that Sam's bisexuality was very lenient towards girls, but rarely he stepped out of the metaphorical closet to give a male a chance. Thinking about this was more comforting to him than thinking about Dean flirting with a girl with fabric frosting on her breasts. 

Crowley was staring at Dean, and it took a while for Cas to finally notice. Crowley seemed to realize the Angels eyes burning into his suit. 

“Ah, jealous, are we? Worried about a certain king stealing your boyfriend away?” He cooed. Cas huffed. 

“No, Dean has higher standards.” He stated sternly, frowning. 

“You are cute, I'll give you that, but do you REALLY think you're more FUN?” Crowley purred. Cas sighed and rolled his eyes, and Crowley kept speaking. “Maybe you can take a break from Squirrel and give Moose a test drive? He used to have a crush on you before everyone but the squirrel saw how in love you two are, you know.” 

“That's highly unlikely.” Cas replied, looking at the old wooden counter his still full drink was on. He attempted to ignore Crowley’s ridiculous words about how Dean could like him back, especially after everything that’s happened between them.

“It's true! He used to always look at you with those puppy dog eyes, and once when I was checking in on em, I heard Sam nervously suggesting ship names of the two of you!” Crowley laughed. “Stupid ones such as ‘Samstiel’.” 

“That's idiotic. Sam knows Dean and I share a more profound bond.” Castiel growled, attempting to not add ‘even if Dean doesn’t see it’.  

“I don't even think Dean himself remembers he's into anyone.” Crowley responded, gesturing to the drunken man, who was slurring lyrics to a classic rock song on the radio at the stripper currently performing. The Angel sighed, and shrugged. 

“That isn't Dean.” He said flatly, frowning. Crowley shook his head. 

“Oh it's him alright- same body, same mind, same co-” 

“That's enough.” Cas interrupted. 

Soon enough, Sam arrived from one of the rooms, buckling his pants and walking over to the bar table. He took a seat next to Cas. 

“Alright, I'm ready to leave.” He said casually. As if on cue, Deans familiar grasp landed onto Castiel's shoulder. 

“Sup, Angel? Oh- Sammy, you're back from some gay shit. Didya’ top or bottom?” 

“Dean, that's gros-” 

“Uh, topped? Why?” Sam responded before Cas could finish. Dean laughed and patted Sam's back. 

“That's my boy!” He cheered. He turned to Cas, and rested his head onto the man's shoulder. “You're grumpy, aren't you?” 

“You're still a flirty drunk, even as a demon.” Cas responded coldly. 

“Awe, is my little angel scared of his demon boyfriend? Is he scared of me biting his throat out?” Dean cooed, the strong scent of alcohol on his breath. Cas did not like when Dean jokingly flirted with him, but he felt his cheeks heat up. 

“Not scared, more or less disturbed.” Cas huffed. “Can we leave now?” 

 

Once Cas came back to the bunker with the two drunk Winchester brothers, he was startled to see Mary in the library, reading a book and waiting. Her eyes fell onto him supporting Dean on his shoulder, and she shut her book.    
"Hello, Castiel, Dean, Sam." She greeted in a rather suspicious tone, her eyes trailing across the three of them. "Why did I come home to find blood on the floor?"    
Cas was slightly taken aback, not expecting that question. He had hoped Mary wouldn't get a hint about what happened to her two sons while she was out for the day.    
"Uh- well you see-" he started.    
"We died." Sam interrupted carelessly, walking off to the kitchen.    
"YOU WHAT!?" Mary stood up, and Sam instantly walked back to where he was, apparently still scared of his mother even without his soul. Dean bursted out laughing.    
"Yup! Cas here, and Crowley, brought us back! But now I'm a Demon and Sammy is missing his soul." He explained with amusement, smiling more as horror fell onto Mary's face.    
"This- this isn't bad as it looks, I promise," Cas quickly said, very unfamiliar with having to be the one to explain and calm someone down. "I have retrieved Sam back from the dead, but not all the way. Once I have recovered, I can retrieve his soul and put it back in him. Deans state is also... Temporary."    
"Oh my god..." Mary breathed. She looked at the floor, then back to her two sons. Her eyes fell onto Dean.    
"I can understand Sam, but I don't want him walking around unsupervised." She growled, pointing at the shorter of her sons. Dean smirked and laughed.    
"Damn, looks like Cas is gonna be my babysitter now!" He chuckled, smirking. "Maybe for once I won't be the parent figure like I was forced to be after you left us and died."    
Mary didn't respond to Dean, but looked to Castiel.    
"I want you to tell me everything that happened. Sam, watch your brother."    
  
"So, you're saying my boys died again... And this was the only way to bring them back? How did this even happen!? It was a normal hunting trip..."    
Cas stared at Mary with grief, frowning and nodding.    
"I didn't want them to come back like this, trust me I didn't... But that's how it has to be for just a few weeks."    
Mary opened her mouth to reply, but stopped when Dean screamed from the other room.    
"THAT SHIT HURTS FUCKER- AGH- STOP THAT- SAM I'M GOING TO BITE YOUR INTESTINES OUT- SHIT- FUCKING STOP-"    
Mary bolted out of the room, followed by a nervous Castiel, and the sight in front of them was abnormal.    
Sam was slightly laughing, holding a squirt bottle and spraying Dean. Deans face and head was sizzling and smoking, and it was obvious that the liquid within the bottle was holy water.    
"Look, he's a like cat!" Sam laughed.    
All Mary could do was sigh. 

This would be a long, long few weeks.    



	2. The...Testical Monster...?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before Dean could say anything else, Cas swiftly grabbed the squirt bottle from the table he was sitting at, squirting Dean in the face. Dean hissed and flinched away, subtle steam rolling off of the surface of his skin. Sam was a pain in the ass now a days, but his brilliant idea of holy water in a squirt bottle was very useful.   
> “Bad, Dean.” Cas snapped. Dean panted and looked at him with pitch black eyes.   
> “You mother fucker!” He spat, charging at the angel. Cas started rapidly shooting water at Dean, who yelped and flinched back.   
> “OKAYOKAYOKAYOKAY-!” He shouted, submitting finally. Cas panted and nodded.   
> “Do not try that again, Dean. I’m not afraid to hurt you.” He growled, using his old angel-in-command voice. Whatever she was dealing with, Castiel hoped Mary was having an easier time working with Sam.
> 
> “One more time, Sam. What isn’t okay?”   
> “Laughing at a victim because they got their testicals bitten off.” 
> 
> \-------------------------------------- 
> 
> Mary goes on a hunt with Sammy. Dean grossly flirts with Cas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear there's a plot to this fanfiction somewhere, it's just drowned in stupid jokes.

Life with Soulless Sam is tough. He's unpredictable, violent, and careless. Try to talk about feelings with him, he's indifferent. Try to explain how insults can hurt people, he doesn't understand. Try to tell him 'no, we can't kill that person just because the monster is using them as a shield, that's not okay', he is confused. Don't get him wrong, he DOES try his best! He just can't understand empathy like normal humans. He can't understand why having blood on your hands is a bad thing. 

Life with Demon Dean is...well... hell. What is to expect when he comes back as a demon? He lies, cheats, steals, brawls, and argues just for the amusement of it. He'll steal Sam's books just to see his face when he can't find them. He'll openly lie to Mary because he knows she can tell, and he enjoys seeing betrayal flicker in her eyes. He'll cheat at any poker game with Crowley, because it's always amusing to trick the king of Hell. And as much as Cas hates it, he'll surprise attack him at random moments. Sure, Cas felt lucky that Dean never tried to badly harm him, but it was annoying to be carrying two coffees to sit down with Mary and study a case when suddenly- boom! A black-eyed way-too-handsome man jumps from out of nowhere and spills hot liquids all over you. Demon Dean is sadistic, selfish, and almost always smiling in the most forceful yet charming way. 

The two of them together? They were a nightmare that Mary and Cas could never expect. 

Mary loaded up her gun and shoved two extra clips of ammo into her pockets, looking to Castiel.   
"Alright, let's go deal with this case." She said, slipping her fake FBI badge into her jacket.   
"Oh, hold on lemme change." Sam perked up from behind his book, now getting up.   
"No, I can't trust you on a hunt." Mary interrupted before Sam could walk any farther to his room. He turned to her, wildly confused.   
"Okay- I get it. I don't have a soul...but I'm still me! I'm still Sam, I just lack fear and empathy. That's not so bad!" He protested.   
"I hear family angst, who's leaving me out?" Dean walked into the library, a shit-eating grin on his face.  
“I thought you said he was sleeping!” Mary hissed at Sam, who held his hands up in defense.   
“He was!”   
“Since when the fuck do demons sleep, Sammy?” Dean laughed, shaking his head. “I was listening to music and resting my eyes.”   
“Am I the ONLY one in this base who needs sleep?” Mary groaned, rubbing her temples. She sighed at looked at the three boys. “Okay, this conversation doesn’t matter. Change of plans, Cas you stay here and watch Dean. Sam, get dressed and come with me, and do everything I tell you to.”   
“But-” Cas started, but shut up as soon as Mary gave him a warning glance. He looked to the ground, but quickly drew in a sharp breath as he felt Dean's arms latched around him.   
“Yeah, me and Cas can stay here and study teenager style~” He purred into Castiel’s ear, who drew in a long and nervous breath.   
“If that is a reference, I do not understand it.” He breathed in frustration. Sam was lightly chuckling, and stopped as soon as he looked at Mary’s face. He sighed and nodded, walking in the direction of his room to change into his FBI suit.   
“Damn, even soulless, Sammy is still your bitch!” Dean laughed. 

“Dean, please use headphones when you’re watching something inappropriate like that.”   
Sam and Mary had been gone for about an hour, and Castiel was sitting in the bunkers library with Dean- who was watching porn at a very loud volume. He slowly looked at Cas with pitch black eyes, and smirked as he dramatically turned the computer's audio louder. Cas groaned and rolled his eyes.   
“What? Don’t you like porn?” Dean shouted over the sexy music, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. “Remember that one time you watched it with us?”   
“I was simply curious. I had little to no exposure to human interaction.” Cas growled. Dean slowly rose up from his chair and strut over to Cas, slowly walking behind him and then leaning into his ear.   
“I can give you more exposure if you’d like~”   
Cas immediately stood up and walked five feet away from Dean, his face red and feeling as if it were on fire. Dean’s now green eyes stared at him mischievously, and he bit his lip.   
“Dean, I would greatly appreciate it if you stopped toying with people’s feelings, including mine.” He stuttered, avoiding eye contact. He drew in a shaky breath in attempts to drown out Dean's chuckling.   
“Oh? But I’m not toying, Castiel.” He purred. “I want me a slice of angel cake.”   
Before Dean could say anything else, Cas swiftly grabbed the squirt bottle from the table he was sitting at, squirting Dean in the face. Dean hissed and flinched away, subtle steam rolling off of the surface of his skin. Sam was a pain in the ass now a days, but his brilliant idea of holy water in a squirt bottle was very useful.   
“Bad, Dean.” Cas snapped. Dean panted and looked at him with pitch black eyes.   
“You mother fucker!” He spat, charging at the angel. Cas started rapidly shooting water at Dean, who yelped and flinched back.   
“OKAYOKAYOKAYOKAY-!” He shouted, submitting finally. Cas panted and nodded.   
“Do not try that again, Dean. I’m not afraid to hurt you.” He growled, using his old angel-in-command voice. Whatever she was dealing with, Castiel hoped Mary was having an easier time working with Sam.

“One more time, Sam. What isn’t okay?”   
“Laughing at a victim because they got their testicles bitten off.”   
“And why isn’t it?”   
“Because it hurts their feelings and it shouldn’t be funny.”   
“And if anything, it’s…”   
“Really sad.”   
“Good.”   
Mary stared up at Sam with her eyes narrowed and her arms crossed, pursing her lips in frustration after her son had left a victim in tears. Sam still looked slightly amused, even as his head was bowed down in fake shame. Mary let out a long sigh and uncrossed her arms, resting her hands onto her hips.   
‘“Y'know, I really wish you cared.” She breathed. Sam looked down at her and tilted his head.   
“I do care, though.” He said slowly. Mary huffed and shrugged.   
“Whatever. Lets just go do some research and gank whatever did this. Got any ideas?”  
“Kinky werewolf, maybe?” Sam suggested, obviously forcing down a smile. “Uh, maybe a witch. The vic said he remembers being knocked out by a humanoid figure, then waking up in excruciating pain under the belt. A witch might find some magic uses for that kinda thing.”   
“It’s just really weird… I’ve never seen a case like this. Four victims with all the same injury, two dead.” Mary muttered, thinking to herself. “Let’s head over to the house the other two woke up in. I’ll drive, you call Cas and put him on speaker.”  
They got into the car and Mary forcefully buckled Sam into his seat, and began driving down to the address she received from the vic’s files. She turned down the music in the car when Sam dialed Cas’s number and clicked his phone to speaker.   
“Hello?” Castiel’s low voice answered, sounding slightly in distress.   
“Cas, we have the funniest case on our hands-” Sam begun, but Mary groaned and leaned into the phone to be louder than her soulless son.   
“Four men were found with their testicles bitten off, two of them died in the process. We talked to the other two, and they both described seeing a humanoid figure before being knocked out. When they woke up, they were in a house and injured. Any thoughts on what it could be?”   
“Well I- DEAN STOP LAUGHING.” Cas shouted. Deans laughter was heard in the background, which was also flooded with loud moaning.   
“Uh, what's going on…?” Mary asked slowly.   
“Dean refuses to turn the volume down on the pornography he's watching.” Cas huffed, sounding very stressed out. “Anyways, this is a very perplexing case and I’m not sure what could’ve caused it. I’ll do some research about the lore, but I don’t know, this strangely feels familiar- DEAN PLEASE STOP LICKING A DONUT SUGGESTIVELY AROUND ME IT’S MAKING ME VERY UNCOMFORTABLE.”   
“Alright- well you sound busy.” Sam muttered.   
“We’ll be home in an hour or two.” Mary reassured the angel, sighing in slight frustration over her two sons.   
“Please make it the former.” Cas breathed in exhaustion, hanging up. Sam shoved his phone back into his pocket and looked at Mary.   
“Lets go kill some testicle monsters.” He smirked. Mary rolled her eyes. 

“Don’t go off doing anything stupid, Sam. Check in with me before doing ANYTHING.” Mary ordered strictly as soon as they arrived at the house. Sam nodded and walked inside, searching around as Mary scanned for EMF.   
He walked into a room that had a few crosses on the walls, along with shelves of angel statues and frames with bible quotes in them. Perplexed, Sam walked towards a shelf with an empty spot on it.   
Lying there, was a fake mustache. Something about it made Sam uneasy, and it seemed familiar… Interested, Sam picked it up and put it into his coat pocket. He then headed back downstairs to report the nothing he had found to Mary.

“We’re home!” Called Mary, walking into the bunker. From the kitchen, Cas was heard groaning a tired greeting.   
Mary walked into the kitchen with Sam on her tail, and stopped abruptly as she recognized Dean laying on the table, passed out. An entire bottle of Fireball was empty next to him, along with multiple beers.   
“It was the only way to get him to shut up.” Cas groaned, rubbing his temples. “I also tried to read up on the lore, nothing matched. At all.”   
“Great.” Mary sighed. “Well, you did your best, Cas. I’m going to bed.”   
The blonde stormed out of the room, and Sam turned to face Cas.   
“Has Dean been flirting with you?” He asked. Cas looked up in shock, his face red.   
“He flirts with everyone when he's like this!” He squeaked. Sam rolled his eyes and started to walk out the room.   
“Okay, sure, whatever.” He muttered. He walked into his room and took out the mustache from his pocket, looking at in in interest and confusion. He was interrupted by his phone buzzing, however. He took it out of his pocket and read a text. 

666:  
Tomorrow at 5 AM, go to the nearest warehouse. Bring Squirrel. Don't tell Wings or Mom.


	3. Bad Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “WHY THE HELL ARE YOU COVERED IN BLOOD!?” Mary exclaimed, horrified. Dean shrugged.   
> “We found a vamp nest.” He stated casually, walking over to the fridge.   
> “And?” Cas asked. Dean grabbed a beer from the fridge and shut the door, eyeing Cas.   
> “We killed it.” He replied, opening the beer and drinking from it.   
> \-----------------------------------------------------  
> The boys sneak out to do local hunts with Crowley. Sam and Mary have no luck with the testicle case. Dean thinks back to the first time he got drunk by himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for underage drinking and vomiting. And of course blood, but I assume you all already knew that.

“Sammy, tell me again why we’re sneaking out to meet up with Crowley?” Dean groaned rubbing his temples in attempts to rid of a hangover. Sammy was forced to drive because of this.

“Because it sounded important. If it isn't, we can easily kill Crowley as we are.” Sam shrugged, not looking at Dean as he did. Something curious burned in the back of his mind. “Hey, how come you haven’t tried booking it yet? Last time you were like this, you just straight up left.” Dean hesitated, but glanced over at Sam.

“I’m not a Knight anymore, Sam.” He finally replied. “I don’t have the mark anymore, either. I’m just like a normal demon now, hell I could die from a demon blade if someone took a swing at me. That's probably a stupid thing to tell my terminator brother, but that's not the point.” He rambled, scratching at his head. “I’m just as easy to fight as Meg or Ruby or some shit. There wouldn't be a point in trying to leave.”

“Oh. Huh.” Sam breathed, still keeping his eyes on the road.

He pulled up to the warehouse, and recognized Crowley standing outside. The brothers exited the car, casually walking up to the king of Hell.

“Hello, boys.” He greeted, smirking.

“Hi.” Sam growled.

“Why do you need us, cockmonkey?” Dean slurred. Crowley chuckled,

“I’ve found a vampire nest, figured you boys not only needed to let off some steam, but also wouldn’t tolerate these scumbags living in your local state.”

“FUCK YEAH I'M GONNA FIGHT THESE ASSHATS!” Dean exclaimed, somehow coming out of his hangover instantly. He whipped out a machete and barged into the warehouse.

“Why’d he already have tha….nevermind.” Sam sighed. He went back to the impala and swung open the trunk, grabbing some Dead Man's Blood and a machete. He slammed the trunk and walked into the warehouse, gazing around in curiosity. Dean was already searching for someone to gank.

“CMON OUT, BLOOD SUCKING BITCHES!” He laughed. Sam gazed around in caution, and perked up once he heard a hiss. A vampire snarled and leapt at him- to which Sam jumped back and fired a dart of blood at it. The vampire screeched, and there was another snarl as one leapt at Dean. It tackled him, knocking and pinning him to the ground. Dean laughed and kicked up into its abdomen, making it yelp and fall back onto the ground. Dean instantly stood back up, and ran over the the vampire struggling to stand. He swung his machete and sliced its head off like a hot knife through butter. Sam ran over to the other vamp, swinging his machete across its neck. It sliced through the struggling vamps tracia, and as things seemed to go in slow motion, Sam threw up the machete into the air and flipped it with the momentum of the swing he just did. He swung backwards along the same track, finishing the job and cutting it’s head off completely.

“OH FUCK YEAH!” Dean exclaimed. Another vampire jumped down from the ceiling, snarling and flinging itself at Dean. Dean's eyes turned pitch black as he snarled back, then kicked it to the ground. He brought down the machete and sliced its head in half, a sickening splatter sound mixed with a cry was heard from this. Two more vamps jumped down from the rafters, both hurtling themselves at Sam. Sam shot one with dead man's blood, and swung the machete at the other, sending it’s head rolling. Dean ambushed the one infected with blood, laughing and slicing it across the chest, then hacking through its neck.

Next to him, Sam heard a tiny snarl. A young girl attacked him, baring her fangs and sobbing. Sam shot her with blood, causing her to scream and fall over.

“How many are left of you?!” He spat. The girl sobbed.

“It’s j-just me! Y-you killed my entire nest!” She wailed. “Please don't hurt me!” Sam stared down at the little girl with a cold face. He brought the machete down, cutting through her neck as she screeched.

“DONT FUCK WITH THE WINCHESTERS!” Dean cried in victory, laughing. Sam looked over at his brother, and saw that the man was soaked in blood. Normally, this would be terrifying to Sam, but now he could care less.

The warehouse doors swung open, and Crowley walked in, clapping slowly.

“Nice job, boys. Did you enjoy letting off some steam? Taking a little vacation?”

“HELL YEAH!” Dean yelled. Sam nodded.

“It just feels good getting a job done.” He shrugged.

“Yes, well done.” Crowley purred. “You should get back home, I’ll take care of the bodies.”

“Got it.” Dean replied, walking out before anyone could say anything else. Sam felt a bit suspicious over this ‘favor’ Crowley was doing...but he said nothing.

He walked out of the warehouse and shut the doors, but caught a glimpse of something as he closed them. The corpse of the little girl evaporated into blue smoke, as if she was some sort of fabricated thing.

Maybe he was just seeing things.

Dean opened up the door to the bunker as quietly as possible, he and Sam stepping inside and then shutting it. He walked to the kitchen, but paused as he heard conversation.

“How could you let him out of your sight, Cas?!” Mary shouted. Cas seemed to be very upset.

“I didn’t think he would just leave like that! He’s probably with Sam, though!”

“That’s even worse! What if they do something stupid?!”

“Stupid? Me? Never!” Dean laughed, walking into the room. Cas and Mary spun around to stare at him, both of their eyes widening in shock.

“Dean! There you are!” Cas breathed.

“WHY THE HELL ARE YOU COVERED IN BLOOD!?” Mary exclaimed, horrified. Dean shrugged.

“We found a vamp nest.” He stated casually, walking over to the fridge.

“And?” Cas asked. Dean grabbed a beer from the fridge and shut the door, eyeing Cas.

“We killed it.” He replied, opening the beer and drinking from it.

“It’s a bit early for that, don’t you think?” Mary said slowly, calming down from thinking her boys snuck out and murdered innocents.

“It's 6 PM somewhere.” Dean shrugged, smirking. Castiel rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Dean, please don’t go sneaking out.” He growled. Dean shrugged and began to walk out of the room.

“I’m good without the constructive criticism, thanks. Don’t you have some healing to do to save Sammy's soul?”

 

“So get this,” Sam started, going through some books in the library with Mary. “there's a pirahna that’s famous for biting people’s testicals off. Perhaps they could be some sort of humanoid fish thing…?”

“The vics were no where near any water.” Mary responded coldly, drumming her fingers on the side of the book she was buried in. Sam sighed and went back to reading. Castiel walked into the room, frowning.

“I’ve just gotten off the phone from Crowley.” He announced. “Theres been another….testical...attack.” From the other room, Dean was heard laughing his ass off. Sam burst out cackling at Castiel’s statement as well.

“Stop being so goddamn immature!” Mary scolded. “This is serious!”

“Oh COME ON! It’s funny, soul or not!” Sam replied. Cas sighed and didn’t intervene the argument, pretending to be very interested in the table.

“Dammit, lets just go check out the house again after the crime. Maybe there’s something we missed” Mary scoffed, getting up and walking to the garage. Sam sighed and followed.

Cas watched them leave, partially wishing he could follow, but he knew he needed to stay and watch Dean. He headed back to the demons room, eying him as he walked in and shut the door. Dean sipped at his beer and smiled at Cas.

“Welcome to hell, what’ll it be? Watching a crappy movie or trying to knock me out with more alcohol?” He sassed, smirking. Castiel scowled at him.

“I swear, you have the liver of god.” He growled. Dean laughed.

“Been building it up since I was ‘bout fifteen, yknow? Start early. Get prepared.” He replied calmly. Cas eyed him.

“How’d you even start this intense alcoholism, anyways?” He asked in what sounded like a rude tone. Dean hesitated.

 

_“Go to bed, Sammy.” Dean growled, narrowing his eyes. “I’m fine, just restless.”_

_“But Dean, what if-”_

_“I already told you, Dad’s off fighting that ghost. It can't come here, it’s spirit is locked to the house it's in.” Dean groaned, rubbing his temples. He was tired, so tired of everything. Earlier Dad had lashed out on him, telling him off and blaming him for not correctly salting the corpse, and how now he had to do it himself tonight. Dean was trying so hard not to cry in front of Sammy. He felt his head might explode. “Just go to bed.”_

_Once Sammy went to bed, Dean did something he was very-not-allowed-to-do. He got up and opened the fridge, taking out a bottle of whiskey._

_Dad drunk when he was upset...it’s supposed to help. Maybe the alcohol he had the week before at that adult club he snuck off to was just bad._

_He drank a sip and gagged, feeling dizzy, but he didn’t mind the taste too much._

_He kept drinking. And drinking. And drinking._

_He downed the whole small bottle, until- “_

_DEAN!?” Dean was curled up on the floor in his own vomit. Sam ran over to his fifteen year old brother, kneeling down over him and shaking him. Dean groaned and blinked at him weakly._

_“Don’t. Tell Dad.” He growled, coughing and vomiting again. Sam got up and grabbed the motel phone._

_“I’m calling Bobby!” He cried, anxiety spiking in his voice. Dean lifted his head to protest, but couldn’t._

_The moment Dean was set onto Bobby's couch after they picked him up and took a long quiet car ride, he got quite the earful._

_“The hell were you thinking, boy?! You coulda been killed by that stuff!” Bobby lectured, handing Dean a bucket and an ice pack. Dean groaned and just curled into a ball, putting the pack on his burning scalp._

_“I'm sorry.” He whimpered. “Dad does it when he’s feeling hurt...why can’t I?”_

_“Because your fathers an idjit, that's why!” Bobby spat, outraged. “Trust me! Both he and I are alcoholics, and it’s not a fun life! Don’t start drinking just ‘cause Daddy does it!”_

_“‘M sorry....” Dean muttered into his knees, which were curled against his chest. “I won't do it again.”_

_That was a lie._

 

“Don’t remember starting, which is the funny thing. I just saw daddy drinking, and joined him, that's all.” Dean laughed, taking a sip of his beer.

 

A week passed, no good news for the case, or trying to get the two brothers to chill out. Crowley kept weirdly finding cases and monsters for the boys to slaughter in the early mornings, which was suspicious, but neither argued.

At one point, however, Mary caught them leaving.

“Hell no, you’re not going on another hunt without someone sane.”

“Mom, we can-”

“No, Sam.”

“Listen, Mom, we’re way more-”

“I said no, Dean.” Mary snarled at her two sons, very tired of their shit. Reluctantly, they let her come with.

 

“Sam! Grab the gun!” Mary exclaimed from the floor, crippled on it after a werewolf had slammed her down. Sam lunged for the gun with silver bullets, and aimed it at the werewolf, who had now grabbed a teenage girl and held her in front of himself. He had his claws wrapped around her throat.

“Another move, and she gets it! Drop the damn gun!” He snarled. Sam stared at the werewolf, narrowing his eyes.

He cocked the gun and aimed it. The werewolf snarled. “I mean it! I will turn her!”

Sam stepped forward. The werewolf buried his fangs into the girl, and she let out a bloody shriek.

Sam shot the gun, sending a bullet through the werewolves head. The injured girl fell to the ground, sobbing and panting as her neck bled. Sam walked up to her.

“Th...thank you. F-for saving me.” She sobbed. Sam aimed the gun.

“Yeah.” He replied coldly. He didn’t listen to Mary shriek, and only listened as he sent a bullet between the girl's eyes.

 

Sam went home passed out in the back seat of the impala, being laughed at by Dean while Mary drove in absolute silence.

Sam stirred once they arrived at the bunker, and obeyed as Mary dragged him in.

She walked into the library and looked at Cas.

 

“We’re getting his soul back. Now.”


	4. Heat Of The Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So, you still know me well, even when I’m soulless.” He purred. Footsteps were heard, getting near him.
> 
> “I know you like I know my own mind.” Dean cooed in return. “Now, do you want to do this the easy way and be a good robot and obey? Or do you want to be a bad little terminator.”
> 
> Sam stood up, turning around to face Dean.
> 
> “You’re hesitating.” He scoffed. “You’re scared of hurting me. Aren’t demons supposed to be cold? Careless?”
> 
> “I still like it better when you chose your words carefully. Y'know, actually try to sound like Sammy. Not some nut-job of my brothers empty corpse.” Dean chuckled.
> 
> “Your insults don't mean anything to me, considering I’m about to kill you.” Sam shrugged. “I’ve always wondered where demons go when they die. Mind telling me if you ever come back? It’ll be good to know before I kill you a second time.” 
> 
> \------------------------------------------------------
> 
> Things get real.

“I don’t need my soul, though! It’s useless baggage!” Sam shouted, his head still spinning from waking up after Mary knocked him out.  “Do you even know what I’ve been able to do?! I’m not afraid anymore! I’m way better of a hunter!” 

“But you aren’t human. You’re a monster.” Cas growled, stepping forward. 

“Im huma-” 

“You killed that girl without hesitation. You didn’t even think about it.” Mary spat, narrowing her eyes and circling Sam. 

“She was bitten! We’d have to kill her anyways!” Sam cried. 

“There's a cure and you know it!” Mary snarled in return. Sam clenched his jaws and exhaled, gazing around. 

“Please, I don’t want my soul back. Souls do nothing but cause pain and suffering. Hell, Dean was the one who told me that years ago!” Sam replied urgently, pointing at his brother. Dean tilted his head. 

“Do I look like I’m suffering right now, buddy? I’ve still got a soul and I’m fine.” 

“You’re never fine, Dean.” Sam muttered, shaking his head. “And your soul is twisted into a demon. I don’t have one. We’re the same amount of crazy.” 

“Do you really think that helps?!” Mary exclaimed. “I’m not letting either of my sons walk around all messed up like this! We’re fixing you, Sam!” 

Sam gazed around at the three people cornering him, Cas and Mary in the front, Dean behind. He took a deep breath, and spun around, bolting away. 

“SAM!” Mary yelped. 

“SAM DON'T DO THIS!” Cas shouted, beginning to chase after him. Dean was immediately on Sam's tail, running after him. Cas and Mary were far behind, and Sam was glad Castiel was saving his mojo to get his soul, meaning he wouldn’t teleport. Dean, however, was fast. 

Sam took a sharp turn down a hallway, and then another that lead to one of the spare rooms- which he knew from experience lead to a hallway to the exit. Hoping he lost Dean, he kept running, but gasped as he was tackled from behind. 

Dean pinned him to the ground, smirking in victory. 

“Dean, you don't want to do this.” Sam grunted. Dean tilted his head. 

“Why not, Sammy?” 

“Because, then I’ll make you human again, and I know you don't want that.” Sam breathed, struggling under Dean's grip. Dean hesitated, but still kept Sam down. Sam rolled his eyes and sighed. “I’ll tell Cas if you don’t let me go.” 

Sam's plan went as he expected, Dean being so selfish that that statement made his release his grip. Part of Sam was amused at how embarrassed Dean could get, but most of him was determined to keep running. 

He shot up and then booked it, sprinting through the room and into the hallway. He could hear voices from the other room. 

“Where’d he go?!” Mary exclaimed. 

“He's too fast, and I don’t really care.” Dean cooed. 

The rest was drowned out, because Sam reached the exit to the bunker. He swung the door open, shut it, and ran into the garage. He grabbed one of the older cars- not Baby, of course. Dean would want to find him if he used her. He started it, then drove out fast as he could. He caught a glimpse of Mary and Cas running into the garage and witnessing him drive away. 

 

“I can’t believe you, Dean! I know you’re lying! You had him, and you let him go.” 

Castiel was very close to Deans face, his expression contorted in disgust. “How could you!? He's your BROTHER, and you’re just letting him practically die like this!” 

“Yup.” Dean rasped, avoiding eye contact. He squinted at the ground, attempting to control his anger, pissed off because, as a demon, he wasn’t supposed to feel guilt. 

But he did. 

“You disgust me.” Castiel growled. 

Before he knew it, Dean had spun around and backhanded Cas, who sharply gasped and stepped back in shock. Dean gazed at his hand, and then at Cas, whose blue eyes were flickering in betrayal. Dean clenched his fist and grit his teeth. 

“Fine. I’ll go fucking find him.” He snarled, spinning around and walking towards the garage. 

“No, you’re not going alone, either-” Mary started, but rage flickered inside of Dean. 

He wanted to say he didn’t do it, or he couldn’t control it, but that would be lying. He knew perfectly well that he had just slammed her into the wall with just his own thoughts. 

His own demonic powers. 

“DEAN!” 

He couldn’t even hear who said it, but he kept walking. The only thing on his mind was finding Sammy. He walked into the garage, got into the Impala, and started her. The revving of the car gave him some form of satisfaction, but he stepped on it. He attempted to imagine where Sam went. In front of him, he found a map. 

There was a red circle around a cabin in the nearest forest...The house where victims from the recent case were found. 

All of his instincts exclaimed that Sam went there, so he drove. It was as if someone powerful was sitting on his shoulder, directing him where to go and what to do.

“How did we let this happen…?” Mary whimpered, running her fingers through her hair. 

“Perhaps Dean will find Sam. We should follow him.” Castiel muttered. Mary looked up at him, squinting her eyes. 

“We dont know where either of them are!” She exclaimed. Cas took out his cellphone.

“Actually,” He started, opening an app. “I turned the GPS on Deans phone last night.” 

“And you choose to bring this up now?!” Mary exclaimed. Cas tilted his head. 

“Yes. It’s relevant.” 

“I- nevermind. Let's go.” 

 

Sam fiddled with the demon blade in his hand, examining it closely. 

The door creaked open, and Sam still faced the wall, not daring to look who was there. He already knew. 

“So, you still know me well, even when I’m soulless.” He purred. Footsteps were heard, getting near him. 

“I know you like I know my own mind.” Dean cooed in return. “Now, do you want to do this the easy way and be a good robot and obey? Or do you want to be a bad little terminator.” 

Sam stood up, turning around to face Dean. 

“You’re hesitating.” He scoffed. “You’re scared of hurting me. Aren’t demons supposed to be cold? Careless?” 

“I still like it better when you chose your words carefully. Y'know, actually try to sound like Sammy. Not some nut-job of my brothers empty corpse.” Dean chuckled. 

“Your insults don't mean anything to me, considering I’m about to kill you.” Sam shrugged. “I’ve always wondered where demons go when they die. Mind telling me if you ever come back? It’ll be good to know before I kill you a second time.” 

Deans expression hardened, and he grabbed his machete he brought with him. 

“So, hard way it is. You always were a drama queen…” He purred, smirking at his brother. Sam gripped onto the demon blade, eying Dean coldly. 

Dean blinked, his green eyes turning black. Sam cracked his neck, and prepared himself to fight. 

Dean let out a yell, and ran at his little brother. 

 

_ Dean held the amulet, grinning ear to ear as he stared at it in awe.  _

_ “I love it, Sammy.”  _

 

Sam slid out of the way, spinning around and swinging his foot at Dean's face. Dean dodged and grabbed Sam's foot, spinning and slamming him down. Sam quickly recovered, tucking and rolling out of the way before Deans foot could collide with his chest. 

 

_ “Dads on a hunting trip, and he hasn’t been home in a few days” _

 

He ducked when Dean's machete swung towards his neck, and countered it by slashing Dean's arm with the knife. 

 

_ “How long do you get…?”  _

_ “...One year.”  _

_ “...You shouldn’t of done that...how could you do that?!”  _

_ “I had to. I had to look out for you. That's my job.” _

_ “And what do you think my job is?”  _

_ “What?”  _

_ “You save my life. Over and over. You sacrifice everything for me, don’t you think I’d do the same for you? You’re my big brother. There's nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”  _

 

Dean roared in pain as it burned into his skin, his black eyes staring at Sammy with utter hatred. He swung a punch at him, managing to land it on his face. There was a crack, and Sam yelped and covered his nose. He looked at his hand as it lowered from his face, seeing it was covered in blood. His gaze darted up at Dean, and he tackled him, slashing his knife wildly in hopes to hit something. 

 

_ “Sam...Sam it’s okay. I’m here. I’m not gonna leave you. I’m not gonna leave you!”  _

_ Sam held Dean by the collar of his jacket, the blood dripping from his fists. He took over Lucifer, and let Dean go.  _

 

Dean spun around and slashed Sam with the machete, leaving a large cut across the chest. Sam kneed Dean in the gut- causing the demon to gasp and fall over. He coughed and sputtered, gazing up at Sam, who then slashed him across the face. He roared once again as it burned at his flesh, and panted as he looked at Sam. 

 

_ Sam was on his knees, spitting out blood as Dean stood over him. He looked up at his big brother, tears forming in his eyes.  _

_ “You’ll never... ever. Hear me say. That you...the real you...is anything but good.” He stuttered. He turned to spit out more blood. “But you’re right.  Before you hurt...anyone else...you have to be stopped. At any cost. I understand.” He let out a trembling sigh, and submit himself. “Do it.” _

_ Death handed Dean his scythe, and Dean gripped it while glaring at Sam. Everything inside him screamed.  _

_ “Close your eyes.” His voice was cold, forcefully shoving away any emotion as Sammy stared up at him tearfully. “Sammy, close your eyes.”  _

_ “Wait…” Sam breathed. He laid out pictures of their family on the floor. “Take these, and one day...when you find your way back...these will be your guide. Maybe one day, you’ll find a way to be good, what it was to love…”  _

_ Dean stared down at the pictures, Deaths urging words going blank in his mind as tears filled his sight.  _

_ “Forgive me.”  _

_ He gripped the scythe, and swung it. It hit Death in the chest, and the two brothers watched him dissolve.  _

 

Dean wanted to fight back, but memories kept forcing themselves through his mind, as if some psychic or something wanted him to give in. 

Sam knelt in front of him. 

“Want to know what your problem is, Dean?” 

 

_ “̕DE̡AN!̢ ̶T̡AKE ͠YO̷U͏R ̡BR̡O͝TH͢E̢R͢ A͝N̸D ͢RU͝N̶ ̧O̵UTSIDE A҉S҉ ̕FA͡ST͡ ̸ĄS ̴YOU ̨CAN!̶ ̶GO͟!̶ ̵NOW͏!͢” _

_ ͡ _

 

“You can still feel. You still have emotions, even as a demon. I’m superior to you because of that.”

 

_ “Ar̕e mon͡s҉ţe̛rs̨ r͝eaļ?͢” ̛ _

_ “̧Wh̨a̢t?̧!͟ Y҉ou’͏r̶e̸ c͢ra̷z̨y!” _

_ ͜“Te͢ll ͞me̶.”  _

 

“I actually have the guts to kill you.” 

 

_ “S҉a͞m̵̧m͠͠y̛͟͠, ̸͜we̷͜’̴̡͟r͘͞e҉̵͠ a̡l̵w̸͘͠a̧̢y̵̨s̵ g̢o̸҉nn̶͢a b̕e̸͟͢ ͟t̶ḩe̷̡r̸̡̕e ͏f̵o͢r ̶e͞͠ac͘h̷̷o̸̢͡t͞͞h̷͘҉ęr̷͘,̶ r̷̡i͏̧g͝ht͏̶?̕”͢͜ _

_ ͏“͟͜R̶̵ig͏h̵͞͡t͘͜!̵̧”̛ ͠͞ _

 

Sam lifted the demon knife, and Dean could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he stared, frozen. 

 

_ “̡͘S̸̨A̧͜M̷̡͟͞҉M̴̨̧͡͡Y̛̕!̢”̛͘͠ _

 

The knife plunged through Deans chest, and Dean could feel his soul flickering. 

“STOP IT.” 

Sam was flung backwards, the knife taken with him. Dean stayed on the ground, trembling and trying to grip onto his life. 

A tall, bright figure appeared between the two of them. Sam stared at it with wide eyes as it walked towards him. 

“Now, Sammy, you might feel a small pinch.” It said gently. Sam stared up in awe. 

“Gabriel…?” 

 

Before he could get an answer, there was a flood of darkness, and everything went blank. 


	5. Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Your name is Sam Winchester, and I just shoved your soul back into your tall body.” Gabe stated, staring down at the human. Sam blinked curiously.
> 
> “My soul? Why did it get out?” He rasped.
> 
> “You died, and my idiot brother didn’t know how to save both your corpse and your soul at the same time.” Gabriel shrugged.
> 
> “Who are you?”
> 
> “My name is Gabriel.” He said casually. “You and your brother thought I was dead, which I was, but Dad decided it was my time to come back.” 
> 
> \-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> Gabriel adventures with Sam through his mind. Dean pretends hes fine despite being stabbed in the chest by a weapon purposely made to kill him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is lowkey boring I am so sorry

Gabriel yawned and stretched out his wings, sighing and looking down at the limp figure of Sammy in front of him. He had expected this to happen, despite the fact that it was just a soul from heaven going into its own body. 

Truth is, though, Sammy isn't just any soul. Something powerful as this kid reconnecting with himself was guaranteed to do some temporary damage, something a wall would usually fix. 

But who needs a wall for just a simple mind paper-cut like this?

Gabriel perked up once he heard a groan, and he turned to look at Sammy, who was struggling to get up off the floor. 

“Rise and shine, pumpkin!” Gabe announced, amused that Sam flinched as soon as he said that. The human turned to look at him, panting and staring at him in awe. 

“Who… are you… Who am I?” 

 

“Dean! Wake up!” 

Deans black eyes fluttered open, and the second they did, excruciating pain swelled up in his chest, and he remembered he had been stabbed by the demon blade. In front of him, Cas stared, his blue eyes wide with worry. 

“Hello, beautiful.” Dean purred, giving a weak smirk. Cas exhaled a breath that he was probably holding unknowingly, and narrowed his eyes. 

“What happened?” He growled. Dean groaned and put a hand on his wound- which was pouring out blood. 

“Am I dead? Are you an angel? Wait, you are. Damn they assigned me a pretty one.” 

“Dean! Focus!” 

“Okay okay. Uh. I tussled it up with Sammy, he stabbed me with the demon blade, some bright light appeared and threw him off me, and then everything went black.” Dean rasped, still clutching his chest. Cas frowned at the wound, and pulled out a first aid kit he had with him. Without explaining, he gripped the corners of Dean's shirt and began to tug it off. 

“Damn, at least buy me dinner, first.” Dean flirted. Castiel scoffed and rolled his eyes, dropping Dean's shirt to the ground and then opening the kit. He sorted through bandages and what not until he managed to find some gauze. 

Something felt familiar about this moment, and Dean couldn’t figure out what it was. Him being wounded in the chest, shirtless as Cas tried to help him…? 

Castiel applied the gauze to Dean's chest, and looked at the demon. 

“I imagine it doesn’t help with the pain, but it’s all we can do for now.” He stated. He turned around. “Mary, is Sam okay?” 

“He’s fine, he's just knocked out, but I can't wake him up.” Mary’s voice replied from the other end of the room. “We should get these two to the hospital.” 

“I agree, we-” Cas had begun to reply, but he was cut off as his eyes suddenly began to glow white, and his expression turned shocked. 

“Cas?” Dean breathed, confused. Cas didn’t respond, he just stood there. Then, suddenly, he gasped and the glowing stopped. He panted as he gazed around wildly, and then turned to look at Mary. 

“We have to take them both back to the bunker.” He breathed, grabbing Dean and attempting to lift him up. 

“I can walk mysel-” 

“Shut up.” Cas cut him off, carrying the demon who was bigger than him with ease. 

“Cas? What happened?” Mary asked, watching as Cas made it for the door. 

“I’ll explain later. Let me put Dean in the car and then come back for Sam.” Cas talked quickly, walking out the door and to the impala. He shoved Dean into the back seat, and narrowed his eyes at him. “Stay.” 

“I get all tingly when you’re all demanding like that, Cas~” Dean cooed in response. Cas scoffed and walked back to the house. After about a minute, Mary and Cas came out carrying the soulless moose, and shoved his limp figure into the back with Dean. 

“I took the knife off his person if you’re worried he will wake up and harm you.” Cas said before Dean could open his mouth. Soon, everyone was in the car and they were driving. 

“Hey...Hey guys,” Dean chuckled. “An Angel, a human, a soulless human, and a demon walk into a bar…” 

 

“Your name is Sam Winchester, and I just shoved your soul back into your tall body.” Gabe stated, staring down at the human. Sam blinked curiously. 

“My soul? Why did it get out?” He rasped. 

“You died, and my idiot brother didn’t know how to save both your corpse and your soul at the same time.” Gabriel shrugged.

“Who are you?” 

“My name is Gabriel.” He said casually. “You and your brother thought I was dead, which I was, but Dad decided it was my time to come back.” 

“Who's your dad?” 

“That's enough questions for right now, Sammy. Come with me.” 

Gabe held out a hand, and Sam took it, allowing the angel to help him up. The two of them walked out of the old, wooden cottage. 

“I’m gonna be your guide for helping you get back together. Luckily, I brought some items that’ll help.” Gabe said, taking an amulet out of his pocket- one that he knew by the name of the ‘Samulet’. He handed it to Sam, who took it and stared at it. 

“I don’t…” He breathed, but then collapsed. 

“There we go.” Gabriel muttered to himself, patiently watching as Sam laid on the floor, twitching. He suddenly stopped, and looked around in confusion. 

“Dean.” He gasped. “My brothers name is Dean.” 

“Very good, Sammy!” Gabe praised. 

“Only Dean can call me that.” Sam growled. 

“Catching on already, even better!” Gabriel responded. Sam stood up, and kept walking. 

“What’re we looking for?” He asked, running his fingers through his long hair in exhaustion. 

“Pieces of you. Oh, speaking of which…” Gabe reached into his back pocket, and took out a pistol. He handed it to Sam. “There you go, kiddo. Merry Christmas.” 

Sam didn’t respond to the angels shitty joke, he just took the gun and cocked it. Gabriel kept walking with him. “Anyways, you have to find another piece of you, and defeat it. Then you’ll merge together as one.”

“What if I lose?” Sam asked, searching around on high alert. 

“Not sure. It wasn’t explained by the writers last time you did this.” Gabe stated, casually breaking the fourth wall. 

 

“So, you had a what? Vision?” Mary asked, handing her son a beer. 

“No. It’s more like an angel private message.” Cas explained. “And… I received it from someone I knew to be dead.” 

“Who? The tooth fairy?” Dean asked, opening the bottle and immediately drinking it in attempts to ease the pain in his chest. Castiel shook his head. 

“No, Gabriel.” He rasped. Dean choked a bit on his drink. 

“Wh- but he's dead!” He exclaimed. 

“Dean, you’ve watched me die countless of times. God has brought me back each time after. I wouldn’t be surprised if he brought Gabriel back to help with our situation.” Cas growled, pacing back and forth. 

“Well tell Chuck I was handling it just fine!” Dean spat. 

“You literally were about to die.” Mary groaned. “I’m actually surprised you aren’t dead. There was such a low chance for you to survive that. If you weren’t a demon, you-” 

“Okay, I get it.” Dean growled. “What does Gabe want?” 

“To leave Sam as he is. He has put his soul back in, and he’s working on awakening him once again” Castiel replied calmly. “And as you know, I put Sam into his bed so he can lay down comfortably.” 

“So… we wait.” Mary sighed. 

  
  
  


Sam perked up, gripping his pistol tight as he heard footsteps. Behind him, Gabe shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket, smiling as he watched the show. Sam turned a corner, and gasped as soon as another figure rounded over, carrying a knife. He gasped and backed up, holding his hands up as he stared at Sam. This person, of course, was another Sam. 

This Sam was very...well. He looked interesting. His expression was full of emotion, and looking at his puppy dog eyes could fill you simply with pure kindness. He was also very clean, as if he had recently spent some time in paradise. His eyes expressed that he had seen some shit, however.  


“Hey wOAH WOAH WOAH HOLD YOUR FIRE!” He exclaimed. The first Sam lowered the pistol slightly. 

“Look, I-I have to kill you, I-” 

“Yeah, I know.” Sam number 2 whimpered. “Look- just let me warn you, first.” 

“Ah, this would be Heaven!Sam.” Gabe cooed. “Lucky you found him first. He-” 

“Has all the memories except the ones where I’m fucked up? Yeah.” Heaven!Sam growled, squinting his eyes at Gabe. He looked back to Sam. “Look, I’ll let you kill me. But I’m warning you, Soulless is...bad news. I-I ran into him, and barely escaped. Just be careful.” 

“Got it. Can I...shoot you now?” Sam breathed. Heaven!Sam scoffed and nodded. Sam aimed, and sent a bullet between the eyes of his double.  

There was a swarm of light, and Sam drew in a sharp breath, collapsing as it flooded him. Gabriel could practically taste the migraine the poor kid would have after inhaling all these memories.

After about a minute passed, Sam sat back up, groaning and rubbing his temples as he stood. He looked at Gabe, and his curious expression of him before turned to something more sour. 

“Whelp, I remember you now.” He snarled. 

“C’mon, Sammy! You had to of missed me a lil bit! I did die for you, after all!” Gabriel chuckled. Sam scowled at him. 

“Yeah. And you made me watch my brother die hundreds of times.” He replied coldly, narrowing his eyes. “Also- how the hell are you alive? Lucifer killed you!” 

“Like I said, Daddy decided it was time to come back.” Gabriel shrugged. 

“Ew, please don't say ‘Daddy’. It-” 

“Daddy.” 

“Gabriel, why-” 

“Daddy.” 

“STOP.” 

  
  


Dean walked into Sammy's room, his gaze locking on Sam's limp body, which was laying on his bed. Dry blood was smeared on his face, however his nose was no longer broken, thanks to Cas and his healing. Part of Dean screamed internally because Cas hadn’t tried to heal _him_ , but the other part reassured that he wouldn’t be able to. Angels aren’t meant to heal a demon soul. Instead, Dean just stared down at Sam, waiting for him to wake up. The first thing Dean would do is either punch the son of a bitch, or just walk away and tell Cas and Mom that he's awake. 

“You should go rest.” Cas growled from the doorway. Dean glanced over at the angel, narrowing his eyes. 

“I’m a demon, I don't need sleep.” He replied spitefully. Castiel sighed and walked over. 

“No, I mean just rest in bed. Do things humans usually do when they’re sick.” 

“I got stabbed in the heart, I didn’t get the damn flu.” Dean stated brittley. 

“Yes, but your human vessel needs to heal from that injury.” Cas huffed, annoyed by Deans arguing. Dean narrowed his eyes. 

“Fine.” He growled, walking out of the room. He couldn’t help but feel irritated at how Cas watched him go with his pretty blue eyes- which were filled with such repulsion. He walked into his room, put on his headphones and blasted music into em, and then closed his eyes. 

  
  


  
“So, what’re you planning on doing after you help fix my soul or whatever? You gonna go back to messing with us or other innocent people?” Sam asked in an orotund tone. Gabriel shrugged, casually walking behind the human. 

“Not sure. I’m probably gonna help out dean-o after this, actually.” He replied matter-of-factly. Sam narrowed his eyes. 

“What's wrong with Dean?” He asked. Gabe let out a loud laugh. 

“That's right! You don't remember cause you were soulless!” He chuckled. “Deany-weenie has the case of devil horns, my friend. Hes got his soul in a twist.” 

“Wait, Dean's a demon!?” Sam exclaimed, his face displaying utter shock. Gabriel smirked and nodded. 

“Funny thing is, you just nearly killed him before I stuffed your soul back in ya.” He stated in a silvery voice. “It’s extremely surprising he's alive. It’s gonna take a while to heal him, though.” 

“I… I-I tried to kill Dean?” Sam winced in a small, guilty voice. Gabriel nodded. 

“Got him square in the heart with the demon blade, kiddo. He can't survive that like he could before as a Knight.” 

“‘I…” Sam began, but paused as there was footsteps. He cocked his pistol and held it, readying himself. 

Within a few seconds, another Sam appeared in front of the first and the angel. He held a shotgun, and he gave a smirk as he laid eyes on Sam. 

“There you are, Sammy.” He said, his voice and general expression seeming dead, as if the smirk on his mouth was just plastered on. Sam aimed his pistol, but Soulless!Sam cocked his shotgun and aimed it back at him. 

“We’re both going to end up the same way anyways, so you might as well just surrender.” Sam stated in a wobbly voice. Soulless!Sam tilted his head. 

“Why, so you can take away who I am? Drown me in all that soul of yours?” He scoffed. “No thanks. Not only that, but you don't want to know what I am. Do you really think you can handle witnessing what you’ve done?” 

“Yes. Yes I do.” Sam growled. He pulled the trigger of his pistol, and Soulless!Sam bolted out of the way, leaving Sam to cuss loudly in anger and chase after him. Gabriel just watched with amusement. They ran out of his line of sight, and there was suddenly more gunshots. Gabe snapped his fingers and teleported to where the action was happening. 

Sam panted, holding his shoulder and gritting his teeth in pain, obviously grazed by a bullet. He still held his pistol, aiming at Soulless!Sam, who was holding his bleeding hand and eyeing his rifle which lay five feet away from him.

“Great job, Sammy!” Gabriel praised. Sam didn’t look away from Soulless. 

“No thanks you to.” He growled. Gabriel laughed. 

“Before you put a bullet in your doppelgangers skull, I’m gonna just say that this time, you’ll remember this. That way readers don't get mad at plot-holes.” 

“Wh-....what?” 

“Just pull the trigger, piglet.” 

Sam squeezed the trigger of the pistol down, shooting Soulless!Sam through the head. His corpse fell to the ground, and like before, a bright light flew into Sam, causing him to collapse. 

  
  


Castiel perked up as soon as he saw Sam twitching and fidgeting in his rest. Curious, he tilted his head and watched, fearful of something going wrong. Sam gasped and rolled around on his bed, until his eyes snapped open and he shot up, panting. His expression was full of shock and fear, and his gaze flickered around the room until he found the doorway. Unsure of what he was looking at, Castiel looked in the same direction. 

“Hiya, Sammy!” Gabriel greeted. 


	6. Hell Cat and Puppy Moose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before he could finish, the demon was pried off his brother, spitting in confusion and rage. Once Sam recovered, he panted and gazed around until he saw Gabriel, struggling to hold Dean as if he was some pissy cat. Castiel ran in with the squirt bottle, spraying Dean with holy water.
> 
> “Bad. Don’t attack your family, Dean.” He growled. Dean hissed in pain and eventually calmed himself, ceasing his fidgeting and thrashing in Gabriel's arms, and now panting as he stared at Sam. Gabe laughed nervously.
> 
> “He’s got a bit of a temper that I’ve been trying to control for him.” He stated casually, finally letting Dean out of his archangel grasp. Dean skidded away to the edge of the room, panting and staring at Sam, his eyes still pitch black. “You see, though he may be a demon, I’ve learned how to stabilize his violence. That’s the second time I’ve needed to save your skin.” 
> 
> \-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> Sam is back, but feels guilt ridden to all hell. Cas remembers he likes Dean. Dean is unstable and angry. Gabriel is a dick. Mary sleeps because Jesus Christ its 3 AM y'all shut the fuck up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FEEL BAD FOR GETTING RID OF SOULLESS SAM BUT IF I DIDN'T THE STORY WOULDN'T KEEP GOING I AM VERY SORRY

Sam panted as he stared, seemingly taking in his surroundings. He glanced over to Cas, swallowing and taking a deep breath in apprehension. 

“Where’s Dean?” He rasped. Cas narrowed his eyes at Gabriel. 

“Is he-” 

“His souls in place, Casserole.” Gabriel responded, shoving his hands into his jacket's pockets and leaning against the door frame. Sam urgently grabbed Castiel by the shoulder. 

“Cas. Where’s Dean?” He repeated, more urgent.

“In his room. I don’t recommend you disturb hi-” 

Before Cas could finish, Sam sprung up from his bed and bolted out his room. He ran through the bunker, reaching room 11. He opened up the door, walking inside and gazing around. He felt a large pang of guilt as he recognized Dean's body, limp on his bed as headphones were wrapped around his ears- blasting music so loud that Sam could faintly hear it. 

His chest was wrapped in loose bandaging, and gauze was smacked right in the center, dry blood visible through the white fabric. His expression was rather tired, his face slightly disgruntled from obvious pain, but he most likely managed to fall asleep even as a demon. He looked so...fragile. 

 

_ “Want to know what your problem is, Dean?” Sam snarled. “You can still feel. You still have emotions, even as a demon. I’m superior to you because of that.” He gave a mischievous grin, gripping onto his knife and aiming it. “I actually have the guts to kill you.”  _

_ Sam lifted the demon knife, and Deans usually calm or angry face turned to something that was vibrant in fear.The knife plunged through Deans chest, and Deans flickering soul was visible through his skin.  _

 

The scene flashed through his mind, the wound fresh. He felt like he was screaming inside- he had tried to kill his brother. Dean should've died from that...yet here he was. Badly injured, of course, but alive. He nervously walked up to his brother, part of him loudly insisting that he either hug him or rapidly apologize- the other half yelling for him to just leave Dean alone. 

Before Sam could make up his mind, he drew in a sharp gasp as he saw black eyes flicker open on his brother- taking the place of where his green ones should have been. He sat up, and narrowed the black beady eyes of his. 

“Hey, Dean! I-” 

Before Sam could say anything, Dean jumped up from his bed and tackled him, roaring in anger. 

“YOU MOTHER FUCKER! COME NEAR ME AGAIN AND I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD-” 

Before he could finish, the demon was pried off his brother, spitting in confusion and rage. Once Sam recovered, he panted and gazed around until he saw Gabriel, struggling to hold Dean as if he was some pissy cat. Castiel ran in with the squirt bottle, spraying Dean with holy water. 

“Bad. Don’t attack your family, Dean.” He growled. Dean hissed in pain and eventually calmed himself, ceasing his fidgeting and thrashing in Gabriel's arms, and now panting as he stared at Sam. Gabe laughed nervously. 

“He’s got a bit of a temper that I’ve been trying to control for him.” He stated casually, finally letting Dean out of his archangel grasp. Dean skidded away to the edge of the room, panting and staring at Sam, his eyes still pitch black. “You see, though he may be a demon, I’ve learned how to stabilize his violence. That’s the second time I’ve needed to save your skin.”  

“Wait- so YOU’VE been the fucker spamming my mind with memories?!” Dean snarled, blinking the black out of his eyes finally. Gabriel shrugged. 

“I like to label it ‘sending you to your happy place’.” He replied in a fruity voice, smirking. 

“Uh, Dean, I…” Sam started, feeling a lump of guilt get caught in his throat as he tried to speak. He sighed, scratching at his head and looking at the ground, then back to Dean. “Look, what I did...I-it wasn't me, you know, but it also wasn’t okay. And I-” 

“You nearly killed me, Sam.” Dean growled. “I had about a one percent chance of not dying, and the fact that I didn’t means we probably won't be winning the lottery soon.” 

“Okay, again, I’m really, really sorry. I just-” 

“Not to mention, THIS asshat-” Dean pointed at Gabriel. “Was forcing memories of you being my brother as you killed me! Try watching your own damn brother stab you while your mind is getting flooded with memories of when he was eight asking if monsters are real! Or when he was fighting off freaking Lucifer in his mind as you sobbed for mercy, and then seconds later he's falling into the pit! And then its back to him killing you!” 

“Dean, I-” 

“Do you know how fucking painful this shit is?! Do you know how hard it is for me not to tear your freaking lungs out right now?! Do you-” 

“Enough!” Gabriel exclaimed, and Dean yelped and fell backwards, clutching his head. Sam ran over to him, kneeling over his demonic brother in panic. 

“What did you do to him?!” He winced, staring at Gabriel, who shrugged. 

“Good memories weren’t calming him, so I punished him.” He replied in a silvery voice. 

“What. Memories.” Sam growled, anxiety heightening for his brother when he realized the demon was trembling. 

“Just the pit. Y’know, the oldies.” Gabe answered. Sam felt crushed as he realized the angel was talking about hell. 

“Stop it.” Sam didn’t ask this, he commanded it. Gabriel raised his hands up in surrender, shaking his head. 

“Got it, got it.” He surrendered, snapping a finger. Dean seemed to un-tense, still quickly breathing in panic, which made Sam wonder just how vivid the memories were. He wrapped his arms around his brother, urging him back up and reassuring him under his breath. Surprisingly, Dean clung on, narrowing his eyes at Gabriel with pure hatred as he held onto his tall brother much like a koala to a tree. 

Sam didn’t like where everything was going, at all. Dean was a demon, but he was still Dean…and he apparently could still feel emotions and care and guilt. 

Dean was silent, and Sam managed to set him to sit down on his bed. He turned to face Gabriel, scowling in disapproval. Unable to find any words to say about this, Sam stormed out of the room. 

“Oh c’mon, Sam!” Gabriel cried out, walking after him. Sam kept walking until he reached his room, and he immediately sat on his bed and opened his laptop. Gabe followed him, walking into the room and smirking. “What’cha doing?” 

“Working on the case I’ve been too busy being soulless to work on.” Sam growled. Gabriel laughed. 

“Oh, the testicle monster thing? Ha! That was me.” He replied smoothly. Sam narrowed his eyes and shut his laptop. He stood up, walking over to Gabriel and looking down at him threateningly, using all of his height to his advantage. 

“Why are you doing this? How do you even plan to help my brother if all you do is torture him?” He threatened, anger growing within him as he spoke. 

“Hey, Dean was being a demonic dick!” Gabriel spat. “I was helping you!” 

“Dean can’t help it, and he had the right to attack me! I tried to kill him, Gabriel!” 

“Oh since when does death mean anything to a Winchester anymore?!” Gabriel laughed. 

“Look, I don’t know what you want, but I know for a fact you aren’t doing this out of the kindness of your heart.” Sam stated, his voice softer but punctuated with frustration. “You’re too selfish.” 

“I DIED for you!” Gabriel exclaimed, stretching out his arms in exasperation. 

“You died for LUCIFER. You died standing up to him, because it was personal between you and him. You couldn’t handle letting us help.” Sam snarled. 

“Don't you fucking-” 

“You know what?!  Maybe, you’re doing this as a vent! You’re venting your family issues through me and Dean! Well guess what?! Dean isn’t Lucifer! And he never will be!” 

Gabriel looked as if Sam had just smacked him in the face and snapped his puppy's neck. He stepped back, narrowing his eyes and huffing in frustration. He turned and walked out the room, not saying a word. 

  
  


Castiel sat onto the bed that Dean was laying on, slightly worried. Dean stayed quiet, looking at the ceiling- until his gaze flickered and locked to Castiel's. Cas frowned.

“Are you...Alright…?” He winced. Dean huffed and shrugged. 

“Well, remembering being tortured until you break isn’t fun.” He muttered, looking away from the angel and at the end of the bed. Castiel could still sense the absolute fear in the demon, and he felt bad for him. This was still Dean…

Castiel gently grabbed Dean's hand, and to his surprise, Dean didn’t respond. Castiel shut his eyes. He wanted to calm Dean down...what would be his favorite memory? 

“Gabriel.” Cas commanded internally. Soon, he heard a response. 

“What.” 

“What is Dean’s favorite memory? You said you gave him a happy place.” 

For a while, Gabriel didn’t respond, until a few seconds later. 

“He likes that necklace one a lot. The one where Sam gave him the amulet.” 

“Thank you, brother.” 

Castiel thought carefully, holding onto Dean's hand. 

 

_ “What is that?”  _

_ “Present for Dad!”  _

_ “Yeah right. Where’d you get the money? Steal it?”  _

_ “No! Uncle Bobby gave it to me to give to him. Said it was real special!”  _

 

_ “Here. Take this.”  _

_ “No, no its for Dad.”  _

_ “Dad lied to me! I want you to have it.”  _

_ “...You sure?”  _

_ “‘M sure.”  _

_ “...Thank you Sam, I...I love it…”  _

 

When Cas opened his eyes, Dean was still quiet, but no longer shaking, and Castiel could no longer sense any fear on him. In fact, he had surprisingly fallen asleep, his hand still clutching onto Cas’s. 

Being someone who doesn’t sleep, Cas stared at the ceiling, thinking to himself. He had seen Gabriel's wings, and though the archangel didn’t dare to show them, Cas could tell they were damaged. Though Cas had his own set of broken wings, that were in fact far worse than Gabriel's, but he could tell his brother wasn’t telling him something… 

 

When Dean woke up, Cas was gone. Whatever, he didn’t give two shits for that angel anyways. He got up from his bed, walking to the kitchen and opening the fridge. As he opened up a beer, he checked the time displayed on the microwave. 

4:30 am. About an hour passed since he had fallen asleep… 

Dean took a swing of his beer, and then sighed. He gazed around the room, and then drew in a sharp breath of surprise. 

“JEEZuS-” He yelped, jumping a bit as he noticed Gabriel standing in the doorway. “Don't you angels make any goddamn noise? At all?” 

“Morning to you too, sausage.” Gabriel replied, walking in. He sat on the counter next to Dean, and pulled out a syringe from his pocket. 

It was filled with blood. 

“Uh, whatcha got there?” Dean asked slowly, raising an eyebrow. 

“Human blood- purified.” Gabriel explained casually. “Your new daily antibiotic.” Dean choked on his drink. 

“M...My what?” He chuckled. “Do you really think I’m that stupid?” 

“Dean.” Gabriel sighed. “It’s just a shot a day, to give you empathy and what not. Or, would you rather I bring back the pit?” He laughed, raising a hand in snapping position. Dean flinched. 

“Woah woah woah okay! Okay. Fine.” Dean stumbled over himself in words. He rolled back his sleeve, and exposed his arm. “Just make it quick.” 

Gabriel inserted the needle into Dean's arm. He pushed down on the end, injecting the blood into the demon. Dean grunted, and Gabriel took the needle out, and cleaned up the tip. 

“Happy?” Dean growled. “It really doesn’t- AGH!” Dean gasped in sudden pain as he felt his veins burn and sizzle, his demonic blood mixing with human. His body felt like it was on fire, until after a second, he was fine. He panted as sudden feelings flooded him, and guilt suddenly roosted in his core. He looked over to Gabriel- but then quickly realized he was gone. Instead, Dean walked out of the kitchen, and to Sam's room. 

Dean opened the door, and saw light from the hallway shine onto his brothers sleeping face. He stared, and noticed Sam stir slightly. His eyes opened and fell onto Dean, and then he suddenly jumped and sat up, his eyes wide with fear. 

“DEAN! HEY! WH- Uh- I…” He stuttered. Dean walked towards him, and Sam got up, holding his hands out in defense. “Heyheyheyhey- whoa- Dean I’m sorry about what happened, I-” 

Sam drew in a sharp breath as Dean suddenly embraced him, wrapping his arms around him and sighing. “...Dean?” 

“Just shut up for one goddamn minute and accept a silent apology, Bitch.” Dean mumbled into his brother's shirt. Sam was very confused, but he slowly wrapped his arms around Dean in return, laughing a bit. 

“Jerk.” 


	7. Straight As A Coat Hanger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don't think I was in my right mind, of course. Kissing a vamp?" Dean scoffed, shaking his head. "That's the easiest way to get turned...but hell, I'm a sucker for pretty blue eyes...especially ones that understand me, but don't give me worthless pity." He sighed a bit, and then coughed nervously. "But, y'know... I'm not gay or anything."
> 
> "So you've told me, Dean." Cas stated flatly.
> 
> "Yeah, I've only kissed two guys before!" Dean scoffed. "Well- er- slept with one...once. But that- that didn't count."
> 
> This time, Sam accidentally kicked at the floor as he flinched in surprise.  
> \-------------------------------------------------------------------  
> Mary is tired. Gabriel remembers. Cas plays Monopoly. Sam worries about Dean. Dean gets sentimental.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!! The next few chapters are gonna be like how normal seasons go. Each are still plot relevant, but some are more just the boys hunting more than doing things that harshly drive the story. Slow build.

Mary sipped at her coffee, her eyes tracing along the newspaper in search of a case. She gently set the paper down onto the table and folded it. She looked up at Gabriel, crossing her arms and raising her eyebrows.

"So, Sam has his soul back, and you're an archangel that's practically medicating and training my older son so his demonic instincts don't take over?" Her voice was tired, yet calm. Gabriel chuckled a bit.

"Basically, yeah." He replied proudly. Mary lifted the mug to her face, shaking her head.

"I'm getting too old for this shit." She sighed, taking a sip of coffee. Footsteps were heard, and Mary looked over to see Sam walk into the room, rather drowsy, but thankfully back to how he was with a soul.

"Morning." He greeted, walking over to the fridge and grabbing one of his health drinks that only he likes. He sipped at it and leaned against the counter, looking slightly uncomfortable at the fact that his mother was staring at him.

"Morning?" Mary scoffed, ignoring the fact that Gabriel flew off at the hint of any tension. "You're soulless for two weeks, can't give a single damn about anything or anyone, and now you walk in and act all normal?"

"Yeah...?" Sam laughed nervously. "Sorry, but this stuff is kinda normal now a days." He sipped at his drink casually, but seemed to choke a bit as he noticed something behind Mary- who looked over to the doorframe to see Dean walking into the kitchen.

"Morning." He greeted similar to his brother, however he was far more awake. He walked over to the coffee maker, taking the pot out of the holder and pouring himself some coffee.

"That's an interesting necklace you got there, Dean." Mary stated, smiling a bit at the unfamiliar garment Dean had on. Behind her, she heard Sam choke on his drink once again, but far less subtly. Dean smirked a little, eyeing his brother, and then looked at the amulet with pride.

"Yup. I kept it in my drawer for a while...decided it was time to finally put it back on." He explained, sipping at his coffee. He smacked his lips and walked over to sit at the table, sighing in satisfaction. "Sammy gave it to me, actually. When we were kids."

"Really, now?" Mary scoffed and smiled in interest. Dean nodded.

"Yup. Bobby gave it to him to give to Dad as a present, but he didn't make it home for Christmas. So Sammy, being the stubborn yet adorable kid he was, gave it to me instead." He laughed affectionately. "Didn't stop wearing it until about maybe seven years ago? Eight?"

"Yup." Sam muttered, avoiding eye contact. Dean huffed a bit, and got up.

"Well, I promised to show Cas how to play Monopoly after I got some coffee, so see ya." He said casually, exiting the room. Mary noticed Sam was watching him very suspiciously. He scoffed a bit, his expression reading his usual 'well something's up' look. He sipped at his drink.

"What? Upset that he's got empathy?" Mary scoffed. Sam shook his head.

"He's not really supposed to have human feelings like that, is the thing. Something's up. He can't just change like that."

"It's probably the human blood Gabriel's giving him." Mary replied. She flinched when Sam suddenly spit out his drink and stared at her in shock.

"Th...The WHAT!?" He panted, wiping his mouth.

"Uh. Human blood, Sam." Mary replied flatly. "A daily dose of it."

This statement seemed to make Sam even more upset- to the point of where he was now rapidly pacing the floor and attempting to speak, but his words kept failing. Finally, he took a deep breath.

"We can't let this happen." He said, his voice shaky. Mary narrowed her eyes and tilted her head.

"Uh, why not?" She asked, baffled. Sam gave her the classic angry puppy-moose face.

"He's going to get addicted to it, I can promise that. He's gonna become a goddamn blood junky." He said, scowling. "I can't let my brother go through that."

"Jeez, defensive much?" Mary scoffed. "It's not like you have personal experience with it, right?"

Sam immediately stopped pacing and looked at his mother dead in the eye. He seemed to somehow be full of guilt, anger, grief, and fear all at the same time.

"...Do you?" Mary asked slowly, feeling regretful. Sam took a deep breath, looking as if he wanted to say something, but didn't. Instead, he walked out of the kitchen without a word.

 

"HAHA! The demon wins again!" Dean cried in victory, grabbing all the Monopoly money from the register and throwing it into the air, allowing it to rain over himself. Castiel watched with an unamused expression.

"I do not like this game. It's too hard." He growled. Dean laughed.

"That's what you get for playing fair." He muttered, taking a sip of his coffee. Cas huffed and rolled his eyes, pulling out some newspaper and putting it onto the table.

"So, earlier I had found a very interesting sounding case- uh..." He scanned the paper, and pointed to an article with a red circle around it. "Multiple teenaged boys from Phoenix, Arizona all killed by a similar cause, choked by their own intestines. All found by the same area, too."

"Okay, so some fucked up serial killer has a thing for guys and choking." Dean shrugged.

"Not exactly..." Cas replied slowly. "All of the teenaged boys had no fingerprints or evidence of an attacker, and had infant done it to themselves."

"Okay, that's our kind of weird." Dean huffed. "I'll tell go Sammy, we can hit the road in a bit."

 

“I don’t care what it's doing for him, Gabriel! I can’t stand by and let my brother get addicted to blood!” 

Sam stood in front of Gabriel with his arms out and open in frustration, whilst he stared at the archangel that was sitting against Sam's drawer in his room. He chuckled a bit to himself, nodding and shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket. 

“Sammy, I know what I’m doing. Dean’s gonna be fine as long as I only give him a healthy amount once a day. Keeping a regular pattern should refrain him from becoming addicted.” He said casually, huffing a bit. “The worst that'll happen is that he's gonna get withdrawals after we turn him back.” 

“Yeah, okay, but what happens if it doesn’t turn out like you planned?” Sam breathed. “Gabriel, why can’t we just turn him, and then you can heal him instantly after?” 

“You think it’s that easy?” Gabriel scoffed. “After purifying his soul, he’d be radioactive for at least a week. I still wouldn’t be able to lay hands on him.” 

Sam opened his mouth to speak, but ended up not saying anything. He scoffed lightly and sat on his bed. Gabriel frowned at him. 

“Look, I get it's not easy, but you wanted me to stop with the memory shit, so this is the next best thing.” He said softly. Sam huffed, shaking his head and looking up at Gabriel. 

“I just want my brother back.” He rasped.  

 

_ “Luci! Show me again, show me the trick!” _

_ Lucifer smirked at his younger brother, chuckling lightly to himself.  _

_ “Okay, one more time.” He said in his silky voice. He leaned down to Gabriel, looking at him closely. “Focus on my eyes.”  _

_ “Mmkay!” Gabriel responded, following his older brothers instructions. He giggled slightly as Lucifer's eyes started glowing red, and let out a gasp as hands behind him grabbed him, lifting him up and falling over with him. He turned around to see a second Lucifer, and started laughing. Lucifer laughed as well, pride glistening in his eyes as he watched his younger brother.  _

 

_ “I can't believe them!” Lucifer cried out in anger, kicking at the ground in frustration. He looked at Gabriel, glaring and huffing. “You’re on my side in this situation, right?!”  _

_ “I… Uh…” Gabriel stuttered, nervous about all the conflict. “Lucifer, I get you don’t like the humans, but you’re taking this really seriously. Maybe you should-”  _

_ “What?! Calm down?! Gabriel, Dad’s asking us to worship creatures that are no better than rhyniognathas!” Lucifer spat. “Are you seriously defending them?!”  _

_ “What!? No! Luci, I’m not on any sides!” Gabriel insisted. Lucifer spun around and shoved him up against the wall, his red eyes burning in anger. Gabriel felt himself trembling. “Lucifer, please! Just stop, this isn’t you!” He coughed. Lucifer's grasp vanished, and Gabriel fell to the floor, panting. Lucifer stared down at him, and then walked away. _

 

“I know the feeling.” Gabriel muttered, looking down at the floor. 

There were footsteps, and Dean walked through the door, looking around until his eyes laid onto Sam. 

“Hey, me and Cas found a case in Phoenix. We should head out in a bit, if you’re up to it.” He stated. Sam shrugged. 

“Uh, sure. Are you gonna be okay?” Sam asked. Dean shrugged and nodded. 

“Of course, yeah.” He said. 

“Great! I’ve always wanted to join a road trip with you fellas.” Gabriel chuckled, standing straight from the drawer he was leaning against. Sam and Dean looked at him. 

“Uh, who said you’re coming with?” Dean growled. Gabriel scoffed. 

“Uh, me. I’m supposed to take care of you and make sure you don't go all demon.” He replied. 

“I have Sam and Cas for that.” Dean retorted. Gabriel rolled his eyes. 

“Trust me, you need me. Right, Sammy?” He looked to Sam- who was watching the conversation go down in silence. He shrugged and nodded. 

“Uh...yeah.” He breathed. 

  
  


Castiel and Gabriel shut the doors of the backseat, huffing and settling into the seats they would be in for hours. Castiel put his seatbelt on, and Gabriel watched curiously, but didn’t say anything. Sam swung open the door of the passenger side, slipping into shotgun as Dean turned on the ignition. 

“Mom said she’d rather not go on a roadtrip with four people, or...rather as she described it, her two sons and their boyfriends, whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean.” He breathed, sipping at an energy drink and buckling in his seat belt. 

“I call Cas.” Dean chuckled, not noticing the way the serifs face burned red at his comment. Sam looked at him nervously. 

“You sure you’re good to drive?” He asked. Dean rolled his eyes. 

“I’m fine, Sam. Demon blood keeping the chest pain at bay, while human blood is keeping empathy at bay. Trust me, I ain't gonna drive off a cliff in attempts to kill everyone.” He laughed hollowly. He drove out of the garage. “So, Cas, where did these teens get ganked?” 

“Each of them were found in front of a restaurant by the name of ‘In N Out’. Four in total found, two at the same time. Their connections are basic, they go to the same school, they're the same age, and they all went to the In N Out." Castiel said this all very quickly, as if he had rehearsed it. Dean chuckled slightly.

"Hey, Sammy we've been there before, right? Damn, the fries are amazing there!" He scoffed. "First thing I'm doing the second we hit Arizona, find one of them. Get a good ass burger with fries."

"Uh... I don't think you can eat fries now, Dean." Sam replied nervously.

"What're you talking about? Course I can!" Dean laughed.

"Uh, no, you can't...fries are salted." Sam stated more sternly. Dean opened his mouth to retort, but soon shut it and huffed in defeat.

"Dammit." He muttered. Sam chuckled a bit.

"This is what you chuckleheads do? Ride in your car for hours while talking in dry conversations?" Gabriel spoke up, scoffing. "Why not take a plane or something? It's much faster."

"Fuck planes." Dean stated quickly. Sam let out a laugh.

"Dean uh...Deans afraid of flying." He said in amusement, laughing as Dean lightly smacked him over the head.

"Seriously!? FLYING!?" Gabriel cackled. "You, the man who spent four earth months in hell, killed countless demons, angels, monsters, you name it, killed even gods, killed the leader of leviathans, spent a year in Purgatory, wore the mark of Cain, killed a Knight of Hell, KILLED DEATH HIMSELF, gained the affection of Gods sister, and still keeps running for the next best thing!? The man who stopped multiple apocalypses, is afraid of FLYING!?"

"Oh stop it, Gabe, you flatter me...making me sound more badass than Chuck Norris." Dean scoffed dramatically.

"You WERE more badass, until I learned you're afraid of FLYING!" Gabriel laughed.

"Maybe now I can mention that Sammy is afraid of clowns?" Dean replied snidely.

"I- wh- I AM NOT!" Sam yelled. "Not anymore!"

"Dude," Dean chuckled. "You totally are."

 

...

 

"Ah man, Cas, remember Purgatory?"

Sam stirred into awareness at his brother's voice. He had fallen asleep, and he was facing the window. He didn't move at all, but he did look out the window. The moon was high up in the sky, and the stars were scattered everywhere. Soft rock was playing on the station, but it was mixed with snoring coming from Gabriel- who decided to try out sleep.

"Of course I remember, Dean. It was treacherous, for the both of us..." Castiel breathed.

"Yeah, true...but besides the constant bloodshed...it was nice. Benny was always fantastic, cracking jokes occasionally when we weren't piped up on adrenaline." Dean laughed. "Man...I miss Benny. You and him bickered constantly, but we felt like a family, yknow?"

"I agree, the three of us were...close...due to the state of things." Cas said with a hint of bitterness- which apparently flew right over Dean's head.

"Yeah...Benny was something...hell, he was my first kiss I shared with a dude."

Sam refrained from sitting right up in shock. He stayed still, pretending to sleep, knowing that way he'd get context.

"I don't think I was in my right mind, of course. Kissing a vamp?" Dean scoffed, shaking his head.  "That's the easiest way to get turned...but hell, I'm a sucker for pretty blue eyes...especially ones that understand me, but don't give me worthless pity." He sighed a bit, and then coughed nervously. "But, y'know... I'm not gay or anything."

"So you've told me, Dean." Cas stated flatly.

"Yeah, I've only kissed two guys before!" Dean scoffed. "Well- er- slept with one...once. But that- that didn't count."

This time, Sam accidentally kicked at the floor as he flinched in surprise. Every part in him screamed a prayer in hopes Dean didn't notice, but he felt a familiar hand smack him gently.

"Hey! You eavesdropping?" Dean growled. Sam sat up, nervously looking at his brother as he attempted to come up with an explanation. "Don't answer." Dean stated before Sam could open his mouth.

Sam sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, looking at Dean in interest.

"So...who was it?" He finally asked.

"Who was what?" Dean replied in a vague tone.

"Don't act like you don't know." Sam scoffed. Dean huffed at stared at the road.

"I think I'm gotta find a motel nearby. We're damn near Phoenix, might as well check in." Dean stated absentmindedly.

"Dude, c'mon. Don't change the subject." Sam scoffed. Dean scowled.

"Okay, fine! Fine! It...it was Crowley, okay!?" Dean exclaimed, his face turning red. Sam let out a chuckle in disbelief.

"Crowley!? Crowley. King Of Hell Crowley? Our Crowley?" He stuttered.

"Yes! Crowley! It was back when I was a Knight and I ran away. One of those days, I got piss drunk, and he managed to take advantage of me!" Dean spat.

"Wow...that is an image I will spend centuries trying to scrape out of my eyes." Sam laughed in shock.

"Yeah, well, I spent some girls lunch break in his bed the day after, in attempts to show it didn't mean shit." Dean replied bitterly. "I'm straight as a hanger."

Sam eyed Dean with his eyebrows raised, and opened the glove box of the car. He pulled out a coat hanger that they kept there for lock pick emergencies. Staring Dean straight in the eye, he bent it harshly. He then handed it to Dean.

"That's you, Mr. Coat Hanger."


	8. Pudding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What...the hell...is that.” Dean growled, pointing to the cat.
> 
> It was hairless, not a single fur in sight. Its skin was a purple/blue color, which was wrinkled quite a lot, and its eyes were bright green. It's tail was like a rat's- very long and skinny, and its ears looked too big for its head.
> 
> “This is Pudding!” The employee smiled.
> 
> “Why is it naked?” Dean spat, narrowing his eyes.
> 
> “Oh- it's a sphynx cat!” Sam exclaimed. “They're hairless, and they're actually supposed to be really smart. They're great if you're allergic to cats, and they don't even smell!”
> 
> “It looks like it crawled out of Purgatory's asshole!” Dean hissed. Sam scoffed a little bit in amusement, and Pudding narrowed his eyes.   
> \-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
> Sam does his job. Gabriel is rather quiet. Cas explores the wonders of cats. Crowley's a dick. Dean is conflicted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!! I'm so sorry this plot is really goddamn slow but it's getting somewhere I sWEAR.

"Mornin, everyone!"

"Dean, please put some pants on."

The scene was simple- for the Winchesters, at least. Dean had walked into the room casually with an extra large T shirt he made once as a joke(it read 'Porn Guy' with a backwards R), something that was was big enough to be a short dress. He was wearing no pants, or underwear, for that matter...

Sam was avoiding looking at his brother in general, and had in fact buried his nose into his dad's journal to pretend he was researching and not doing his damn best to refrain from his eyes burning from the sight of his brothers junk. Yeah, he'd seen it before, they're brothers so of course, but that's just sick.

Castiel seemed to follow Sam's lead. It was poorly done, considering he was pretending to read a Pizza Hut menu that was upside-down, and his eyes were occasionally peeking over the top- even when there was nothing visible. He was trying his best, and that's all that mattered.

Gabriel was doing all he could to not burst out laughing.

"Yeah, Kenny, mind putting on some pants so I can give you your shot without awkwardness?" He scoffed. Dean huffed and rolled his eyes, walking back into the bathroom, muttering curse words. Gabriel looked at Sam. "Demons, amiright? Wanna rock out with their cock out till they get their dosage of human juice."

"Everything about that sentence is majorly disturbing, even without the context of that being my brother." Sam replied aggressively, rolling his eyes and flipping through the old pages of the journal he had read many times. Eventually, Dean walked back into the room wearing some jeans, scowling. He sat down on the arm of the couch that was next to Gabriel, acting as if he was some immature child getting a vaccine. Gabe snapped his fingers, spawning a needle that was already filled with blood.

"Where'd you get that?" Sam asked, confused.

"I have a stash back at the bunker. I just spawn em in from here." Gabriel responded casually, grabbing Dean's arm. Sam cringed away slightly.

It wasn't the memory of healing his brother that haunted him. The images of him tying the struggling demon down and forcefully injecting him while he just kept spitting foul words about how his birth is the reason he's so fucked up. No, it was the fact Sam was still terrified for his brother. Demon blood or human blood, it's addictive, and Sam knew it far too well.

It had been years since his lips touched the substance, but demon blood still haunted him. He no longer craved it, yes, but the memories of what it made him into still terrified him.

"AaaGGHH!"

Deans cry in pain snapped Sam out of his thought process, and he whipped around to see his brother gritting his teeth in agony.

"Dean!?" Sam yelped, standing up in alarm. He felt Gabriel pat his leg in comfort.

"Don't worry, it only hurts for a second. He's fine." The archangel reassured. Sam quickly noticed Castiel was actually by Dean's side in panic as well, already grabbing his hand. Dean quickly recovered, panting, and blinking open his eyes- which were pitch black until he blinked again. He stood up, pretending as if nothing happened.

"'M gonna cook some breakfast. Anyone want some eggs?"

"Dean, you realize you won't be able to salt your eggs like how you do." Sam replied, scoffing a bit in amusement. Dean narrowed his eyes at him.

"Nevermind. Bacon?"

"Sure."

"Hell yeah." Gabriel nodded.

"I do not need to eat, as you are aware. Bacon will just taste like molecules to me." Cas stated in his normal monotone voice.

"Loser." Gabriel stage whispered to Sam, pointing at Castiel- who scowled at him.

"Bacon it is- AGH FUCK-"

Dean had grabbed a pan from the cabinet of the motel, and instantly yelped in pain and dropped it, holding his hand.

"Iron handle, Dean." Sam chuckled. "Are all these weaknesses just now suddenly making you think?"

"Well, in the bunker, when you all allowed me to cook, we had steel pans." Dean growled, holding his hand and rubbing at it, pouting.

"Why don't I just cook for us?" Sam offered reluctantly.

"No, no. I got this." Dean replied in a very determined voice. He opened a cabinet, searching. "Aha!" He cried, pulling out two rubber gloves. He put them on, and grabbed the pan off the floor. Once he realized it didn't burn him, he looked at Sam with the cheesiest grin. "Told ya!"

"Wow, you are REALLY determined to cook breakfast." Sam laughed. Dean nodded.

"You have no idea."

  
  


After everyone had finished eating bacon, Sam had gone out jogging and what not as normal, while Cas, Dean, and Gabriel watched a movie. It was still early, and they decided they would go to parents after the high school got out and interview them about their kids. They had plenty of time to kill.

During the movie, Dean got up to go wash his face- which was normal for him to do, especially if he felt greasy after eating popcorn or something. It was a habit.

Dean was drying his face off with a towel, and he looked in the mirror.

His eyes were black, which stunned him a bit. There were a few occasions Dean didn't have control over his eyes- when uncontrollably angry, when in serious pain, when intimidated by holy power, and when being injected with human blood. Besides those occasions, he had control over them, and usually used them as a scare tactic or for fun.

He blinked, and they disappeared. He could feel his heart pounding.

_ "What are you? A demon?" _

Dean felt his eyes go black again as the memory flickered in his mind, and he gripped onto the sink in panic.

_ "Maybe you're human." _

Dean felt himself trembling, gritting his teeth as his eyes locked with his reflections.

Being a demon wasn't something that just made you instantly evil. It's a battle in yourself. It's like going insane, but still being stuck there violently trying to grip onto your humanity as darkness wrestles it away. You keep fighting, and fighting, and fighting, until you don't realize the humanity is gone, because you've forgotten it's existed. You've forgotten, because you've been fighting for so long. So you keep fighting, you don't know what it's for, you don't know why. You just know there's a fire within you that won't go out, and it keeps building, until-

**_"PICK A BLOODY SIDE!"_ **

Dean smacked a glass cup that was holding some toothbrushes- causing it to fall to the ground and shatter- the sound shaking Dean back into real life.

"Dean!? Is everything alright?" Cas called from the couch. Dean drew in a shaky breath.

"Yeah, everything's alright. Just dropped a thing." He replied casually, leaning down to clean up the glass.

  
  
  


“Did Dylan have any enemies? Someone who'd possibly want to harm him or do him wrong?” 

Sam and Dean had already interviewed the parents of the most recent death, and now they were talking to a group of kids who claimed to know him. 

“Not that I know of…” a sophomore boy answered. Next to him, his girlfriend rolled her eyes. 

“Dylan and his friends were kinda the type of kids to find a punchline in everything, honestly. His mom kinda spoiled him, so he thought he was invincible.” She breathed, crossing her arms. “They liked to tease the kids who were already vulnerable.” 

“Do you...know any of these kids…?” Sam asked reluctantly. 

“Well, there is Temere Bone, but she's kinda a freak…” the girl laughed. “She basically has it coming.” 

“What do you mean by that?” Dean growled, surprising Sam. 

“Er- well…she's weird. And quiet.” The boy spoke. “She has blue hair. And she always wears this Pokémon hat, like everyday.” 

“Yeah! She doesn't even do her school work, she just draws.” 

“Draws what kinda things?” Sam asked, tiling his head. The girl bit her lip. 

“Weird stuff...like usually cartoons and stuff, yknow? But sometimes she draws these demonic looking signs...once, I saw her slip one into the backpack of Jay Signs.” She said eyes darting to the boy and back to Sam. “That night, he broke his collarbone during football practice, even with the protective padding.” 

“Oh please! That was just a coincidence!” The boy laughed. “Temere is always doing weird shit. I once heard her talking about D&D with the people she sits with at lunch.” 

 

“So? Witch?” Sam asked as they left the park. 

“Definitely. And we’ve got a good suspect.” Dean replied, starting up the car. “I say we head to In N Out and talk to the employees, see what they know before we run off ganking someone who sounds like she's a 16 year old nerd.” 

“You just want to go there for the food.” Sam scoffed. 

“Shut up.” Dean replied, hiding a smirk. 

 

“Yeah, I found three of the bodies...still can't sleep.” The employee shuttered, crossing her arms. “The most recent was found by some pedestrian.” 

“Did you see anyone by the bodies?” Sam asked. The girl shook her head. “Any cold spots maybe, then? Perhaps lights flickering?” 

“No...but at each crime scene, Pudding was there.” 

“P..Pudding…?” Dean asked, choking on his burger. 

“Yup! Oh- not like the food, pudding. It's what we call the local stray cat. He eats the scraps from the trash bin here.” The employee said. “He's really friendly. I can show you him, if you'd like!” 

“Oh, that sounds great!” Sam replied, nodding. Dean gave him a betrayed and confused look, to which Sam ignored it. 

The two walked outside with the girl, who strode into the alley way. She tapped the garbage bin. 

Almost instantly, a very slender and smooth creature jumped out, letting out a meow and rubbing its head against her palm. 

“What...the hell...is  _ that.”  _ Dean growled, pointing to the cat. 

It was hairless, not a single fur in sight. Its skin was a purple/blue color, which was wrinkled quite a lot, and its eyes were bright green. It's tail was like a rat's- very long and skinny, and its ears looked too big for its head. 

“This is Pudding!” The employee smiled. 

“Why is it naked?” Dean spat, narrowing his eyes. 

“Oh- it's a sphynx cat!” Sam exclaimed. “They're hairless, and they're actually supposed to be really smart. They're great if you're allergic to cats, and they don't even smell!” 

“It looks like it crawled out of Purgatory's asshole!” Dean hissed. Sam scoffed a little bit in amusement, and Pudding narrowed his eyes. 

“I've got to get back to my shift, my breaks over.” The employee suddenly said, walking away. “I hope I helped!” 

“Thank you for your time!” Sam replied. He then looked at Pudding, and carefully walked up to him. “Hey there, buddy…” 

“What the hell are you doing…?” Dean growled. Sam looked at Dean. 

“Dean, he's been to every crime scene.” He said in a hinting tone. 

“I don't...oh no.” Dean scowled and firmly pointed at Sam. “No. We’re not doing that. And we’re not letting that thing in the car.” 

“Dean, he could tell us every detail! Look, I'll do the mind melding this time, and-” 

“No, you won't.” 

Both Sam and Dean flinched as Gabriel's voice appeared, along with his physical self. He chuckled as the two humans stared at him with shock. “What? Didja forget I was tailing you invisibly?” 

“Why can't I?” Sam asked, ignoring Gabriel's question. The Archangel shrugged. 

“You're the sane human brother. We need you to be functioning perfectly in case Mr. Twisty loses it.” He replied. “And it won't work on angels, by the way.” 

“I hate all of you.” Dean growled. 

  
  


The ride home with the cat wasn’t too bad, all things considered. The cat stayed relatively quiet. Dean nearly threw him out the window the second he climbed on him, of course, but stayed calm and simply allowed it to happen. He would never admit that he actually found the experience comforting. 

 

“We can do the procedure tomorrow. I’m going to sleep.” Sam yawned once they returned to the hotel room. Dean huffed and nodded, while Castiel held the cat casually. He walked over to Dean's bed, taking a seat and staring at the creature curiously. Dean sat down on the bed as well to take off his shoes, and heard the angel suddenly gasp gently. 

“Dean, it’s vibrating.” He stated, a hint of panic in his voice. “What do I do?” 

“It’s purring, Cas.” Dean chuckled. “It means he likes you.” 

“Oh, that's flattering.” Cas said, sighing in relief. “I like you too, Pudding the feline.” 

 

Soon, everyone went to bed- or just sat quietly, as Cas put it. Gabriel was watching some game show on Sam’s laptop, headphones plugged in. However, Dean simply couldn’t fall asleep, whether it was the fact that the human blood was wearing off, or how each time he closed his eyes he could hear screams of pain or grief that he caused when he was a demon the first time. 

Eventually, tired of the noise in his head, Dean got up to wash his face and clear his mind. He walked into the bathroom, shut the door, and turned around. 

“Hello, Squirrel.” 

Dean flinched intensely as he suddenly saw Crowley, who was smirking at him. Dean narrowed his eyes. 

“The hell are you doing here?!” He whispered, afraid of awaking Sam or alerting the two angels. Crowley shrugged. 

“I wanted to stop in and check on my bestie.” He cooed. He then cocked his head a little, narrowing his eyes and looking Dean up and down. “What's wrong with you…?” 

“You’re one to ask.” Dean spat. 

“No, no. I mean what's up with your soul, mate? You…” Crowley trailed off, then scowled at the taller demon. “You’re on human blood.” 

“Yeah? And?” Dean growled. 

“Do I need to sit you down like a child and tell you drugs are bad?” Crowley snarled. “Might I remind you I myself got addicted to that stuff, so I recommend you stop-” 

“Gabriel's making me do it, and it’s a healthy dose once a day.” Dean interrupted. “I’ll be fine, so keep your rotten nose out of my own goddamn business.” 

“Ouch, Squirrel. Did you forget I’m the one who raised you from death?” Crowley stated in a sickly sweet tone. 

“Little late to that contest, cock monkey.” Dean retorted. Crowley huffed. 

“Look, I know things have been rocky for you, but I can help.” He said earnestly. “I can teleport us outta here, and we can go howl at the moon, like old times! The two chicken wings and the Moose won’t even be able to find us.” 

Dean went quiet, thinking to himself. Half of him screamed to go with him, to finally escape and be who he was supposed to be; a monster. However the other half insisted that he stayed. He wasn’t a demon...he was a hunter. A Winchester. He belonged with Sammy...He belonged with Cas. 

“I’m good, thanks.” Dean growled his answer finally, huffing and exiting the bathroom and leaving behind a stunned King.


	9. A Good Day For A Cat Nap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Okay, awesome. So we wait until schools out, then we go track the witch.” Dean said to Sam, who nodded.
> 
> “Sounds good.” He said, and accidentally dropped the pencil.
> 
> Next thing Dean knew, he was on the table batting at the pencil, grabbing it loosely and then falling off the surface and onto the floor. Gabriel started laughing again, and Sam stared at him in shock. Dean looked at the pencil in his hand.
> 
> “Shit.” 
> 
> \-----------------------------------------------------
> 
> Dean mind melds with a cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY SHIT SO!!! HI GUYS IM SO SORRY FOR NOT POSTING FOR LIKE A MONTH LMFAO. I've actually been working on this a lot, and tbh this chapter is twice as long as normal. I'm trying to plan the rest of the plot of this, and knowing SPN and how much lore goes into it, that means research. Lots of it.

_ “Lucifer, you’re my brother and I love you...but you are a great big bag of dicks.”  _

_ Gabriel held out his sword in a warning stance, eyeing his older brother down. Lucifer stared back, acting as if he wasn’t covered in the blood of humans.  _

_ “What’d you just say to me?” Lucifer replied in a mocking, silvery tone.  _

_ “Look at yourself!” Gabriel spat. “Oh boo hoo! Daddy was mean to me, so I’m gonna smash up all his toys!”  _

_ “Watch your tone,” Lucifer purred.  _

_ “You can play the victim all you want. But you and me?” Gabriel chuckled. “We know the truth. Dad loved you best. More than Michael, more than me.” He scoffed. “Then he brought the new baby home and you couldn’t handle it. So, all this is just one big temper tantrum! Time to grow up.”  _

_ Lucifer stared down at his little brother, scowling.  _

_ “Gabriel, if you’re doing this for Michael,”  _

_ “Screw him!” Gabriel interrupted. “If he were standing here I’d shive his ass too!”  _

_ Lucifer breathed out a laugh in disbelief, nodding.  _

_ “You disloyal little…”  _

_ “Oh, I’m loyal!” Gabriel interrupted once again. “To them!”  _

_ “Who?” Lucifer growled. “To these so called Gods?!”  _

_ “To people, Lucifer.” Gabriel spat. “People.”  _

_ “So you’re willing to die...for a pile of cockroaches. Why?” Lucifer asked in a silver laced tone.  _

_ “Because Dad was right.” Growled Gabriel. “They are better than us.”  _

_ “They are broken! Flawed! Abortions!” Lucifer spat, getting more and more angry.  _

_ “Damn right they’re flawed!” Gabriel scoffed. “But y’know, a lot of them try...to do better.” Gabriel laughed. “To forgive.” Lucifer stared at Gabriel, who smirked. “And you should see the spearmint rhino. I’ve been riding the pine for a loooong time. But I’m in the game now. And I’m not on your side, or Michaels.”  _

_ Lucifer gazed at his younger brother, and for a moment, Gabriel felt a twinge of hope tug at himself. Maybe he wouldn’t have to stab his brother in the back...Maybe he could drop the blade he was holding, and get rid of the double talking to his older brother, finally being able to embrace him in his real arms.  _

_ “I’m on theirs.” Gabriel stated proudly. Lucifer looked down and shook his head.  _

_ “Brother...don’t make me do this…” He whispered, showing sadness for the first time in what was forever.  _

_ “No one makes us do anything.” Gabriel replied, guilt tugging at himself as he snuck up behind his brother.  _

_ “I know you think you’re doing the right thing, Gabriel.” Lucifer rasped. “But I know where your heart truly lies…”  _

_ Gabriel was close, so close to his older brother as he held up his sword, getting ready to stab as hard as he could.  _

_ Suddenly, Lucifer spun around, grabbing Gabe by the wrist and slamming the blade into his gut, Gabriel unable to gasp in surprise from the pain of the sword stabbing into him. His eyes stretched out wide in horror and fear and betrayal as he looked at his older brother.  _

 

_ “Luci̷! S͝how ҉m͘e a̸g̛ain͞,̷ ̴sho̷w m͟e th͡e t̸ric̷k!” _

_ ҉Luci̛fe͝r̸ ̧smir͜ked ̡at̴ his̸ ̵y͞ou͏nger͡ b̢rot͜her,̷ c҉h͞u͟ckl͟iņg͝ ͏l̛ightly̴ t̵o ḩim̷s͟e͜l͠f.̵ ̡ _

_ ̢“̧Ok̴a̧y҉,͠ ͘one͞ m̴o̶r̶e ͝t͘i̧me.”͢ Hę sa͏id̶ i̶n͢ his ͟s̶i͜lky̕ v͝oi͟çe͝. H͡e̕ ͏le͟a͢ned̛ down t̵o͞ ͝Gabŗie̷l, loơk͜i҉ng at ̕hi͜m ̕c͢lose̸l̸y. ͜“҉Focu̴s on ҉m͢y͟ ey̛e̢s͘.̸” _

_ “͘Mmk̸ay!” Gabr͏iel ̡re̛s͘p͞on̴d̵e͠d,͜ f̛o͏llowi̸ng͠ his͜ o͞lder̴ b̵ro͢th͡ers in҉str҉u҉ctio̡ns. ̷H̨ę g̨ig͡ględ ̶sl͠ight̶l͢y̕ ̡a͝s Lu͟ci͏f̡e͢r's e̷y̷ȩs̸ ̸sta̷rt̨ed͡ ͞gl̶o͝wi͜ng r̵ed҉, and ͢l̛et out a ͟gaşp ͢a͠s͜ ha̷n҉d̡s̷ be͟h̴ind ͜h̨im ̷g̶r̨a̛bbed him,͞ lif͡t͝i̛ng h͞im̶ ̕up̛ ͝an͝d f̷a̶l͝li҉ng o͢ver̸ ͘w҉ith h͢im.͘ He̢ ̴turņe͜d̨ a̡rou̕nd ̴t҉o ͡s͝e̵e͝ ̸a͞ ̧second ̨Lu҉c͟ifer̨, and҉ ̷st̛art͡ed͢ ͏lau͞g̢h̶įng. ̷L͢ucifer ̨laughed aş w͡e̕l͘l̛, pr͟i͞de ̷g͠listen͞ing i͘n h̡i͠s҉ ͜e͘yes as̛ he͟ watc͞he̵d h̸įs youn̢g͡er̵ ̶br͜ot̴he҉r. _

 

_ “Here.” Lucifer breathed. He gripped his dying brother by the face. “Amature hocus pocus. Don’t forget.” He held his brother, who gagged and sputtered, trying to push Lucifer away, his eyes filling with tears as the man who raised him held him to die. “You learned all your tricks from me.”  _

_ Lucifer ripped the blade upwards, and Gabriel let out a screech, his soul being torn apart. Everything was being ripped into pieces, shattered.  _

_ The last thing he saw was regret flash through Lucifer's eyes, before everything went white.  _

 

...

 

Sam woke up, stretching and yawning as he gazed around. He could see Dean, asleep in his bed in what looked like a restless position. Sam had to cover his mouth when he realized Pudding, the cat, was curled up against the demons head. He quickly pulled out his phone, taking a picture and sending it to Mary. 

 

Sam: We’re using a cat for a case, and I think it likes Dean. Luckily it’s hairless so he's not even allergic. 

Mary: Oh, how cute!! When Dean was three, he loved cats, but we couldn’t get one because he was allergic. Maybe we should keep it, haha! 

Sam: Haha maybe, not sure how Dean would react, though. 

 

Sam sighed and looked at his phone. Reluctantly, he typed. 

 

Sam: How’re you doing? 

Mary: Oh, good. It’s quiet, of course, but I like it. I feel like I deserve a break after the recent few weeks we’ve had.

Mary: How’s Dean holding up? 

Sam: Surprisingly great, actually. He’s pretty moody, of course, but he’s not murdering. 

Mary: That's good. 

 

Soon, Dean groaned, finally waking up. Coincidentally, Gabriel walked through the door, sipping at some coffee. 

“Morning men and angels!” He greeted. Dean gave a snort of displeasure and sat up, surprised when the cat moved from the now empty spot and curled up on the demons lap. Sam was slightly shocked when Dean didn’t get mad, and instead scratched him behind the ear a bit, scowling. 

“Where’d you go?” Sam turned to face Gabriel, who shrugged.

“Went to clear my mind.” He stated casually, sipping at the coffee. 

“What does the Trickster have to clear his mind about?” Sam snorted in disbelief. Gabriel scowled and stayed quiet. 

“Wheres Cas?” Dean asked in a drowsy voice. Gabriels eyes darted around the room. 

“Uh...I don't know...I told him to stay here with you…” He replied cautiously. Dean narrowed his eyes a bit. 

 

Cas finally showed up a few minutes after Gabriel gave Dean his blood shot. The angel walked through the doorway, arms filled with shopping bags. He walked over to the coffee table and set them down. 

“Where the hell were you?” Gabriel asked in a rather angry voice. Cas looked at him in slight alarm. 

“...I bought things for the feline.” He finally replied, digging into the bag. He took out a ball with a bell in it, a toy mouse, a stick with a string attached to it along with a feather at the end, a leash, a litter box, and a bag of cat food. 

“We aren’t keeping it, y’know.” Dean growled, looking away from the breakfast he was preparing. 

“I don’t know, Dean.” Sam laughed. “You seem to like him a lot.” 

Dean scowled at Sam, pretending the cat wasn’t sitting on his shoulder while he cooked some bacon. 

  
  
  


“So the cat doesn’t have any fur... we need a different way to do this.” Sam stated as he looked at the potion. “You think a whisker would work?”

“Let’s give it a shot.” Dean shrugged, crossing his arms as he sat in his chair. The cat was sitting in his lap. 

“C’mere, Pudding.” Sam said in something that was almost a baby voice, making kissy noises as he called the cat over. Pudding walked up to him, sniffing curiously at his hand, and then hissed when Sam plucked out a whisker. He batted his hand, scratching him. 

“OW! Hey hey hey alright sorry!” Sam yelped, flinching back. Dean laughed a bit as he watched his brother get mauled by a cat. Once Pudding calmed down, Sam put the whisker in the potion.

_ “Deila hér me. Dag eru nou rar vitur orðum.” _ He chanted, watching the whisker sizzle into the liquid. He handed the cup to Dean, who scowled at it. 

“Well, if I start hacking up furballs, don’t record it.” He stated, frowning. He quickly drank the solution, smacking his lips and sticking out his tongue in displeasure after he finished. “That shits still nasty.”  

“Alright, so it usually takes time to work, right?” Sam asked, looking at the empty cup. 

“Last time it did.” Dean replied. 

“Stupid mouse-brained piece of fox-dung, doesn’t understand how badly ripping out a whisker hurts.” Said a voice. Dean looked at Pudding, who was staring at Sam in anger and flickering his tail. 

“D...did you say that…?” He stuttered. 

“Wait- i-is it working? Already?” Sam asked hopefully. 

“Shut up I’m trying to talk.” Dean growled. Pudding looked at him, and tilted his head. 

“Ah, so that's what that thing was, a potion or something. The twoleg who used to own me was a witch, y’know, but I ran away after he tried using me for a potion. A buncha hunters got him afterwards, it was pretty lucky karma.” 

“Uh, that sounds awful I’m sorry…” Dean replied awkwardly. “Did you see the recent murders that’ve happened?” 

“Oh, you mean the ones with the twoleg kits cutting out their intestines? Yeah, I saw those. Nasty murders, they were...A witch did that too. I seem to have bad luck with witches.” Pudding yawned a bit. 

Dean figured ‘twoleg’ meant ‘human’. 

“Can you tell me about the witch? Y’know, what they look like, where they might be, all that good stuff?” Dean asked, putting on a nervous smile. 

“Yeah sure, but only after you whack your tall friend in the head. No mercy, either. You don’t know how much whiskers hurt to be torn out, they have nerves in em, y’know!” 

Dean looked at Sam, who looked at him expectantly. Dean stood up from his chair, and harshly whacked his brother in the back of the head. Gabriel, who was pretending to read a book as he sat on Sam's bed, burst out laughing. 

“OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?” Sam yelped. Dean sat back down and pointed at Pudding. 

“He told me to do it.” He said. “Whiskers have nerves in them.”

“Oh...Uh...Sorry…?” Sam whimpered. 

“He said sorry.” Dean repeated to the cat. 

“I know.” Pudding purred in amusement. “Anyways, so the witch doing all this gross murdering is some kit with blue fur on her head and a weird yellow hat. I think one of the boys called her something like ‘Temere’ or whatever.” 

“Nerd girl is our girl.” Dean stated to Sam, who sighed and nodded. 

“Got it. We should plan how to track her down.” He stated, fidgeting with a pencil in his hand and nodding. “And then figure out what to do with her.” 

“I have her scent, y’know.” Pudding stated. Dean raised an eyebrow. 

“Cats cat track scents…?” He asked. 

“Duh! Dogs are overrated. We can track scents with ease, hear well, too.” The cat replied bitterly. 

“Okay, awesome. So we wait until schools out, then we go track the witch.” Dean said to Sam, who nodded. 

“Sounds good.” He said, and accidentally dropped the pencil. 

Next thing Dean knew, he was on the table batting at the pencil, grabbing it loosely and then falling off the surface and onto the floor. Gabriel started laughing again, and Sam stared at him in shock. Dean looked at the pencil in his hand. 

“Shit.” 

 

“So, I'm thinking corner her and interrogate her, figure out her reason.” Sam said about an hour later, thinking out loud. “Problem is, she's probably really strong if she can force kids to rip their intestines out, so I'm not sure if we'll even have the option of mercy…” 

“Mmhmm.” Dean answered from the floor. He had previously leaned down to pick up a book he dropped, but he had yet to stand back up, and instead was sprawled out on the motel carpet. 

“Uh...Dean.” Sam stated cautiously, “What're you doing…?” 

“The sunlight from the window feels good.” Dean groaned pleasurably. Sam scoffed a bit in both amusement and disbelief, and the door suddenly opened up, revealing Cas with a small box. Both Dean and Pudding sat up right away in caution, and watched the angel enter in the room. 

“Where were you?” Gabriel asked, shutting the laptop he was using. Castiel put the box on the table and looked at him. 

“While everyone was interrogating the cat, I managed to do research on things cats like. I found out about some herb called catnip…” he said, opening the boy and tilting his head at the spice inside. “Not sure what it does, however.” 

“How's that angel walking around with big ol wings like that?” Pudding asked, tilting his head. Dean looked at him, shocked. 

“You can see his wings?” He asked quietly. Pudding nodded. 

“You will too, soon. Cats can detect lots of stuff like this.” He replied casually. He sniffed at the air, and perked up. “Oh wow, d’you smell that?” 

Dean, in fact, could smell it. Strong smell of mint, and it was very luring. Pudding walked over in curiosity. Dean watched as Cas lifted a small branch of violet flowers and put it at Puddings feet, who sniffed at it. After about a second, Pudding had grabbed the branch between his teeth and scattered off the table in a sudden fit of uncontainable energy, climbing up the extremely tall Sam within two seconds flat- then bouncing off the top of his head and bolting under Dean's bed. The two angels and Sam were quiet with shock for a few seconds, and Dean started to walk over to see the herb. 

“Wait- I don't think we should-” 

Before Sam could finish, poor and innocent Cas had handed Dean a branch of catnip; who hesitantly smelt it out of curiosity. Out of worry, Sam ran over and attempted to pry it out of his brothers hands. 

Unfortunately, Sam ended up being suplexed by his older and smaller brother- being flipped onto his bed with ease. Dean grinned widely and panted, his gaze flickering to each person in the room. 

“I wanna go racing. Anyone wanna race me to the park? It's only a mile away I think. I'm gonna go run to the park, dare you to beat me!” 

Dean had charged at the door, but was held back by two powerful angels and his older brother. 

“Heyheyhey- Dean- okay, buddy, calm down.” Sam breathed, struggling. “Hey- uh...l-lets go to the motels exercise room! You know they always have those, you like making fun of them! Let's go run on the treadmills!” 

Dean stopped fidgeting in Sam's arms, and looked at him with excitement. 

“OH HELL YEAH! AWESOME! LET'S GO!” 

Before Sam could respond, Dean ripped his way out of his brother's grasp and bolted out the door, to which Sam followed quickly. 

Sam ended up panting, out of breath in the exercise room, looking at Cas desperately. 

“How long does this stuff last?” He whimpered. Cas was looking at the laptop nervously. 

“About ten minutes...they also said that smelling it gives them an energetic effect, however chewing on it sedates them...so perhaps we should let him chew on it.” He replied. Sam looked at Cas nervously, and got up, walking over to his brother- who was nearly causing the yoga ball to pop. He took out the catnip branch and shoved it into Dean's face. 

“Dontsniffitjustchewit.” He said quickly, already shoving it into his brother's mouth. Dean chewed on it, still energetic. 

“I doubt it's automatic.” Gabriel scoffed, crossing his arms. 

“Whaphs automafic?” Dean muffled through the herb. 

“Nothing, go back to being an idiot.” Sam said, avoiding his brother's gaze. 

“I'm not an idio- HOLY FUFK!” 

Sam looked over to see Dean on top Cas, a toy mouse in his mouth. Cas stared up at Dean in shock, his hands still in the position they were in when he was holding the toy out of curiosity for what Dean would do. 

Having trouble chewing on both the toy and the herb, Dean dropped the toy and just held it in his hands. He continued to sit on Cas, until everything suddenly seemed to work as clockwork as his eyes drooped and he collapsed onto Cas, laughing drowsily. 

“Well, it works.” Gabriel scoffed, chuckling as he watched his younger brother struggle with the man he liked completely and utterly high. 

“This lasts ten minutes too, right?” Sam asked, and Cas grunted, nodding. 

“Yes, it does.” He groaned, managing to wrap his arms around Dean and hold him, standing onto his legs and now carrying the man bigger than him. 

“You got him?” Sam raised his eyebrows in shock, rather impressed. Cas nodded, struggling a bit. 

“I flew him out of the depths of hell. I can carry him back to the motel room.” He grunted spitefully, following Sam and Gabriel out the door. 

They arrived back at the room, Pudding casually laying on Sam's bed, chewing the catnip he had gotten. Sam took it away from the drowsy sphinx, sighing and putting the branch back into the box along with Deans. Cas attempted to lay the drowsy demon onto the bed, but gasped in surprise as Dean grabbed him and pulled him onto the bed as well. 

“You're comfy. Don't leave.” He growled, latching onto Cas- who went red in the face. Gabriel attempted to stifle a laugh, and Sam raised his eyebrows in amusement. 

“I...alright…” Cas whimpered, unsure of how to handle the situation. Dean grinned and tried to reach out for something invisible on Castiel's back. 

“You have pretty wings…” he said, grinning. Sam tilted his head. 

“He can see your wings now?” 

“Cats have a very accurate and strong sense of vision.” Cas replied. “They would be able to see wings of angels.” 

“I like your wings…” Dean chuckled distantly. “They're a bit broken up, but they're all black and soft looking…” Dean looked to Gabriel curiously, and raised his eyebrows. “Wow, you really do have three pairs of wings…Yours are gold...and dinged up.” 

“Wait, what does he mean?” Sam asked Gabriel hesitantly, who scoffed. 

“The kids high off his ass, he doesn't know what he's saying.” He shrugged. Sam raised his eyebrows. 

“Dean isn't hallucinating.” Cas muttered. Gabriel eyed him with a betrayed glare, scowling. 

“Gabriel...why're your wings damaged?” Sam asked nervously. “You were just brought back, they should be good as new!” 

“You think saving a demon from being absolutely dead is easy?” Gabriel laughed. “I had to pry your soul out of heaven and piece you back together, while saving your brothers ass at the same goddamn time! So excuse me if I'm a bit messed up after, because in case you didn't know, that takes mojo, baby! Lots of it!” He spat, getting rather defensive. “And touching a demon soul is like placing a hand inside fire!” 

“Okay, okay...got it.” Sam held his hands up slightly in defense, backing away. He sighed and thought to himself, and opened his mouth to speak until Dean started rambling again. 

“Caasss...It isn't goddamn fair I can't see your wings all the time...I like them. Humans should be allowed to see angel wings.” Dean slurred, pouting. “Stop folding them, too.” 

“I am laying down, and I would rather not end up knocking something over with them.” Cas replied nervously. Dean rolled his eyes and smiled. 

“You're lucky you're really goddamn cute…” 

Sam couldn't help but smile at the two of them. Dean was Dean, meaning he was rarely happy. It meant he was terrified of relationships, and drowned himself in women to hide that and the fact that he likes men as well. He doesn't believe he likes men, he's in denial, but Sam knows Dean, and Dean had been burying his sexuality since he heard their father use ‘gay’ as an insult. 

After about ten seconds, Cas fidgeted a bit. 

“He...he fell asleep.” He muttered awkwardly. “What do I do.” 

“Try to get out from under him…?”  Sam suggested, while Gabe struggled to keep from laughing loudly. 

“I...I don't want to wake him up.” Cas winced, causing Gabe to snort. 

“That, or you want to stay in his arms.” He purred. Castiel wasn't facing in their direction, but Sam just knew his face went red at that remark. 

 

After a while of sitting around, Sam and Gabriel decided to give the angel and demon some space and went out to the In N Out, in case they missed something. Gabriel ordered a chocolate milkshake, while Sam just ordered nothing. They sat at a table. 

“So...Why.” Sam asked, sitting back in his chair. Gabriel raised an eyebrow. 

“Why what, Sequoia?” 

“Why're you doing this? Helping us…?” Sam shrugged, blinking at the archangel in a dumbfounded way. “At first I thought it was the whole ‘mission from dad’ thing, but I know you. You don't follow that.” He scowled at him. “You just don't.” 

Gabriel glared at him, and sipped at his milkshake, frowning a bit. 

“Chuck did send me, for your information, but you're right. I normally don't stay for bullshit like this.” He sighed, looking away from Sam. “But, thing is, I enjoy you...Winchesters. And to be fair; Billy, the reaper Cas killed, owed me like twenty bucks. So now that she's dead, im claiming my prize by sabotaging her curse on you two.” He snorted a bit, sipping at his milkshake and smirking. “It was gonna be Lucifer's kid, but of course, but the girl decided to get that early abortion first. Thanks to my early thought form convincing her, of course. Took a bit longer to come back, and damaged up the feathers, but it worked. Trust me, you didn't want that thing existing.” 

“...huh.” Sam huffed, raising his eyebrows in surprise. “So, all this help, because you wanna mess with a dead reaper over a petty bet?” He stated dryly, shaking his head. Gabriel smirked. 

“And cause I like you guys.” He shrugged. He grabbed another straw from the straw holder and put it into his milkshake, and put it up to Sam. “Wanna sip?” 

Sam hesitated, but eventually took a sip from the milkshake curiously. He smacked his lips and looked at the angel. 

“Still don't understand how you can only eat sweets most the time.” He chuckled slightly, hiding a grin. Gabriel shook his head. 

“I dunno how you can only eat rabbit food, Veggie-boy.” He scoffed, smiling. 

  
  
  


Castiel was warm in Dean's arms when he heard the demon groan in sudden consciousness, confused as to what's going on. His eyes fluttered open and he gazed down at the angel in his arms, and scooted away- suddenly wide awake. 

“Wh...what the hell happened…?” He groaned, rubbing at his face. Cas looked at him nervously, and then avoided eye contact. 

“We made the mistake of giving you catnip.” He replied quietly, acting as if the motel bed was very interesting to look at. 

“How long was I out?” Dean yawned, scratching behind his ears. 

“About five to ten minutes.” Castiel answered. “Gabriel and Sam left to the In N Out.” 

“Huh.” Dean shrugged. “Those two seem to have an interesting dynamic happening, don't they?” 

“I admit they have always shared an interesting bond.” Cas nodded. He looked at Dean, and noticed the demon was just staring down at his own hand. He blinked, his eyes going black, before he blinked once again and allowed his eyes to go back to normal. 

“Cas?” He suddenly rasped, finally looking to the angel. 

“Yes?” 

“Do...Do you think I'm me right now?” Dean asked, his face full of total honesty for the first time since he died recently. Cas blinked at him, frowning. 

“I don't understand that question…” he replied. 

“I mean...am I the actual me? Yknow… Dean Winchester, hunter with a love for being a reckless hero and slitting monster throats.” 

“I…” Cas trailed off, unable to answer. He slightly bit his lip and sighed. “You...you aren't the same person you were before the blood treatment, I can admit, but I'm still not sure…” 

“So, what am I? Some mutt of a human and a demon?” Dean growled, looking away. Cas frowned, guilty of what he said, but couldn't say what he wanted as Deans pocket suddenly made a ping noise. Dean scowled and grabbed his phone, checking it. 

“It's Sam. ‘High schoolers at the In N Out, school must be over. Meet you back at the hotel.’” Dean read the text out loud, and looked at the cat who was sleeping on the bed next to them. He walked over, gently batting at Puddings ear until he woke up. 

“Cmon wake up, we’re gonna go track the witch soon.”

 

…

 

“Got the scent.” Pudding chirped, now strutting down the sidewalk, his tail high in the air as Dean held onto the leash. It was already sunset, thanks to how early the sun rises and sets in Arizona. “I've never been on one of these before, yknow.”

“Yeah, sorry. The other twolegs seem to not trust you as much as I do.” Dean growled casually. Sam looked at him. 

“T...twolegs?” He scoffed in amusement. 

“It's a cat dialect.” Dean shrugged awkwardly. 

They kept walking until they reached a shed, where Pudding stopped and stared, ears twitching. 

“Her scent is everywhere here, and fresh.” He explained. Dean glanced around in caution. 

There was the sound of a branch snapping, and then a swirling, charging sound. Dean jumped out of the way along with Pudding, and then witnessed the two angels and Sam suddenly get hit with a large net, restraining around all of them tightly like a rope. He could tell that one probably needed catlike hearing to get the warning. 

“Cas?! Sam!?” He shouted in alarm. 

“What am I? A white crayon?” Gabriel muttered. 

Dean started to walk towards them, but stopped as someone walked in front and cut him off. 

“Well, would’ya look at this.” Said a feminine, teenage voice. Dean could see the witch, standing there. She smiled at Dean. “I was wondering when you'd show up. I love your books, by the way. I'm honored to be hunted by the Winchesters.” 


	10. Self Inserts Death Fantasy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What're you doing?” Sam growled.   
> “Trying to figure out what you put in that beautiful hair of yours~” Gabriel purred, smiling. “I mean, I know it's natural, but I wanna know the genetics!”   
> “Please just dig, Gabriel.” Sam breathed.   
> “Oh I'm digging, all right! I'm digging just how perfect you look, even when you're covered in dirt~!” 
> 
> CLANG!   
> CRASH!
> 
> Gabriel ended up leaning too far forwards, drawing in a stiff breath as he tumbled forward once the shovel under him gave out.   
> The next thing he knew, he was on top of Sam, whose expression was full of shock and confusion. Gabriel could thank Chuck that the human couldn't see how harshly his wings were sticking up now. 
> 
> \------------------------
> 
> Dean has to make tough moral decisions to save the day. Cas gets embarrassed. Sam's fussy. Gabriel's gay. They adopt a cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!! Long time no update.   
> I've been working on this a LOT recently. I'm currently writing chapter 16, so as you can tell, I'm a bit far ahead(especially because instead of being 1000-2000 words each chapter now they're ranging from 3000-4000).   
> I have a LOT planned for this fanfiction, so please just stay tuned during the hunts they go on.

  
“Let them go.” Dean growled. The witch scowled at him.   
“Why? So you can kill me?” She scoffed. “I even have your angel pets under control, sweetie, see that net? Fancy, isn't it? It's warded against angels as well. Made it myself!”   
Dean grabbed his pistol out of his pockets, cocking it and aiming it at the girl. She seemed to already be able to tell what type of bullets were loaded into it.   
“I said let them go.” Dean stared firmly, narrowing his eyes. The witch took a step back, but grinned.   
“I'd put that down if I were you.” She responded coyly. She snapped her finger, and instantly, Sam began to choke violently. “This is a neat trick, ain't it? I set up a good ol hexing set with Sammys picture, and all you gotta do is burn it! Which, is pretty easy when you've memorized how to summon a small fire easily. I can put it out once you drop the pistol, though!”   
Dean narrowed his eyes, and cocked the gun once again.   
Half of him yelled that Sam was nothing but a pathetic troublemaker, anyways. He deserved to be used as a sacrifice or shield, it didn't matter as long as a bullet flew through that witches head.   
But yet, the other half of him screamed to save his little brother, to ignore his demonic instincts and do the right thing.

Blood had begun to dribble out of Sam's mouth as he hacked and coughed. Dean stood there, frozen as to what to do.

_“Shh...Sammy, Sammy it's okay….”_   
_Dean gripped onto the bars of the crib that his infant brother was crying in. He had no idea what to do, but the four year old could remember flames blasting from Sam's nursery, his mom on the ceiling, bleeding out and dead._   
_Dean climbed into the crib, sitting down and gently lifting his brother onto his lap, holding him close. The sun hadn't risen, and Dean couldn't tell the time yet, but he knew by now it was early in the morning. He gripped his little brother tight, shushing him and attempting to hum the tune his mommy always would to him._

Dean set the gun down, and the witch smiled, snapping her fingers once again and allowed Sam to breath. Sam panted, and stared at Dean in shock. Dean looked away from him, and back to the witch, narrowing his eyes.   
The young witch walked over to pick up the gun, bending down.

_“So, why this angel? Whys he special?” Benny asked, swinging his blade over his shoulder and walking. Dean sighed and scowled._   
_“He's family.” He replied. Benny laughed._   
_“Got any other family?” He questioned, smirking with amusement. Dean narrowed his eyes._   
_“Why? So you can kill em when you get outta here?”_   
_“Now, why would I do that to my helpful friend?” Benny rasped. “Besides, I already told ya, I don't do live humans.”_   
_Dean stared at Benny with distrust, but sighed._   
_“I have my brother, Sammy. And, honestly, i'd like for him to not be alone. It's my job to make sure he doesn't die or do something stupid.” He replied finally. Benny nodded._   
_“He look after you too?”_   
_“Of course! I bet he's working his ass off to save me right now.” Dean replied confidently._   
_They kept walking, but Benny's arm flew in front of Dean in a protective manner, and he sniffed at the air slightly. Dean, already alert, gripped his weapon tightly._   
_From the trees, a creature leaped down and attacked him, hissing and spitting in fury. Dean gripped his blade tight, swinging it and slicing the vampire across the chest._   
_Adrenaline pulsed through his body, his heart pounding in his ears and time slowing down as he locked into eye contact with the disgusting creature. It bared its many fangs, and Dean gave a smirk in return, swinging his blade. The weapon sliced through the vampire's neck like a knife through butter. It's head rolled onto the ground and its body fell with a thud. Deans heart pounded in his chest, and he had never felt so alive anywhere else but in the pure world that was Purgatory._

Dean kicked forward, a newfound adrenaline pulsing through his veins as the memory was forced through him. The witch yelped and fell back, covering her now bleeding nose. As she was stunned for a few seconds, Dean grabbed his gun bolted over to the net, and attempted to hack through it with a knife.   
Nothing was cutting. Looking for some possible way out, the demon finally found a hex bag attached, and forcefully ripped it off. He threw it to the ground, shooting it and watching as magic essence smoked out of it. The net stopped constricting his family, and the three of them managed to get out.

Dean turned around to face the witch, but panicked as a hex bag was thrown directly at him, paralyzing him and causing his vessel to go stiff as a board. The bag stuck to his chest like a sticky throw ball.   
“Honestly! You'd think most witches would be strong enough to cast a stick spell onto their bags!” The witch laughed. “It may just be me being a clever Ravenclaw and all.”   
Dean didn't know what she meant, but he heard Sammy groan as if it were a shitty joke, so he assumed it was a nerd thing.   
The witch took out a blade, and gripped it, hurtling towards Dean. Just before she reached him, a blur of blue-grey flashed by and hit her in the head, causing her to gasp in surprise. Pudding was hissing and spitting in anger, scratching at her eyes and face, distracting her as she attempted to pry him off of her head.   
Dean felt hands grab him by the shirt and then yanking it off, taking the hex bag with it and freeing him. He saw Sam, still shaky from the spell work cast on him, throw away the shirt to the ground and help his demonic brother up. Cas had run over to the witch with an angel blade in hand, grabbing the smaller girl and putting it to her throat.   
“FUCKING HELL!” She spat, struggling and reaching into one of the satchels at her side, grabbing a flask of some sort. She splashed it onto the angel, and began to chant something. Afterwards, fire lit to Castiel's trench coat, and he yelped in pain, releasing the girl. The stench of holy fire burned in Dean's throat, and he stood up, anger pulsing through him.   
No one fucking does that to Cas. No one, especially some witchy sonofabitch with clever ideas.   
His eyes went black, and he stood up, now with his chest exposed with bandages for his wound covering it up. He focused his anger on the girl out of nature and instinct, and was embraced with surprise when she was flung to the front of the shed, against the wall. She screamed, struggling to escape.   
Dean grabbed his gun that he had dropped once again, and aimed.   
“Normally i'd root for the underdog kids who get bullied, but you are one nasty, messed up witch.” He snarled. With that, he squeezed the trigger, firing and hitting her between the eyes with a witch killing bullet.   
The witch went limp, and then fell to the ground as the overwhelming power the demon felt began to ebb away.   
He blinked, and his black eyes returned to green. Soon, the power was replaced with exhaustion, and Dean slowly ran his fingers through his hair and looked back to his family.   
Sammy was staring at him, wiping the blood dribbling from his mouth away and panting. Cas was wincing and healing his vessel where he had been burned, frowning at his ruined jeans. Gabriel wasn't even pretending that he was helping during the fight, he just leaned against a tree and stared at Dean.   
“Well, that's taken care of.” Dean breathed, looking around.   
“We need to burn and bury the body,” Cas stated, nodding towards the witch. Dean nodded.   
“Right, right. Cas, zap me back to the motel, and we’ll drive Baby and the supplies back here.” He huffed. He felt a small creature climb onto his shoulders, and heard Pudding.   
“I wanna come with.” He purred. Dean cranked his head to face him, and then looked at Cas.   
“You ever fly with a cat before?” He asked. Cas nodded hesitantly.   
“After I had taken Sam's memories of hell and then snapped out of my coma, and I was, you know…” he licked his lips nervously. “I uh...I tried to fly a very cute cat to Meg at some point, however it reacted very poorly.”   
“Huh.” Dean scoffed in amusement. “Well, you have this one's consent, so let's go.”

The sensation of ‘flying’ with an angel is something that was always interesting. As Cas placed a hand on Dean's shoulder, he felt as if an entire bag squeezed around him tightly for a split second, until they landed, and the sensation was gone within seconds. He felt Pudding fall off his shoulder, and looked at the ground, bursting into laughter.   
“Shut up, mouse brain!” Pudding spat, growling and standing back up.   
“Why didn't you land on your feet?” Dean smirked cruelly. The sphinx narrowed his eyes.   
“That's a myth made up by dogs!” He hissed. Dean chuckled and looked around.   
They were now in the hotel room, just how they had left it. He grabbed the car keys out of his pocket and headed out the door, allowing Pudding to scramble back onto his shoulder. Cas followed behind them quietly.

He unlocked the car and hopped inside, turning the key in the ignition and smirking as it revved up as Cas sat into shotgun. He turned on some loud rock music and pulled out of the driveway.   
“I'm surprised you aren't upset about the music, considering cats have sensitive ears.” Dean stated loudly, his gaze flickering to the cat for a brief second.   
“You aren't bothered by it, right? You shouldn't be surprised at all.” Pudding purred in response, calmly blinking at Dean, who remembered he had cat like hearing as well for the time being. He shrugged and nodded in understanding.   
“Right. Anyways, Cas y- ...what are you doing?” Dean rose an eyebrow when he looked behind him, seeing Castiel's wings had suddenly spread open as Dean addressed him. Cas blushed slightly and sat back in an obviously fake-comfortable fashion.   
“What do you mean?” He rasped awkwardly, avoiding eye contact. Dean chuckled slightly and turned back around to focus on the road.   
“Why'd you just spread your wings when I talked to you?”   
“I do not know what you're talking about, Dean.”   
“You're a terrible liar.”   
“I've already told Sam that I am a good liar, for I once tricked and deceived both you and him.”   
Dean laughed and shook his head, grinning in amusement.   
“You need to stop being adorable, Cas. You're gonna give everyone a heart attack.”

  
Sam and Gabriel were digging a hole.   
Correction: Sam was digging with a rusty shovel he found in the shed while Gabriel watched casually while munching on a chocolate bar.   
“I could really use some help, yknow!” Sam panted, taking a quick second to breath and lean against the shovel. Gabriel nodded.   
“Yeah, you totally could.” He replied casually, biting into his chocolate. Sam scowled at him.   
“Dude! I just hacked up blood from choking, I could use help!” He insisted irritably.   
“Oh please, I healed you, ya tall drama queen.” Gabriel snorted, smirking. “And I'm an angel, I don't dig.”   
“You're possessing a human, therefore you have the ability.” Sam replied bitterly, narrowing his eyes. “I gave you a shovel, so get to it!”   
Gabriel scoffed and rolled his eyes, picking up the shovel and then leaning against it. He rested his chin onto the end of the stick, smirking at Sam as he worked. Sam eventually noticed, and looked at him- eye level due to the fact Sam was in the hole.   
“What're you doing?” Sam growled.   
“Trying to figure out what you put in that beautiful hair of yours~” Gabriel purred, smiling. “I mean, I know it's natural, but I wanna know the genetics!”   
“Please just dig, Gabriel.” Sam breathed.   
“Oh I'm digging, all right! I'm digging just how perfect you look, even when you're covered in dirt~!”

CLANG!   
CRASH!

Gabriel ended up leaning too far forwards, drawing in a stiff breath as he tumbled forward once the shovel under him gave out.   
The next thing he knew, he was on top of Sam, whose expression was full of shock and confusion. Gabriel could thank Chuck that the human couldn't see how harshly his wings were sticking up now.   
Sam's face was bright red, and the two stared at eachother for what was a good five seconds. It felt like years, but it didn't feel like it was long enough. Despite that feeling, Sam coughed awkwardly, shoving Gabriel off and standing up, attempting to wipe all the red Arizonan dirt off of him(and scoffing in annoyance because he knew it'd stain). Gabriel was coated in dirt as well, and stood up right after the human did, clearing his throat and nervously chuckling.   
“Whoops.”   
There was a bright light, and the two looked over the hole to see the headlights of the impala. The loud reviving quieted and the lights shut off, and Cas and Dean exited the car.   
“Wow, you two look like you just had sex in there.” Dean scoffed, noticing how filthy the human and angel looked. Meanwhile, Cas was staring at Gabriel with a tilted head and raised eyebrows, whilst Gabriel returned the favor with a death glare.   
“Don't say that while you're shirtless, please.” Sam cringed slightly.   
Dean had actually straight up forgot he was shirtless, and just shrugged. He walked to the back of the impala, opening the trunk and grabbing gasoline, salt, and a lighter. He walked back up next to Cas, grinning.   
“Alright, let's burn this sonofabitch.”

 

Finally, they got back to the motel, even the angels exhausted. They sat down for a while silently until Sam broke it.   
“So...what're we gonna do with the cat?” Sam asked, gesturing to Pudding- who was laying on Dean's lap.   
“Take me to a shelter and I’ll not only escape but I'll track you myself.” Pudding growled at Dean, narrowing his eyes and flicking his tail. Dean looked at Sam.   
“A shelters outta the question.” He shrugged. Sam raised his eyebrows in surprise, but then cleared his throat awkwardly.   
“So...what? We just abandon him on the road again?” He asked, tilting his head. Dean scowled and shrugged, batting at a coffee cup on the table he was sitting on until it fell off and shattered.   
“Dean what the fuck?” Sam's voice was monotone as if he expected it, but he was still pissed. Gabriel laughed in the background, and Cas remained focused on Pudding.   
“Perhaps we can keep it? Cats are far less trouble than dogs, and this one is quite intelligent.” He rasped, ignoring the fact that Gabriel was still laughing at Dean's cat-like symptoms. Sam looked at Dean with a doubtful expression, but was surprised to see that the demon was wearing a thoughtful face. He scratched Pudding casually behind the ear and nodded a bit.   
“I mean, I wouldn't really mind it, as long as he's okay with staying in the bunker and occasional long car rides if we take him on hunts.” He stated hesitantly, as if he was embarrassed.   
“Really?” Sam replied, shocked. Dean shrugged and nodded.   
“Sure, why the hell not?” He said more firmly, smiling a bit. “What’dyou think about living with some hunters, buddy?”  
“Are you kidding me?” Pudding purred. “I'm the best cat you could get for a job like this!”

 

The next morning, the boys quickly packed up and began to drive away from the motel immediately, due to the fact that Gabe bought a laser pointer and it ended up causing Dean to run straight into a wall and dent it severely. As they set out on the road, the side effects for the potion had begun to wear off, which Dean was surprisingly a tad bummed about. He could do without the catnip effects and the desire to chase everything that moves, but he enjoyed seeing angel wings and talking to his new cat- which is something he never thought he'd enjoy.   
After about eight hours of driving, it was decided by the court of the car to stop at a restaurant and then allow the nocturnal demon with the ability to not need sleep to drive for the rest of the night.   
They walked into the pet friendly restaurant, Pudding on a leash. A woman nearby gave a disgusted look at the hairless cat, to which Dean responded with blinking his eyes black for a second before blinking again, chuckling a bit to himself as the woman let out a yelp and covered her mouth.   
“Dude.” Sam growled sharply, nudging his brother and giving him his signature bitch face. Dean smirked at him and sat down at an empty table, Cas piling in next to him and Gabriel piling in on the other side with Sam, who seemed to sit straighter in an uncomfortable and awkward manner.   
“Uh…” he started, clearing his throat and shrugging. “Yknow, I'm surprised you're willing to stand up for that cat now. You hate animals.”   
“Hey, I've only ever hated cats because they made me sneeze my brain out.” Dean replied in a mock-sharp tone, casually acting as if Pudding didn't just jump into his lap. “Cats are way cooler than dogs.”   
“Well I mean I guess that's your opinion but...yknow. The way you are now, I expected you to…”   
Sam trailed off, his expression showing that he realized what he was saying. Dean huffed a bit and sat back, subtly rubbing at his right arm and looking away.   
Right, the fact that he was still a demon. Was he, though? He had both types of blood pumping through his veins, sure, but which one was he? Dean didn't like the fact that he was practically a mutt between the two, it was a constant fight in morals. Part of him still even felt like he had the mark. He wasn't necessarily addicted to killing, but he still felt that strong desire. He still felt the losing battle he faced. He still felt the urge to prove himself to others that he can be strong and powerful, violent. He still felt the powerful need to slaughter brutally, kill, stab until their chest is mush, bite their throats out and taste blood as a reward, fight until he was up to his knees in crimson, slaughter until he-   
“Hello, may I take your order?”   
The voice of a young waitress snapped Dean back into reality, and he looked up, grinning as if he hadn't just been having a mental break down.   
“Yeah, sure, I'll have a double burger with a side of fries, no salt.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I self insert myself just so Dean Winchester could shoot me in the head, killing me instantly? Yes, yes I did.


	11. Intermission Exbosition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Dean, it's your turn to take out the trash.” He stated firmly. Dean turned to face his brother, nodded at the trash can, and shrugged.
> 
> “I'm good.” He replied sharply.
> 
> “Dean, we have a deal with this crap. I did it last week.” Sam growled, frowning at his brother. Dean narrowed his eyes as they turned black. “Dean, don't you-”
> 
> Before he could finish what he was saying, Dean opened his mouth, letting out a ton of black smoke. His body went limp, and his soul escaped out the room quickly.
> 
> “DAMMIT, DEAN! YOU CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS!”
> 
> \---------------------------------------------------------
> 
> We are half way through the plot now, fellas! Shits going to get real, but first we have to learn whats so different about this universe!

“Imagine, a world where monsters no longer existed. All I ask is you take orders from the Men Of Letters, and we will grant you access to all of our resources and information if you so desire.” 

Mary stared at Mr. Davies with an intrigued face, tilting her head curiously and narrowing her eyes. 

She opened her mouth to accept the deal, however, she then felt as if she was flooded with memories. 

Her little Sammy- her first sight of what he had grown into, was him chained up and tortured by the British Men Of Letters. He was exhausted, so, so tired and in so much pain. And Dean? He was almost killed by them. 

She had already up and left them, what kind of mother would she be if she joined a group of people that tried to kill them, no matter how bad they felt? 

She drew in a long, contempt breath, and then looked Mr. Davies in the eyes, giving a gentle smile. 

“Thank you, Mr. Davies, but I'm afraid I won't work with a group who has attempted to torture and murder my boys.”

  
  
  


Gabriel sat on the sofa, watching RuPaul's Drag Race with Amara and eating a chocolate bar. 

“This is one of Chucks better creations.” She smiled. Gabriel laughed and shrugged. 

“I'm before it.” He replied, lifting his leg and hand in the air dramatically. 

“You  _ wish.”  _ Amara laughed. 

Chuck raced into the room, looking at his sister and his son in distress. 

“Uh, guys?” Chuck squeaked. “Billy's dead.” 

“The reaper?” Gabriel asked, eyebrows raised. Chuck nodded. 

“Killed to avoid a deal.” He replied. 

“Let me guess.” Gabriel groaned. “Winchesters.” 

“Bingo.” Chuck stuttered. “Anyways, uh, now they're going to have cosmic consequences…” 

“Can't you just...delete that…?” Amara scoffed. Chuck sighed and shook his head. 

“I invented them for a reason.” He winced. Amara and Gabriel simultaneously rolled their eyes. 

“Fine. Let's finish this drag race episode and then I'll jump in.” Gabriel replied. Chuck perked up and sat between Amara and Gabe. 

“Oh, I love this episode!” 

  
  
  


Mr. Ketch walked silently through the woods, clicker in hand, and HellHound by his side. After the failed attempt of hiring Mary Winchester, the British Men Of Letters decided to track them, keep up what they were up to and what they were hunting. They soon found that Dean had become a demon, however it would be impossible to take him out with an archangel on guard near him constantly. A shame, really. 

However, the BMoL were still confident in themselves and their program, and then had developed a plan to kill those hunters who are allies the Winchesters, starting with Eileen Leahy. 

The process was rather tedious and brutal, Ketch was almost impressed over how the woman almost held her own. In the end, of course, the HellHound won, slaughtering Eileen. 

“Is she still going to end up in Heaven, do you think?” Mr. Davies asked Ketch as they handled the body. Ketch shrugged. 

“I don't suppose she will. HellHounds are trained to bring their target to hell, therefore I suppose she is going to end up there.” He responded casually. Next to him, Mr. Davies shuttered a bit, confusing Ketch. “Something the matter?” 

“No- nothing at all.” Mr. Davies responded casually. 

  
  
  
  


Gabriel set up his plan in a very sweet way- sweet literally. As Kelly went to pour herself some water, she had gotten a chocolate milkshake. She freaked out, sure, but she enjoyed it. She reached in her pocket to call customer service about the fridge dispenser, but instead she pulled out a king sized chocolate bar. She realized her phone was on the table, so the turned around to get it, but instead found a whole buffet of candies. 

“What the hell is going on…” she breathed to herself. This is when Gabriel decided to dip in. 

“Hiya, Kelly!” He greeted from behind. She spun around and stepped back in caution, horrified. “Don't worry, I'm not here to harm ya, I'm just here to talk.” 

“T-talk? Talk about what?! Who are you?” Kelly yelped these questions at a high speed, still slowly backing up. Gabriel huffed and stuffed his hands into his jacket. 

“My name is Gabriel. I'm...well, let's just say I'm the uncle of your kid.” 

“Y-you're a demon!?” Kelly panicked. 

“What!? No! No. I'm an angel- uh- archangel, to be exact. Look, I'm here to tell you that, that baby? Should not be born.” Gabriel shrugged. “Trust me on this. I get it, he's your baby, and you love him no matter what, but that is a Satan spawn that can and  _ will  _ kill you as you give birth to it.” 

Kelly stared at Gabriel, horrified. She began to tear up, but nodded slowly. 

“What do I have to do?” 

  
  
  


About a week passed by after the case in Arizona. Pudding quickly adjusted to life in the bunker, and Mary was happy to see her family again once they returned. The only one having trouble adjusting was Dean. 

Dean was a wild card. Being demonic was hard to control, and the blood injections still hurt like gasoline set on fire inside of his veins. His stab wound wasn't healing fast as normal, which meant he needed to stay demonic longer. 

The longer he stayed like this, the more irritable and violent he'd get. 

 

“Dammit!” Dean spat, slamming the fridge shut. “We’re out of freaking beers!” 

“Er- alright?” Sam shrugged awkwardly, sipping at a smoothie. “I suppose you can go get some more- or maybe ask Gabe to spawn some in?” 

“You kidding me? That asshat sucks at continuity.” Dean expressed. 

“I heard that!” Gabriel yelled from the other room. Dean scowled and shoved on a jacket, walking out the kitchen. 

“CAS! Get your feathery ass out here, we’re going to go buy some more beer!” 

“It's been less than two days since we bought the last eight pack, Dean.” Castiel replied as he spawned next to the demon, frowning. “I do not think that much alcohol is healthy.” 

“I'm a demon, I have a way higher alcohol tolerance.” Dean growled, rolling his eyes and walking toward the garage of the bunker. 

 

Sam wrinkled his nose in disgust as he went to throw some spoiled milk away, and noticed how full the garbage was. He threw the carton in and then turned to face Dean. 

“Dean, it's your turn to take out the trash.” He stated firmly. Dean turned to face his brother, nodded at the trash can, and shrugged. 

“I'm good.” He replied sharply. 

“Dean, we have a deal with this crap. I did it last week.” Sam growled, frowning at his brother. Dean narrowed his eyes as they turned black. “Dean, don't you-”

Before he could finish what he was saying, Dean opened his mouth, letting out a ton of black smoke. His body went limp, and his soul escaped out the room quickly. 

“DAMMIT, DEAN! YOU CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS!” 

 

“Dean, please stop leaving sulfur everywhere! It smells horrible!” Sam shouted from the library. 

“THEN STOP LEAVING YOUR LONG ASS HAIR EVERYWHERE!” Dean yelled from his room. “YOU SHED MORE THAN THE FREAKING CAT!” 

“DEAN OUR CAT IS  _ HAIRLESS!”  _ Sam spat in annoyance. “SPEAKING OF WHICH, CLEAN OUT HIS LITTERBOX! IT'S BEEN STINKING UP THE GARAGE!” 

“YOU DO IT!” 

“ _ HE'S YOUR CAT!”  _

“You guys are going to give me the grey hairs I should technically already have.” Mary groaned, setting down her book. 

 

The bunker was chaos with Dean. At one point in the week, Gabriel did attempt to punish him, however he ended up creating a mess. 

Sam had been checking the news for a possible case, when there was suddenly a loud shriek of pain from somewhere in the bunker. He bolted into Deans room, and stopped in his tracks when he saw his brother gasping and sputtering on the floor. 

“Dean!?” Sam shouted, running over and kneeling down next to the demon. He noticed Gabriel standing over him. “What happened!?” 

“I- er-” Gabriel froze in place, horrified. “I uh...I might've tried to punish him for making a stink bomb so he could set it off in your room.” 

“I-...” Sam took a quick second to sigh and shake his head. “What did you do?” 

“I-I might've...okay, uh...do you remember the Mystery Spot?” 

“Gabriel.” 

“Okay okay, look. I forgot how many Tuesdays you went through...but...I gave him back all the memories of him dying.” 

“All at once?” 

“All at once.” 

Sam groaned and rubbed at his face, and then wrapped his arms around his trembling brother, sitting him up a bit and attempting to shake him into reality. After a few seconds of being unsuccessful, Sam narrowed his eyes at Gabe. 

“If he were human, this would've killed him.” He growled. “Gabriel, he died about two hundred times…!” 

“What's going on? What's wrong with Dean?” Cas had entered the room, and his blue eyes were filled with panic as soon as he saw the demon. 

“Gabriel just gave him memories of being killed hundreds of times.” Sam spat. 

Gabriel was about to respond, but then Sam felt Dean grip his arm and groan. His eyes opened and flickered around in panic, aaaaand then rolled off his brother's lap and immediately vomited. 

“Shit- Dean? Dean, you alright!?” Sam yelped, while Cas kneeled down and gripped the demons shoulder. Dean, still trembling, nodded and coughed. 

“Sonofabitch…” he choked out, wiping his mouth and panting. Sam patted his back and stared nervously as his brother continued to speak. “I never wanna hear Asia again.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean smoking out of his meat-suit was based off of a comic by Consulting-Cannibal on Tumblr. Scout is amazing and I love her.


	12. Breaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new case arises, and the brothers start to hide things that they shouldn't hide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY WHATS UP!!!!! I haven't even worked on this in a goddamn YEAR but, to be fair I honestly nearly finished it, and I felt bad that I never posted the chapters. I hate this fan fiction by now but, idk, it felt bad leaving it unfinished, so take it!

A young woman sat down at the table in her house, sitting back in her chair and scrolling through social medias on her phone. From the other room, there was a clattering sound, as if someone had tripped over a stool. The woman stood up and creeped into her kitchen cautiously, fear burning in her belly as she flipped on the light. 

A woman with similar traits to the first stood there- brown frizzy hair and dark sepia colored skin. The first woman relaxed her posture and let out a sigh of relief. 

“Meredith, hi…” she breathed. “What're you doing here…? It's a bit late for a visit, dontcha think?” 

The woman walked over to the fridge and swung the door open, grabbing a wine bottle to split with her sister. As she shut the door and turned around, a large kitchen knife plunged into her chest. 

The wine bottle fell to the ground and shattered, and the woman fell to the floor as the knife slid out of the wound, gasping and coughing up blood. Meredith stood over her, knife clutched in her hand as she stared at her sister with a cold expression. 

“You shouldn't of skimmed from my bank account so many times.” 

  
  
  


Blood. So much blood. 

Crimson flowed like a river at his fingertips as he walked knee deep in the scarlet substance, until he found a shore of rotting corpses. 

The chains around his wrists, ankles, and neck rubbed his skin raw, and his many wounds stung his skin, open and coated in dry blood. 

On the throne on top of the mountain of corpses was someone. 

He walked closer. 

It was his father. Amazed and overjoyed, he ran forwards- 

Alastair sat on the throne now. 

He tried to stop in his tracks, but his feet kept running. 

Crowley. Crowley was on the throne, smiling warmly. 

He couldn't stop running. 

Cain was on the throne. 

Amara. 

Himself. 

He was on the throne of hell, eyes black, hands coated in sticky scarlet, and his mouth dripping in red. 

He chewed on a bloody piece of flannel, and a black feather. 

 

He woke up with a start, panting and sputtering in shock. 

 

Dean didn't like sleeping. 

  
  


“Guess who found a local case!” Gabriel walked into the kitchen with pride, smirking and slamming a newspaper down on the table. Dean stood up from leaning on the counter with a kick of his heel, and picked the paper up, tilting his head and scanning the headline. Sam threw a glance at Gabriel and raised a brow. 

“What do you suppose it is?” He asked curiously. The archangel shrugged and shoved his hands into his pockets, leaning against the fridge. 

“I dunno, probably something ghost related.” He responded. 

“Local woman is killed by her sister, sister says she doesn't remember a thing. Yup, our kind of weird.” Dean stated, slamming the paper back down on the table. “What do you think, possession?” 

“Probably,” Sam nodded. “Have we had any cattle deaths near us lately?” 

“There have been no demon signs around us as of recently.” Cas replied. “Except for the sulfur that you keep leaving traces of throughout the bunker.” 

“Hey!” Dean spat, narrowing his eyes. “I can't help it!” 

“Still smells awful.” Sam shrugged. “Anyways, maybe it's ghost possession?” 

“Let's go interview our murderous sister, see what information she'll give us.” Dean shrugged, grabbing the paper and beginning to walk out of the kitchen. “Me and Sam’ll go check it out, you two chicken wings stay here, maybe search for some lore when we call.” 

 

“I swear...I don't remember hurting my sister… I loved her.”

The suspect, Meredith, sat in a chair whilst handcuffed. In front of her sat Sam and Dean, who stayed calm and reserved. Sam ran his thumb over his knuckles, folding his hand and nodding at the woman. 

“We understand, we would just like to ask a few questions.” He replied. Dean lifted his chin and blinked at the woman, keeping a stoic face. 

“What's the last thing you remember before you woke up next to you sister?” He asked. The woman ran her fingers through her hair, stressed. 

“I...I was talking with this guy while at worked at the bar...I was talking about how...h-how I was mad that my sister kept using my bank account…” She bit her lip, gazing down at her cuffed hands. “The guy was cute, y'know, so I was just chatting him up a bit. He...he has this aura, yknow? I felt like I could spill anything to him...and I did. He…” she sighed, and looked at the boys in fear. “He said that everything would be alright, and he put his hand on my shoulder… and then I woke up covered in my sisters blood.” 

After Meredith finished speaking, the brothers exchanged a glance towards each other. Sam huffed and looked at the woman. 

“Ms. Johnson, is there anything weird about that boy…?” He asked, shrugging gently. “Maybe something like… the smell of sulfur around him…? Flinched at salt…?” When Meredith shook her head, Sam nodded. “Okay, then perhaps cold spots around you, or lights flickering?” 

“These are really strange questions for a murder case…” Meredith breathed. 

“Just routine questions.” Dean nodded, shrugging. Meredith gazed at her hands and shook her head. 

“Okay, well, no...nothing.” She responded faintly. Sam nodded. 

“Alright, could you please tell us what bar you work at?” 

  
  
  


Gabriel casually walked around the bunker, acting normal as he slipped into Sam's room. 

He enjoyed the smell of it, a lot. He loved the smell of Sam, despite the fact that it's more musky and cologne-like instead of his usual preferred sweet. 

He liked Sam in general. He never could understand why he grew so attached, but he just...did. Maybe it was the determination to save his brother, maybe it was the way he refused to give into Lucifer. Maybe it was the adorable long hair and puppy dog eyes. 

Sam was everything Gabriel couldn't be. Sympathetic, strong headed, brave, and compassionate. Opposites attract, they really do. 

“Hello, Gabriel.” 

Gabe jumped when he heard Cas’s voice, and he quickly turned to see the angel in the doorway, head cocked to the side in curiosity as usual. 

“My Dad, Cas! You can't just sneak up like that!” Gabriel breathed. Castiel took a few steps forward and glanced around. 

“You are in Sam's room.” He stated, his blue eyes flickering to Gabriel and his black wings twitching slightly as they readjusted. Gabriel nodded. 

“Why I can't be?” He asked, smirking and standing up from the bed. Castiel's wing twitched slightly, and he narrowed his eyes. 

“Your wingspan is wide open, Gabriel. I've realized that tends to happen when you are near Sam or talking about him.” He said, his face still stoic, however this was pretty much as far as it got for angels teasing one another. Gabriel felt his vessels face burn, and he avoided eye contact. 

“Well, Cas. That's rude to point out.” He growled, scowling. Castiel stepped forward, tilting his head. 

“You aren't hoping for a relationship with Sam Winchester, are you?” He questioned, and Gabriel realized Cas wasn't joking around. His wings were slightly open, and his eyes were narrowed in a threatening manner. 

“So what if I am!?” Gabriel bristled, gritting his teeth slightly. “It's no different than you and-” 

“Gabriel.” Cas growled, interrupting his brother. “You do recall what you have done to the Winchesters in the past, correct?” 

“If this is about the fact that you had to calm Dean down for hours after I gave him back all those memories…” Gabriel began, but then saw the severe glint of protectiveness in Castiel's eyes. “Okay, look…” he sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “Those were...supposed to be jokes...and lessons.” 

“Jokes!?” Cas suddenly spat.  _ “Jokes!?  _ You killed Dean uncountable times and made Sam witness them as a  _ joke!?  _ You put them through days straight of nonstop tv show reenacting as a  _ joke!? _ Gabriel, Sam spent six fake months trying to hunt you down and kill you, because you killed his brother! What makes you think he's going to love you after that!?” 

Gabriel flinched bad as if Castiel had just swung at him, and he flapped his wings to his sides and bit his lip. He shut his eyes and then took a deep breath, before opening them again to stare Cas down. 

“What, you think I understood what could be a joke and what could be life threatening back then?! Cas, I was mostly raised by  _ Lucifer!  _ I didn't know how to tell the difference!” 

“You knew damn well!” Castiel shouted, spreading out his wingspan and scrunching his face in anger. “Own up to your actions, Gabriel!” 

“Everything okay in here…?” 

The two angels turned to see Mary standing in the doorway, eyebrows raised in concern. She leaned against the doorframe and crossed her arms. 

“Yes. Everything is fine.” Castiel replied in a suppressed voice, folding his wings back up and gazing at her. Gabriel frowned and nodded. 

“Yup. S’all cool.” He added, shrugging. Mary narrowed her eyes and shook her head. 

“Yeah, sure, like I couldn't hear you two shouting at each other.” She growled, kicking off from the doorframe and walking towards the two angels. “Now, you're going to tell me what you two are arguing about, and I'm going to help settle it.” 

  
  


“Two beers please, he’ll have something light.” Dean nodded at the bartender, however Sam slammed his hand onto his brother's shoulder and narrowed his eyes. He stepped in front of Dean, chuckling nervously and taking out his badge, Dean naturally following suite. 

“Special agents Thomas and Finnigan, we’re here to ask a few questions.” Sam stated casually. The bartender returned the nod and smiled nervously. 

“What seems to be the problem?” He asked. “The names Avi, by the way.” Dean sat down at the table, accepting a drink from the bartender and sipping at it. Sam took out the EMF reader and began to absentmindedly scan the area while Dean questioned the bartender. 

“We’re here investigating the case of Meredith Johnson, were you here the last shift she took?” He asked. Avi let out a long sigh and nodded. 

“Yeah, I was. I heard about the murder, but Meredith wouldn't do that kinda thing. I've been working with her for two years…” he sighed. Dean smiled nervously and nodded. 

“Yeah, that's what we’re working on. She said she was talking to a boy before she had woken up in her sister's blood. Do you know the boy she's talking about?” He asked. Avi seemed to become very unsettled after Dean worded the question like he did, but he nodded. 

“Yup...I saw him. Some dude with short curly golden hair, and a bit of a beard going. He had this weird necklace…it was this symbol, yknow?” Avi gazed down at the table in thought, absentmindedly tapping his finger on the wood. “It was this man, with another face on the back of his head, like straight up Quirrell.” 

“Like what now?” Dean asked, puzzled. Sam scoffed a bit in amusement. 

“Harry Potter thing.” He replied to his brother, who rolled his eyes. 

“Of course, you nerd.” Dean growled, shrugging and shaking his head. Avi chuckled lightly, and then Dean glanced back to him. “This guy, didja get a name?” 

“No, I didn't...but he's a regular here.” Avi shrugged. “Maybe if you come back tonight around nine you'll find him.” 

“Sounds good.” Dean smiled, scooting off of his bar stool. Sam nodded at Avi, waving a bit as he walked out with Dean. 

“Thank you for your time.” He added. 

  
  
  


“So…you two are arguing because...Gabriel has a crush on Sam, and you think Gabriel has done things he can't fix to my boys and therefore shouldn't even be allowed to develop these feelings.” 

Mary was sitting between the two angels, her fingers running through her hair as she sat in slight frustration. 

“Yes, that's exactly the situation.” Cas replied, nodding. “Mary, are you alright?” 

“Yup, I'm good...just trying to wrap my head around the fact that an archangel has a crush on my son.” Mary scoffed in response. “I mean, it's one thing with you and Dean, Castiel…” 

Gabriel suddenly burst out laughing, and Castiel's face suddenly burned into a deep scarlet and he looked at Mary with shock. 

“I...I have no idea what you are talking about.” He winced. Mary let out a soft chuckle and shook her head. 

“You don't have to pretend. Honestly I think it's about time one of you made a move.” She replied casually. She turned to look at Gabriel. “As for you...you should pull Sam aside and...just communicate. Apologize to him.” 

“Do you really think that an apology can fix-” 

Mary shot Cas a glare, and the seraph shrunk down like a defeated kitten. She looked back to the archangel, who nodded slowly. 

“I'll give it a shot.” 

  
  
  


“Alright, stay in the car, i'll go pick up our order.” 

Sam exited the passenger seat and shut the door behind him, entering a fast food place they had just ordered from. Dean sat there casually, until he realized Sam left his phone on the seat when it buzzed. 

Dean picked up the phone and tilted his head curiously, eyeing the new text. 

 

666: I'm just saying, if you want to heal Dean quicker, it'll be harder than with normal demons. 

 

Confused, Dean unlocked his brothers phone and scrolled through this apparent group chat Sam was a part of. 

 

You: Okay, I know for a fact you two know Dean is a demon, and we can't make him human cause his vessel is fatally wounded. Cas and Gabe can't heal him because his soul is toxic or something, so what spell is there to fix his vessel? 

The Witch: Oh, Samuel! This should be bloody simple! I'm surprised an archangel can't fix a simple vessel...it's easy, even with a demon! By the way, is Gabriel single? ;) 

666: Mother, please stop flirting with everything that moves. 

666: Also, Dean is a different case. He isn't like other demons. 

You: What, he's not a knight, is he? He would've regenerated the wound easily. 

666: No, no. Dean is basically an...artificial demon. 

666: He couldn't become a demon easy. Demons are usually formed by excessive torture… 

666: …lucky for me, he had already spent a good 40 years in hell. However, him being a Winchester and all, that wasn't quite enough. 

666: I had to use demon soul power to basically...hard boil his own in corruption. Of course, he doesn't remember the process, it would be painful enough to send him into shock if he even had a single memory about it. 

You: Wait, you're telling me you boiled my brother in corrupted souls!? 

666: Oi! He's alive, isn't he? He's just more...complex than other demons. 

You: Crowley, this is insane. 

666: I'm just saying, if you want to heal Dean quicker, it'll be harder than with normal demons.  

The Witch: Oh, please! This can't be too hard! I may recall seeing this in The Book Of The Damned, actually! I'll get you the recipe for the spell in no time ;0 

666: Why do you want to help so badly, ginger whore? 

The Witch: Ginger Whore MOTHER. 

The Witch: And it’s never a bad thing to be on the good side of an archangel! ;)

_ 666 is typing... _

  
  


Dean furrowed his brows at the texts, frowning. He noticed Sam heading back to the car and quickly tossed his phone back onto the seat, and acted as if he was just waiting patiently. 

“They ran out of pie.” Sam said as he swung open the passenger door and hopped into the impala. He took out his salad cup and began eating, while Dean groaned. 

“Sonofabitch…” he growled, turning the key in the ignition and beginning to pull out of the parking lot. As he did so, he tossed Sam a glance and huffed. “Hey, you talk to Crowley recently?” 

Sam halted for a second in surprise, but then reluctantly shook his head. 

“Nope, why?” He answered. There was a buzz noise, and Sam dug out his phone from under him, raising his eyebrows. “Oh, that's where that went…” he muttered, glancing at the text and then shoving it into his pocket. “Anyways, no.”

“Huh.” Dean nodded, extremely nerved that his brother was lying to him. He stayed quiet, not bothering to turn on music as the thought of what Crowley said pounded in his head. 

He wasn't just a demon, he was a soul that was boiled in corruption. What did this even mean for him? Was he going to be impossible to heal? Would it be harder to cure him?  _ Could he even be cured?  _

“Dean, you good?” 

Dean was snapped out of his thought process by Sam's sudden question. He realized his brother was looking at him with slight concern. “You're uh...white-knuckling the steering wheel.” 

Dean realized his brother was right, and quickly eased his grip and inhaled a deep breath. 

“‘M fine.” Dean shrugged, huffing to himself. Sam exhaled in disbelief and pulled out his phone, checking the texts on it. 

“Who’re you texting?” Dean asked. Sam looked at his brother suspiciously and shrugged. 

“Mom.” He replied. Dean felt rage burn in his face and he took a deep breath. 

“Let me try that again,” the demon began, almost gritting his teeth. “I know you're texting Crowley and Rowena about fixing me.” 

Sam seemed to freeze up right after Dean said that. Hesitantly, he inhaled. 

“Why'd you snoop through my texts?” He asked. Dean furrowed his brows. 

“I didn't mean to, but it's hard when your brother leaves his phone next to you and he gets a text that catches your eye because it says it's from the king of Hell.” He spat. Sam huffed. 

“Yknow, you had no right to-” 

“YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO KEEP THIS FROM ME!” Dean interrupted him, exploding in sudden anger. He pulled into the garage of the bunker and put the impala into park, then stepped out of the driver's seat and waited for Sam to exit. 

“Yeah!? Dean, do you remember the stuff you used to keep from  _ me!?”  _ Sam snarled in return, stepping out of the impala and slamming the door. “Dean, you neglected to tell me that I had  _ demon blood _ in me!” 

“Oh, boo hoo! I'm sorry you got a bit of demon juice in you! That must be terrible!” Dean mocked in a sickening tone. “Oh wait, I know how it feels! You know why!?  _ BECAUSE I AM A FUCKING DEMON!”  _

Sam flinched back slightly, mouth hanging open in surprise as Dean's eyes went black. “You aren't a special goddamn snowflake anymore, Sam! You aren't some misunderstood monster who vividly remembers being tortured by Lucifer!” 

“How dare y-” 

“Ever stop to think how fucking lucky you are, that you can only remember flashes of the cage!? Meanwhile, I'm still haunted by every fucking second of Hell, and I suffered through purgatory for a year! Nonstop Hunger Games, Sammy! I was addicted to killing, Sam!  _ Killing!  _ I became an unkillable demon, and trust me, Sammy! I tried to kill myself! I tried the night after I ran away!” 

Sam had no idea why all this was spilling out of Dean, but he was terrified as his big brother continued to shout. “I nearly ended the fucking world and I couldn't fix it because I was attracted to the thing doing it! And now look! What the fuck am I, Sam!? An artificially boiled demon!?” 

Dean panted, tears pricking at the corners of his jet black eyes as he stared at Sam. His little brother stared in shock at Dean, unable to reply. Dean ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. 

“...I'm sorry.” He growled, turning around and walking towards the entrance of the bunker. Sam scowled as he watched his brother walk away, and trailed behind him at a far slower pace. 

As Dean walked through the bunker, Mary gently approached him. 

“Hey, are you two alright? I heard shouting.” 

“M fine.” Dean shrugged, shoving off to his room. Sam leaned against a wall at the end of the hallway, glancing to Mary once she turned around. 

“What happened?” She asked him in a lower voice. Sam drew in a sigh and shook his head. 

“I...I-I dunno...he just kinda...exploded…” He stated, gesturing in the direction of Dean's room. Mary furrowed her brows and cocked her head. 

“About what?” 

“About...I dunno. Everything.” 

 

Dean walked into his room and collapsed onto his bed in a huff, lifting his hand to pet Pudding as the cat jumped into his lap. He chuckled sadly as the hairless feline purred and headbutted his side affectionately, and he wiped his wet eyes with his hand and sighed. 

“Are you alright, Dean?” 

The demon looked over to his doorway to see Cas standing there, concern spread across his face. Dean huffed and nodded. 

“Yup, I'm good.” He replied, sitting up in his bed. Cas walked into the room, glaring at Dean doubtfully. 

“Humans are so weird with their lying.” He growled, sitting next to Dean on the bed. Dean would've given Cas the whole ‘personal space’ talk again, but in all honesty, he wouldn't mind comfort from someone. 

“Look, I just...I'm tired of being...this.” Dean winced, looking down at his hands. “I want to be human again, or full demon. Anything to just feel less...messy.” 

“Dean, aren't humans  _ supposed  _ to be messy?” Castiel asked, looking at Dean and frowning. “If I learned anything while being human, I learned that life is one giant mess, but...it's a precious one.” 

Dean actually scoffed a tad in amusement and nodded, wiping his eyes. 

“Yeah, but what about  _ me? _ Cas _ , what if I can't handle doing this anymore?” _

 

Sam walked into his room, and stopped at his bed when he noticed a marshmallow stuffed chocolate bunny on his pillow, wrapped and still sealed, with a note on it. 

 

_ Heya,  _ _ Sammy  _ _ Sam.  _

_ So, I'm not really good at this kind of stuff in person, but this is still something that I really need to say, so I'm doing it in writing, y'know, instead of the regular porntape.  _

_ Look, I've done some really, really messed up things to you in the past, things I'm sure have scarred you for life, even. But, the thing is, I didn't really understand the difference between a joke and something disgusting and terrible. It's something I'm still trying to learn, honestly. But that shouldn't excuse what I've done.  _

_ I'd like to just say I'm sorry for the things I did to you...and Dean. I'm very, very sorry.  _

 

_ ~Gabriel  _

 

_ Ps- Cas told me that Dean told him that you used to go nuts over marshmallows, so I found a candy you might like for once.  _

  
  


Sam actually laughed a bit at the last part, but honestly felt touched. This was something he had never expected from Gabriel, and knowing the angel, it must've taken a  _ lot  _ to say that. 

He picked up the bunny Gabe left. Curious, he unwrapped it and took a bite.

It was pretty good. 


	13. Mourn, Drag, and run away.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A friend is found dead. Sam gets dragged. Dean gets convinced by a monster.

“So, get this,” 

Sam was sitting next to Mary in the library, tapping away at his laptop as they both researched. “I did some digging for a symbol for a man with two faces, this is what I got.” 

He turned his laptop towards Mary's direction, gesturing to the screen. On it was a picture of a statue with two faces, and under it was written ‘Sancus, god of trust’. 

“So, what? Are we dealing with a deity?” Mary asked, furrowing her brows as Sam took the laptop back and began to type more. 

“Looks like it…” Sam breathed, shrugging. “Okay...so I'm guessing we’re gonna need a stone pinewood stake and blood to kill this thing.” He huffed. “I'll go ask Gabriel to get some.” 

“Got it.” Mary nodded, watching as Sam got up and left the room. Soon after, Dean entered, sipping at a bottle of beer. He walked over and sat at the table, leaning back in his chair. 

“Whats up?” He asked. Mary chuckled lightly and shrugged. 

“Me and Sam found out we’re hunting a pagan god.” She sighed, shaking her head. Dean scoffed lightly and took another sip of beer. 

“I see.” He stated, nodding. Sam walked back into the room and took a seat back at his laptop, and paused when his phone started ringing. He took it out of his pocket, eyebrows raised in curiosity. He swiped it and put it up to his ear, and Dean watched with a cocked eyebrow. 

“Hey Jody.” Sam greeted the caller. “Uh…no, why?” Sam's face suddenly went pale, and he shut his jaw tightly like he does when he hears disturbing news. “W...what? What happened…?” 

Dean almost interrupted the conversation to ask what's wrong, but he allowed Sam to continue. 

“Oh…th...that's too bad. Did you burn the body already…? Okay, yeah, yeah no we’ll be there on Friday. Thanks Jody.” 

Sam hung up his phone and let out a long sigh, putting his hands into his face and running his fingers through his hair. 

“Who died?” Dean asked reluctantly, sipping at his beer again. Sam groaned and swept his hair back, looking at his mom and brother. 

“Eileen.” He winced. Dean drew in a sharp breath of surprise, and then shook his head, sighing. 

“Dammit…” 

“Eileen?” Mary asked, raising her eyebrows. Sam nodded. 

“Eileen Leahy. She's a friend…” He sighed, scowling. “Jody said she witnessed the last seconds...a hellhound ripped her to shreds.” He shuttered a bit, and then furrowed his brows. “A hellhound controlled by the British Men Of Letters.” 

“I fucking knew those crumpets were trouble.” Dean snarled, standing up. Sam huffed and shook his head. 

“We have a hunt right now, Dean.” He stated. “In fact, we should head over to the bar, see if we can find our god.” 

Dean scowled at his brother, but rolled his eyes and nodded. 

“Fine. Let's go.” 

  
  
  


They arrived at the bar. The two brothers gazing around in search for the blond haired deity. Sam had a bag with a jar of lambs blood along with a wooden stake from Gabriel hanging over his shoulder. 

Dean caught a glimpse of blond hair, and he walked over, Sam close behind. He then sat down in the seat next to the man, and noticed he was wearing an amulet with a symbol on it. It had a man with two faces engraved in the golden piece. 

“Nice amulet you've got there.” Dean purred in a fake tone, meanwhile Sam maneuvered around the other side of the man and sat down. The deity seemed to stiffen as if he sensed something strong, and after a few seconds, he smiled gently and looked at Dean. 

“You seem rather troubled.” He stated in a silky voice. Dean furrowed his brows and chuckled. 

“I'm just dandy, friend.” He cooed. 

“Please, call me Sancus.” The blond man replied sweetly. He snapped his fingers, and the two Winchesters suddenly found themselves in an empty bar, tied to chairs. 

“What the-” Dean began, but shut up as Sancus walked between the two brothers, smiling sweetly. 

“Hunters…” he purred. “It's cute you've tried to deal with me.” 

“We’re more than just hunters, sweetie.” Dean snarled. 

“We’ve taken down pagan gods you wouldn't stand a chance against.” Sam growled. Sancus giggled. 

“Yes, yes I know. I can see into those delicious little memories of yours.” 

“So what gets you off, huh?” Dean laughed. “You're the god of trust, aren't you? Why'd you make that woman kill and betray her sister?” 

“No, no no. I was helping...her sister deserved it.” Sancus cooed. “She betrayed her sister first, I was just getting back.” 

“Betrayal? She snuck money from a bank account! Does that mean she deserves to die!?” Sam spat. Sancus swayed close to Sam. 

“Betrayal is the biggest sin, my child.” He cooed. He walked over to Dean and leaned in close to his face, taking a deep breath. “And you, child, are full of it.” 

“I don't know what you're talking about.” Dean replied, smirking. Sancus stood straight again, pacing the floor. 

“Really, now?” He purred. “I know a story of a young boy who watched his mother burn alive before having to carry his baby brother outside. I know the story of this boy, who was so traumatized that he would crawl into his brother's crib in the middle of the night to hold him, protect him from whatever was out there- whatever did that to his mommy, and he’d stay up for hours, until the sun rose up.” The deity rambled, and Sam looked at Dean with a face full of shock and confusion. “I know the story of the four year old boy who walked in on his father shooting and killing a man, his far too young eyes witnessing an event other kids his age didn't know happened. I know the story of a young boy, six years old, learning how to shoot a gun and nailing each target spot on. I know the story of a small child being trained into a bloodthirsty killer with one purpose only; watch out for Sammy.”  

“Oh, what, is this gonna turn into you shaming me, reminding me about all the times I've failed my little brother? Sugar, no offense, but I already think about that every day. Yeah, sure, it haunts me, but I've learned how to keep a straight face.” Dean spat, looking slightly annoyed and aggravated. Sam felt horrified over what he was hearing, because Dean wasn't denying it. 

“This is the problem, Dean.” Sancus sighed. “You don't see what's actually happening here.” 

“Oh really, then what is?” Dean growled. 

“I'm here to help you, and teach you to stop accepting constant betrayals and lies.” The deity answered patiently, smiling with fake gentle kindness. 

“I don't know what you're talking about.” 

“Dean, I cannot think of a time in which you ever abandoned Sam to die, or just gave up easily. Even when he went in the cage, you were too shattered to even recover from it.” Sancus ran his fingers through Dean's hair. “But what about Sam…? Dean, let's face it, the kids been abandoning you over and over again since he turned eighteen.” Sancus released his grip on the demons hair, and walked near Sam. “Dear little Sammy Winchester. The boy who's too full of pride he can't see past his own nose! It may not be pride for his own image, no, no...it would be unnatural for a Winchester to not hate himself.” Sancus chuckled gently. “No, he's too prideful to look away from his ideas, his opinions. He's got his father's stubbornness and pride, but what does he have from his mother?” Sam couldn't speak and interrupt Sancus, something was preventing him. “Ah, yes. The fight or flight instinct. You know, where he either becomes violently passionate and protective about something, or he just runs away, like a coward.” 

“Are you going to keep monologuing and insulting my brother or can we go?” Dean sneered. Sancus chuckled and shook his head. 

“Dean, you have to understand how much of a liar and an unloyal coward your brother is. Yes...even in your demonic state, you'd die for him, wouldn't you?  Your soul is corrupted by hell itself, but you would gladly fling yourself back at the dogs for him. Dean, how old were you when you ran out of the house, your infant brother cradled in your arms after you witnessed your mother burn to death?” 

“...four.” 

“Right, the same age you walked in on him, pulling the trigger to a gun and shooting a man between the eyes. Yes...daddy changed after that, didn't he? He came home drunk constantly, yelling and slurring, threatening you, even! And what was the first thing you'd do when he was wasted and threatening you?” 

“Grab Sammy and put him somewhere safe.” Dean was now speaking an a monotone voice, dead. He seemed to almost be in a trance. Sam was horrified over what he was hearing. 

“Then what?” 

“Tell dad I'm sorry...or try to calm him down.” 

“Daddy didn't usually calm easily, did he? You took a few light kicks, huh? Never left a mark, except the mental ones.” Sam stared at Dean with his mouth agape in shock, but Sancus kept rambling. 

“Now, Dean, how old were you when you dressed up Sam for his first day of school and walked him there yourself?” 

“Eight.”

“Nothing an eight year old should ever have to do, considering dad was on a hunt and you were terrified for Sammy and yourself. Four years later, Sammy had only just figured out monsters were real! Seems unfair, doesn't it? When you were sixteen, you were given a chance to leave the hell you were raised into, why didn't you?” Sancus stared at Dean with vividly fake pity. “Why did you leave on the night of the dance, where the girl you shared your first kiss with would be waiting?” 

“Because Dad wanted me to go, and...I saw Sammy's unbuttoned sleeves, and only thought that it was my responsibility to take care of him.” Dean rasped. Sam knew Dean went to a boys home and liked it...but did he really leave for  _ him? _

“Dean, you're the older brother, aren't you? You raised Sammy, sheltered him away from the brutal hunter life, huh? Why're you still undersized, Dean? Why did Sammy sprout past you when he was about fifteen?” 

“I dunno.”

“Perhaps it was the fact that you starved yourself for him growing up? The fact that you gave him as much food affordable. You were willing to go hungry for him, along with steal food if you gambled money away. Maybe it's the fact he grew up healthy, when you grew a permanent habit of fast food and cheap things, to which your brother would dislike about you later.” Sancus sighed and shook his head, then grinned. “Now, let's get along to the real things. Dean, you wanted help from your brother- who abandoned you years before, of course. He eventually agreed, and then joined you in hunting once his girlfriend burned to a crisp. But, did he do it for you? Or did he do it for himself? To get the revenge he craved? Did he not constantly remind you how loyal you were to a terrible father, a factor within yourself that you couldn't help? A factor that was carved into you? Was it fair, Dean, that he bullied you for that?” 

“Dean, don't listen to him…” Sam finally managed to speak. Sancus shot him a glare, and snapped his fingers. Sam felt a piece of tape fly over his mouth. Satisfied, Sancus kept speaking. 

“Or, how about the first time he abandoned you during a hunt, one of the many times to come. You called so many times, Dean, but he didn't answer… but when he calls and you don't pick up, he knows you're in trouble, why is that? Is it because he knows that you wouldn't ignore him, that you're always there for him and the fact you didn't answer meant you were in peril?” 

Dean didn't respond. 

“Now, lets skip to the good part. Sammy died, didn't he? You held him, Dean, you held him, until Bobby had to drag you away. You didn't leave his side until you made that deal… you sat by his corpse, crying, drinking, and talking to him as if he wasn't dead, you did that for two days…And then you sold your soul to bring him back...you bargained with the demon until your life went down to one year.” Sam looked at Dean. He knew that Dean was devastated the first time he died, but did he really not eat or move for two days, and just talk to him? “Oh, and how much fun Hell was...he carved you into a monster, Alastair did…and what name did you scream at the top of your lungs every goddamn day in that pit?” 

“...Sammy.”

Sam felt as if he had been stabbed in the chest by Dean's answer. Was Dean really down there the entire time? Screaming his name…?

“Forty years down there...nightmares that still haunt you. You can still feel the blades running through your irises...your own intestines grinding through your teeth...and when you got back, what was Sam doing?” Sancus paced the floor and slowed by Dean, who didn't answer the question. The deity grabbed the demon by the face and leaned in. “WHAT WAS HE DOING!?” 

“Lying to me...right after I saw him for the first time...he lies straight to my face.” Dean finally answered, his voice brittle. 

“Not the best way to repay someone after they died and got tortured for forty years for you, is it? And what lies did you tell him during that year?” 

“I didn't remember hell.”

“Bad lying, too. Sammy saw you fidgeting and sometimes even screaming in your sleep...and why did you lie?” 

“I didn't want to think about it.” 

“No, my child, of course you didn't…no one wants to have to explain trauma that terrifying, that...painful.” Sancus ran his fingers through Dean's hair affectionately, smiling kindly. “But Sammy forced you to tell him about it eventually, right? He kept pushing, and pushing, and pushing until he gave up...and then you told him. Oh, how you broke down. You broke down  _ hard.”  _ Sancus pouted dramatically, and stepped back, pacing the floods. “But then...what did Sam do later on, when you two were dealing with a siren?” 

“He couldn't...we...we were-”

Sancus stomped his foot, scowling at the demon. Dean bit his lip. “He mocked me about hell.” 

“No matter what spell he was under, it was a spell to express the true thoughts. What kind of a brother thinks down on his own because he is badly damaged from trauma that would put most people into a mental hospital in a second?” Sancus sighed and shook his head. “There are so,  _ so  _ many betrayals from your brother. Now, what about when he came back and didn't tell you for a year?” 

  
  


Rowena studied through the Book Of The Damned carefully, smiling gently as she looked at the translations and the decoder, reading through the spells. She was nearly fluid in this book's language now, however a bit of help was occasionally needed. 

She scanned down a page talking about demons who are made artificially, and paused to read something that looked like it could help. 

“To heal a demon made with corrupted souls is to heal a cauldron of acid, however it is possible. The healer needs two souls, one recently damned, and one from the heavens. The souls must be brought back to life freshly, no staler than six days, then they must help the witch cast the spell.” 

Rowena read through the spell list, eager and excited about this. Dean being a demon was dangerous to her, however Dean himself was useful, so she couldn't kill him. This is how she could get what she wanted. 

She bookmarked the page and shut the book, cradling it into her arms and getting ready to call her son to inform him. 

  
  


“Let's talk about Purgatory.” 

Sam's heart sank at Sancus’s words, and he realized with horror that his brother had suddenly sat up straight, almost inhumane. 

“He left me to die.” He said automatically, as if he was a trained attack dog. Sancus grinned and nodded. 

“Very good, Dean! You're catching on!” He purred, smiling. He walked over and put a hand on Deans shoulder, and Sam quickly realized Dean must've been so worn down that he had submitted into the spell. His eyes were glazed over and dead looking, along with his expression. “Dean, tell me, what'd Sam do to help you in purgatory?” 

“Nothing.” Dean snarled. “Absolutely nothing. He left me to die, as if I was some disposable grunt. I can't blame him.” 

“But you can, sweetie!” Sancus cooed, cupping Dean's jaw. “He made you feel like this, so did your dad! What did Sam do to one of the only friends you had made that never, ever left you for a selfish reason?” 

“Sam drove away Benny. He tried to  _ kill him.  _ Benny is one of the nicest people I know.” Dean faced Sam, and Sam realized that he actually had tears rolling down his face. “He  _ died  _ for you.” 

“And what did Sam do to you a year later, Dean?” 

_ “He disowned me as a brother.”  _ Dean's voice was suddenly more brittle and shaky.  _ “He said he would be okay with me dying.”  _

“You see, what kind of brother says that to his own…?” Sancus sighed. “And the recent events...he stabbed you in the chest, Dean. _Stabbed you in the chest.”_ Sancus shook his head. “And now he's been going behind your back again, speaking to Rowena and Crowley.” Sancus put his hand on his chest. “Dean, why do you stay anywhere _near_ Sam? He keeps hurting you, lying to you…and he's too prideful to even _apologize.”_

The deity snapped his fingers, and the ropes around Dean disappeared. Sancus took out the wooden stake from his back pocket, and Sam noticed with surprise that it was already soaked in blood. The deity handed it to Dean, smiling. 

“Dean, I  _ trust _ you to do the right thing.” He said in a silky voice. “Kill Sam, he has it coming. He stabbed you in the heart just two weeks ago.” The deity grinned. “You deserve to give him the same treatment.” 

Dean took the stake, trembling slightly and gripping it tight in his hand. Sam stared at him with absolute fear, unable to speak through the duct tape as Dean walked forwards. 

 

Deans mind was racing with memories of Sam hurting him, in both mental and physical ways. His head was as if it were on fire, demonic instincts and the spell violently battling against his humanity. His skull pounded, and he looked at Sam, who was attempting to shout for mercy through duct tape. 

Everything in Dean's head screamed to kill his brother. 

 

“You know...he's put me through a lotta shit…” Dean breathed out, shaking his head and gripping the stake tightly. Sancus nodded, smiling. 

“And you can finally get your revenge.” He agreed. Dean nodded. 

 

He plunged the stake into the shocked body, stabbing him with force so strong that the tip had ripped through to the other side. 

  
  
  


“Must you summon me like this each time you wish to talk?” Crowley growled. Rowena grinned in a sickly sweet way, shrugging as she held her book close to her chest. 

“Fergus, its stylish, you must understand it.” She purred. Crowley scowled and stepped forwards, hands in his pockets. 

“Have you found a healing spell yet, mother?” He questioned in an impatient tone. Rowena gave a small giggle. 

“Fergus, eager to save yer ex boyfriend, are we?” She cooed. “I've been telling you, don't act so very desperate.  It's a turnoff fur men like the Winchesters.” 

“Do you have the spell or not!?” Crowley spat. Rowena sighed dramatically and nodded. 

“Of course I have the bloody spell!” She groaned. “I  _ am  _ the greatest witch ya know~!” 

Crowley groaned and rolled his eyes. 

  
  
  


“But he's gotten better.”

Sancus stared at Dean with a look of betrayal, coughing up blood and trembling as his soul flickered. Dean stepped back and watched as the deity fell to the ground, sputtering, and then going limp. 

 

Dean stood there, waiting for the pounding in his head to stop before he walked back over to Sam and untied him. 

He ripped the tape off of his brother in a rather painful way, causing Sam to grunt and look at Dean, panting. 

“Uh, okay, look-” 

Before Sam could finish, Dean swiftly swung around and punched his younger brother right in the cheek. Sam rubbed at the spot he had been hit, gasping and staring at Dean in confusion. 

Dean didn't say anything, he simply turned around and headed off to find his car. 

 

They weren't far from the bar. As soon as Dean saw baby, he hopped in and waited for Sam to pile into the passenger's seat, then began to drive. 

 

It was very, very silent. 

 

“Dean, we need to talk about this.” Sam stated dryly as they entered the kitchen. Dean swung open the fridge and grabbed a beer, scowling at his brother. 

“I'm good.” He replied, turning around and heading out. 

“Dean, wait.” Sam whimpered. Dean spun around, eyebrows raised. “Please.” 

“Oh, so now he's able to swallow his pride!” Dean scoffed. 

“You know what-” Sam begun, however he stopped himself, biting his lip and huffing. He looked at his brother. “Look, I just…” 

“Save it.” Dean growled, walking out of the room. “We can do this later. I'm going to bed.” 

Sam sighed after Dean exited. He ran his fingers through his hair, and then headed to his room. 

Dean walked into his room, and halted when he saw Cas, who perked up and looked at Dean with excitement. 

“Hello, Dean.” He greeted. “How was the hunt?” 

Dean shrugged and sat onto his bed, sighing. “It...it was good, Cas.” He replied, avoiding eye contact. “No offense, but I'd like to be alone right now.” 

Castiel seemed to sink a bit, frowning in disappointment. He nodded. 

“Alright.” He said, before walking out of the room and closing the door. 

Dean groaned at rubbed at his face. Pudding was curled up, asleep at the edge of his bed. Dean almost kicked him out too, but decided against it. 

He sighed and rubbed his temples, his skull still in pain after the spell. He knew the effects had worn off, but unfortunately, his demonic instincts hadn't. 

Dean would never want to hurt Sam, but with this corrupted and boiled soul of his, that was hard to avoid. Every single day he suffered with it, and after that spell, the effects were multiplied by about ten. He just wanted out. 

 

Sam was asleep in his room when he felt a creamy substance smack onto his face. He woke up and sat up immediately, seeing Gabriel standing there with a can of whipped cream and a shit-eating grin on his face. Sam groaned and wiped the cream off of his cheek. 

“Gabe? Dude, it's 3 am…” he rasped. Gabriel seemed to hold back a laugh, and he nodded. 

“Yeah, uh, the King Of Hell and his mom are here.” He responded in a crackly voice, obviously very amused by Sam's confusion. 

“Crowley and Rowena? What do they- oh!” Sam got up out of bed and threw on a shirt. He began to head out his room, but turned to face Gabriel again. “Also, if this is some sort of sex metaphor...stop.” 

“It is now, Sammy.” 

Sam groaned and walked away towards the library, where Crowley and Rowena stood. Rowena was smiling excitedly, her book in her arms, and Crowley seemed to be flirting with Cas- who had been there since Dean kicked him out of his room. 

“Did you get the treatment?” Sam asked optimistically, expression full of hope. Rowena grinned. 

“Of course I've got it, Samuel!” She chirped. Crowley huffed and looked to Sam. 

“It's got a couple of kinks in it, though.” 

“Did somebody say kinks?” Gabriel suddenly shouted, sauntering into the room with a grin. Sam rolled his eyes and then looked back to Crowley. 

“What's the issue?” He asked, bracing for a major conflict. Crowley smacked his lips and began pacing the floor. 

“We’ll be forced to resurrect two people, one recently damned to hell, and the other from heaven.” He stated. “I can get the hell soul, but first of all you don't know anyone freshly rotting there, second of all I don't have access to heaven.” 

“Well, I do.” Gabriel stated, smiling nervously. “Uh, is there...anyone you'd like to resurrect?” 

“Enough names to fill up a book.” Sam responded bitterly. “Problem is, I don't think any of them deserve to be dragged back into life. I've gotten to talk to most of them and they've seemed happy.” He sighed and went into deep thought, and then got struck with a realization. “Charlie.” 

“What?” Gabriel asked. 

“Charlie Bradbury. She didn't deserve what she got whatsoever and I'm sure she didn't  _ want  _ to die.” Sam responded, suddenly hopeful. 

“Oh, great.” Rowena snarled. “I get to work with the incompetent nerd again.” 

“Hey!” Sam spat. “That nerd is the one who solved the coding for that book, not you.” 

Rowena rolled her eyes and scowled, and then Crowley looked at Sam. 

“I assume you don't know anyone in hell currently that just got a ticket?” He asked. Sam paused for a second. 

“I think I might have a theory…” he said slowly. “Do you know anyone by the name of Eileen Leahy?” 

“Oh boy.” Crowley groaned. “That case is a  _ mess.  _ She's like the rabbit the hellhound dragged in without getting the order.” He looked at sam with a puzzled face. “Why, you know her?” 

“Yeah, I was going to head out to her wake tomorrow…” he stated. “But now, I can head over there for a different reason.” Sam grinned a bunch, excited. “So, Charlie and Eileen.” 

“I can work on Charlie's vessel.” Cas finally spoke up. “She and I are….besties, as she called it.” 

“Alright, this is great!” Sam smiled. “I'll go wake Dean and tell him the plan.” 

 

Sam knocked on his brother's door, still nervous about the state the Demon was left in. Gabriel and Cas were out getting Charlie to resurrect her. 

“Dean! Hey, uh...we have a plan to heal you.” He shouted. Dean didn't answer, and Sam scoffed and rolled his eyes. “You better not be naked…” 

Sam swung open the door, and his light mood immediately drained once he saw that his brothers bed was empty, and his pictures and a few of his weapons pinned to his wall were gone. 

Sam turned on the light and walked into the room, to which Pudding immediately walked over and butted his head against Sam. Confused, Sam walked over to his brothers bed, and saw a sticky note on his pillow. 

  
  
  


“Don't look for me.” 

  
  
  



	14. Deans Got Bad Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang try to make a cure for Dean. A very British face shows up and Dean does stuff that you can only do in a rated R movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: EXTREMELY DETAILED AND INTENSE GORE.

One of the hardest things about abandoning the bunker was when Pudding woke up slightly when Dean had began packing, curious as to what his human was doing or where he was going. Or perhaps it was sneaking past Cas, the angel that he had feelings for to which he didn't understand, feelings that made him want to hold on and never let go. 

But never letting go was just useless now. He knew it would end up being for nothing. He knew that, eventually, he'd hurt the people he loved. 

He drove off and away from the bunker in the impala, into heavy rain and dark night. 

It wasn't more than twenty minutes later when Sam had called his phone. Of course, Dean had canceled it right away. After a few more times, he got a text. 

 

Sam: Dude please don't do this. 

Sam: We can fix this please just hang on a little longer 

Sam: Dean I know you're getting these 

_ You have now blocked this number.  _

Sam: We just found a healing spell, please Dean we can heal and cure you now. 

 

Of course, Dean didn't get the last text after he had blocked his brother from texting him. Guilt weighed in his gut as he drove, and drove, and drove. 

He made sure to pick the second motel in the phone book, and then planned to himself to try to hunt the hellhound that killed Eileen. 

 

Dean set his bag down onto the motel bed and walked into the bathroom to wash his face, trying to cool off from the fear and hatred slowly growing in him. He looked into the mirror, and not only did he feel the regular self hatred, but he felt a huge weight of loneliness on his shoulders. 

 

Dean was alone, all by himself in the bathroom of a shitty motel. 

 

How did he ever get like this? 

  
  


"Y̵our p͢roblem i̵s that ̢no̕b̡ody hates҉ ̢you m͘ơr̶e ͜t̡ha̛n̡ ͠y͝o̵u̢ do̴." 

 

Dean stared into his own black, demonic eyes, hatred for himself blasting through his skull. How could anyone even stand him…?

 

"̵You ̨c͞a͝r̨ry͠ ̵so̸ ͏mu̕ch ̷s̵t̢u̷f̨f t͜ha̛t͟ you ͏d̴o͜n̡t nęed ͝to҉.͏.."͠ ̷

͢"Ye̸ah̨,͝ ̨well͡ I ̵a̸m 90%͞ ͏c̴r̷a͢p̨."

 

Dean bit his lip and gripped tightly onto the edge of the sink in frustration, beginning to tremble. 

 

"I ̵me͜an̨,̧ n̸o͢ ͘o̢n͞e̢ c͞a̢n save y̶ou b̕ec҉a̷us̢e̛ ҉yo̴u͠ d͢on̛'t ͝w̷a̕n̡t ҉t̵o be sa̕v̶ed. ͜I ̸m̛e͠an͏, ͠h͡o̵w̢ ͠co̕u̴ld ͟y̷oų car͘e ͝s̡o l͏ittlę abou̕t̕ you͟rs̢el҉f̸..҉.͝?͏ ̛W͘ha̵ts ͞w̴r̸ong ͜wi͞th y̶ǫu...͞?"

 

Dean barely realized it, but he had grabbed a mug from the counter in the bathroom that held toiletries, and smashed it onto the ground, shattering the porcelain. 

 

"Y̡ea͘h?̨ A͡nd͜ ̷w͘h͝y̢ w͡o͢u͏ld̢ a͟n a̵n͞gel̢ ̷rescu͏e ̡me͢ fro̕m̨ ̷h̷e͠l̶l?"

"Yo̵u ҉t͡h͢i̛n̴k̡ you̡ d͡o͘n̷'͟t̡ de̛s̸e҉rv̧e ͜to͝ b̨e̛ s͘ave͜d̛...͡?̷" ̛

 

Dean exited the bathroom, and then immediately kicked his foot at the wall, not even flinching when it had gone through the plaster.  

 

"Dad'͠s de̕ad b͏ec͢au̸s̢e͠ of̢ m͡e̵.̷.̛.͡I̢ was̛ DE͢A̡D. I̸ s̷ho͝u͢l҉d̷'ve̵ stayed dea͜d̷..." ̕

 

Dean grabbed a pillow off of his bed, panting and shredding it with almost no problem, then threw it to the ground and stood as feathers flew into the air and spun around him. 

 

"T̛his̡ is ̶y̨o͝ur ͜probl̸e̕m͝, ̨D̷ean.̧.̸.͞Y̡o͜u̕ ͡ha͝ve ͏no҉ ̵faith͘."̨ ͠

 

Dean grabbed the corners of the coffee table and lifted, tilting it over and breaking it with ease. 

 

"You̴r ͝o͡wn FAT͞HER͘ d͠idn'͟t g͘i͏vę ҉a ͜dąmn ͟if ̢y̴ou died̴,̸ ̵WHY ͏SHOULD̷ Y͘OU̵!?͞"̢

 

Dean felt tears begin to prick at his eyes as he took the cable box from the tv and held it in his hands, his eyes going pitch black as he snapped it with his own two hands. His demonic powers started to get him. He walked into the bathroom. 

 

"̷I'͘͜͞m͝͠ ̧̛PO̶҉I̸͠S͘͝O̵͢N̡,͟ ̵̢͢S̴͢A͞͏M̶͘̕MY̷͜! ̕P͝ęo͘͝p͡ļ̴e͟ g͡e̶t̨͟ ̕͘c̡l͘͢ose͞ ̶̡t͟͡o͟͞ me,̵̴͠ ̷̨t̡h̴e̷y̛ ҉g̵e̷͟t҉ ̧K̷I͜L͜͡͝L̨̨͘ED̛͢͡!̧ ̶͡Or̨ ̸̶w͢͢or͡͠sę̛҉..҉̢.̨͝!"̸

 

Dean choked on tears, and stared into the mirror that showed himself. His awful, terrible self. 

The demon let out a cry and swung at the mirror, shattering it with his fist. 

 

"̢Sa̷m, įf y͜ou ̧br̸i̕ng ͢up ͠D͜ad'̸s d͏eath o͜ne ͝morȩ ̧tim͏e̴ I ͝S̕WE̸AR͡-"̸

"̸D̡e͘an! Dean, ҉pļe̵as͘e.҉ Its ͟k͞i͢l̕ling y͜o̢u.̷.̷.̷! Pl̵eas͘e.̧..̶" 

 

Dean stared at his reflection in the broken glass, almost horrified, but then he swung again. 

 

"I̛f͡ ͢the̷rę's͡ ̡a go͟d out҉ there̴,͡ wh͞y ͡wou̵ld ͘he ̡g̛i͡ve ̸a ̸C͢ŖA̴P͘ a̵b̕o̕ut҉ ͘M͜E̷?̴!̸" 

 

Dean grit his teeth and began to rapidly punch at his own reflection, the shattered glass falling and his fists beginning to get cut up. 

 

"Insi͘d̷e, ̕y̵o͜u͜r̶ h͜eart..̢.I͜t'͏s D̛EAD.̵" ҉

 

Dean had begun to lose control, slamming his first into the shattered glass over and over again, and kept going even as he felt warm and sticky liquid running through his fingers. 

 

"I͜ w͝i̶s̴h̸͘͜ ̧̨͞I͢͟͢ ̷̧c̛͜ơ̢u̢͡l̢͝d̴̷͡n͏̡'t ͢͞f͞e͞e͏l҉͟ ̧̕a͟nyt̢h͡͡͝in̶ģ,͡ ̕̕͝S͘a̵͞͏m͜m͟͟y̴.͞͡.̢.̡͝I̢ ̛̕w̧i҉͟s̨h ̢͏I̴ ̛͞c͞o͞u͘҉͘l̵̡d̛͝n̛'̕͝t̨ ̢̛f̴͝eel҉ ̢ą͡ ̛̛d̵am҉̵n̶ ҉͜t̷͘h͘i͘n͏҉g̸..͏.͞"̢҉͜

 

Dean broke down, cupping his face into his hands and sobbing until he could finally regain control. The mirror was barely even there anymore, however he could still faintly see his reflection. 

Blood coated his face from when he put his hands onto it, and he grimaced, wincing. 

He washed his face and didn't bother dealing with his fists. 

 

There was a knock at his door, and Dean cocked his pistol. He gazed through the peephole in his door, and felt anger boil in him when he saw Mick Davies standing there in wait, backlit and barely visible in the barely rising sun and the rain. 

Dean swung open the door, and immediately put the pistol up to the Men Of Letter.  

“Give me one good reason not to blow your brains out right here and now. You have five seconds.” 

“AGH! I-I-” Mick stammered, looking at Dean with wide eyes. “I-I'm here to help!” 

“Help?” Dean scoffed. “I have many problems, and your people are one of them. You're down to two seconds.” 

“BECAUSEICANHELPDESTROYTHBRITTISHMENOFLETTERS!” 

Dean didn't lower his gun, but he raised an eyebrow in interest. 

“Uhhuh…” he growled. “How do I know you're not totally bullshitting me?” 

Mick nodded and reached into his pocket grabbing a broken, wirery device, and then handed it to Dean. 

“The hell is this…?” He asked. 

“The tracker that we installed in the impala when you two weren't looking.” Mick replied proudly. Dean furrowed his brows, and then dropped it onto the ground and stepped on it to be sure it was dead. 

“Okay…so you've betrayed your book club, why?” 

“I didn't enjoy what we were doing. I found it sickening...tracking people without permission, killing people who refuse to join us, killing basically anything that isn't completely human for that matter.” Mick replied, looking at the ground. “I dislike where our path is going, and so I've decided to join you and take them down.” 

Dean stared down at Mick, and then shoved him into the motel room. 

“Take off your jacket.” He said. Mick nodded and took it off, and Dean grabbed it from him, shaking it and searching it for weapons. He then patted Mick down, making sure the man didn't have any demon harming weapons on him. Afterwards, he nodded in satisfaction. 

“Sure, whatever. Just don't contact Sam, or anyone for that manner.” He finally growled. Mick nodded and smiled with pride and relief. 

“Thank you…” The British man gazed around the room in surprise, examining the entirety of the broken and messy area. He drew in a short breath. “What happened to your room, mate?” 

“Not important.” Dean growled, walking over to his bed and sitting down. Mick walked over and looked at him. 

“Bloody hell...your fists are coated in wounds.” 

“Also not important.” Dean replied. He ran his fingers through his hair, wincing a bit. 

He felt really, really uneasy, as if he were floaty or he couldn't grip reality. It felt like hell and he was just really, really tired. 

“You have glass in your knuckles.” Mick pointed out, inching closer. “You sure you don't want me to help, mate?” 

“Do whatever you want.” Dean responded in a defeated, drained voice. Mick walked into the bathroom to get toilet paper as a gauze, and then came back, suddenly looking almost concerned. 

“You look as if you're dissociating or something.” He stated, unaware of how annoying he sounded. “You're not addicted to anything, are you? Could you maybe be having withdrawals?” 

“Well I  _ have  _ been getting shot up with human blood once a day.” The demon replied simply. “But they're all regular doses or whatever…I shouldn't be addicted.” 

“Yes, however when the body gets used to a small amount of an addictive substance, and then it stops regularly receiving that substance in an abrupt manner, it will be extremely confused and start gaining withdrawal symptoms. You know, dissociation, headaches, exhaustion, frustration, sensory overload, etc...Human blood to demons is quite a lot like adderall, really-” 

“Can you shut up.” 

“Yesunderstandableokay” 

  
  
  


“I can't believe I let this happen.” 

Sam was pacing the floor of the bunkers library, his eyes puffy and red from stress and exhaustion as he ran his fingers through his hair. Rowena, Gabriel and Mary sat at the table as they tried to figure out what to do. 

“Look, Cas is healing up Charlie as we speak, and Crowley's getting Eileen's soul. We can worry about Dean after bringing them back.” Gabriel spoke up, huffing. Mary sighed and shook her head. 

“Why would he just run away like that…? Are you sure you checked with the first motel in the phone book to see if he was there?” 

“Y-yeah...he's burying his tracks, that's for sure…” Sam replied. He looked to the archangel, frowning. “This would be around the time he'd get the human blood. What if he starts freaking out?” 

“My apologies, human blood…?” Rowena scoffed, crossing her arms. “What the bloody hell do ya think yer doin?” 

“It's a sedative for him.” Gabriel responded, sighing. “It keeps down his demonic instincts.” 

“Great, do not only are we missing a demonic Winchester, but he also hasn't taken his vitamins.” Rowena scoffed. Gabriel sighed and got up, rubbing at his face. Sam stared at him. 

“Where’re you going…?” He questioned wearily. The archangel looked back to the tall human and sighed. 

“I'm just gonna check on Cas.” He responded casually, before he snapped his fingers and disappeared. 

“Well, he's no dark prince, but he still has lots of perks~” Rowena purred, eying the spot Gabriel had left with hunger. 

  
  
  


Dean sat on his bed, polishing his blade whilst Mick sat on the motel floor and sorted together a map of the Men Of Letters base, along with where all the weapons would be and all the traps. Dean suddenly perked up and narrowed his eyes, frowning. 

“You can come out, yknow. I can sense your power.” 

Gabriel walked out of the bathroom, smiling lightly at Dean and gesturing towards the wreckage and his fists. 

“Somebody have a tantrum?” He scoffed in amusement. The demon continued to narrow his eyes at the archangel, who sighed. 

“So, you here to take me back to Sammy?” Dean questioned, raising an eyebrow. Gabriel sighed and shook his head. 

“Nope. I've got a better job for you.” He replied. 

Mick stood up on his feet, eying the archangel up and down. 

“You're Gabriel,” He finally said. Gabriel nodded and smirked. 

“One and only.” He responded, giving the British man finger guns. “And you're Mick Davies...traitor of your own kind. Welcome aboard, kiddo.” 

“How'd you find us?” Dean questioned, raising an eyebrow as he continued to polish his knife. Gabriel sighed and shrugged. 

“Well, when Sammy stabbed you in the chest a while back, it kinda broke the warding in your ribs.” He stated. “Just a smidge broken, but it still lets archangels like  _ me  _ track ya.” 

“Great.” Dean growled sarcastically. “So, whaddya want?” 

“I want what you're prepping for at the exact moment.” Gabriel responded, smiling proudly. “British Men Of Letters, wiped out Hamilton style.” 

“That  _ is  _ a good musical.” Mick laughed a tad, however quieted down when Dean glared at him. 

“Okay, and how do you suppose we do that?” He finally asked. Gabriel smiled and pointed at the demon. 

“Glad you asked, Deanmon.” 

  
  
  


Castiel sat in a room full of Christmas decorations and music, however it was empty of participants.

Except one. 

Charlie lay on the floor, her neck snapped and broken, and a stab wound on her belly. Gabriel had healed her burned vessel to the state it had been in before she had died, and then put the soul back on the vessel itself, and left Cas to heal the rest of the injuries. 

Castiel kneeled down next to Charlie, placing two fingers onto the redheads forehead and concentrating. Slowly, he felt as her neckbone snapped back into place and healed, and her stab wound slowly but surely closed. Concentrating a little harder, the stab wound fully closed, and Cas waited for the girl to awaken. 

It didn't take long, of course, Charlie always was strong. She winced a bit and her eyes opened slowly, and she stared up at the angel, at first in confusion, and then in complete shock. 

“C-Castiel…!?” She breathed. Cas smiled gently and nodded, and then she immediately wrapped her arms around him and embraced him tightly. “Oh my god- I-I can't believe you're here! What're you doing here!?” She scooted back and grinned in disbelief. 

“I'm here to resurrect you.” Castiel responded slowly. Charlie looked shocked for a second, and then looked concerned. 

“Why…? Is it the Winchesters…? Do they need me…!?” 

“Yes, they do...they aren't in a great place.” Castiel stated. “Dean is a demon currently, and he has a fatal wound that needs healing. We need two freshly resurrected people to do it.” 

Charlie seemed to shrink in devastation. 

“The mark...it isn't fixed…?” She breathed, horrified. “I...I-I thought I decoded the book…” 

“What…? No- NO! Charlie, the mark is gone! You saved Dean from a terrible, terrible fate!” Cas suddenly rambled. “It's just a different thing now...it's a long story having to do with them dying...a lot of things.” 

“Well, you can tell me later.” Charlie grinned, proud. “Right now, I have to go save my big adopted brother.” 

Castiel smiled at Charlie gently, and then grabbed her by the shoulder, and brought her back to earth. 

 

They stood in the bunker, Sam suddenly jumping back in surprise as he saw the angel and Charlie appear in the library. The redhead smirked at the taller Winchester. 

“What's up, bitches?” 

  
  
  


“So...you're telling me that Micks gonna go take off some warding in the base so you can sneak out all their demon and angel killing weapons, and then you're going to lock up the base and let me lose like a wild, murderous pitbull?”

“Essentially, yeah.” 

Gabriel and Dean stared at each other. The demon groaned and ran his fingers through his hair, shaking his head. 

“You realize I'll come out looking like a thriller reject, right?” He replied finally. 

“That's the least of the problems.” Mick spoke up. “Going on a murder spree that tremendous  _ will  _ corrupt you in an extraordinary manner. If you think you're demonic now, wait until you slaughter an entire base of people…”

“If you've got a better plan, I'm all ears.” Gabriel shrugged. Mick rolled his eyes and Dean narrowed his own. 

“I'm in.” He finally said. Mick shifted uncomfortable and huffed, nodding. 

“You can count me in.” 

Gabriel grinned at the two of them, proud. 

“Let's get started right away, then!” 

  
  
  


“Charlie…” Sam breathed. Charlie nodded, giggling and running up to him in utter joy and excitement. Sam hugged her and swept her off of her feet, laughing and smiling for the first time in half a day. He spun around and then set her down, nervously smiling. “You're back…!” 

“Yup!” She chirped, smiling with pride. She gazed around the room, scowling at Rowena. “What's  _ she  _ doing here?” 

“Unfortunately, we need her for the spell.” Sam sighed. Charlie scowled, but then caught a glimpse of Mary. “Who's she…?” 

“Oh! Uh…” Sam inched to Mary's direction, who got up from her seat and walked over to Charlie, putting her hand out. 

“My names Mary.” She stated. Charlie had already grabbed her hand, but stopped abruptly as she heard the name. 

“Mary…Winchester…?” 

Sam laughed nervously and nodded, shrugging. 

“Yeah.” He replied. Mary nodded as well, smiling. 

“I've heard quite a bit about you.” She told Charlie, who's face almost matched her hair once she had said that. She looked at Sam in disbelief, still grasping Mary's hand. 

“Holy shit…” she whispered. A huge, dorky grin grew onto her face and her eyes lit up in excitement. “Holy shit!” 

Before she knew it, Charlie had embraced Mary in a hug, grinning ear to ear. “It's so nice to meet you!” 

“Yes- uh- nice to meet you too!” Mary laughed awkwardly. Charlie pulled back from Mary finally, and inhaled a deep breath. 

“So...uh...I heard you're bringing someone else back, right…?” She finally stated, sighing. “Who?”

“Oh, you uh…y-you don't really know her…” Sam laughed. “Her names Eileen. We met her about a year ago...and her funeral was supposed to be about tomorrow.” 

“Speaking of which.” Mary interrupted. “We need to head over there. Jodys waiting for us so we can bring her back to life.” 

“Oh- right. Yeah.” Sam breathed, nodding and walking to the table. “Ready for a road trip, Charlie?” 

“Uh...dudes…” Charlie began, raising her eyebrow. “Where's Dean…? Is he locked up in the dungeon somewhere…?” 

Sam halted, sighing and gritting his teeth slightly as he looked down. 

“Deans currently...missing.”

“Oh.” Charlie breathed, looking down. She bit her lip but then looked up at her big brother, full of determination. “Don't worry. We’ll find him.” 

Sam laughed nervously and nodded, uplifted by Charlie's optimism. 

“I hope so.” 

  
  
  


Dean waited about a mile away from the base for the BMoL, exhaling and staying alert. 

“Boo!” 

Dean spun around, pistol aimed at Gabriel's forehead. The archangel and Mick sat in the back seat of the impala, which they suddenly appeared in due to teleportation. Gabriel's smirk didn't falter, however Mick flinched slightly. 

“Good to see you're prepared!” Gabriel chuckled. Dean scoffed and rolled his eyes. 

“Did you get the weapons?” He asked. Gabriel nodded proudly. 

“Of course!” 

“Good.” Dean growled. “Okay, zap me into their nerd hut, and then shut it down. I've got all my weapons in my bag.” 

“Youuu got it!” Gabriel chirped. He reached for Deans forehead, and the demon braced himself. 

Dean was suddenly in a very clean looking base, and near him, some British woman let out a yelp in surprise. Dean quickly silenced her scream in alarm by slitting her throat, and then covering her mouth as she bled out onto his shirt. 

Immediately after she went limp, the building went dark, and began to blare a red light and an alarm. This was the signal that everything was now locked down completely. 

Panicked voices were heard throughout the base, and then loud footsteps. He saw multiple men run down the halls and surround him, guns aimed all around. 

“HANDS IN THE AIR!” 

“GET ON YOUR KNEES!” 

Surrender commands were heard everywhere, and Dean glanced around. There had to be at least fifteen armed men surrounding him, watching his every move. 

 

_ Dean stood back to back with Benny in Purgatory, his senses more alert than ever. Behind him, his vampire friend was whistling the tune of In The Hall Of The Mountain King, a tune that he had grown to adore whilst hanging out with Benny.  _

_ There was a snarl, and a vampire jumped out at him, teeth bared and already biting into Dean's flesh. Dean let out a cry in rage and grabbed the vamp by the neck, and then flipped him over his shoulder. Benny, prepared, had already disarmed the vampire and cut his hand off. Dean grinned, and swung his blade, separating the head and the body in one swift blow.  _

_ Dean suddenly felt an intense pain on his back, and realized another vamp had attacked him. Dean snarled in laugher and fell onto his back, crushing the vampire and causing it to yelp in pain. He twisted out of its grasp and the stomped his foot onto hits chest, swinging his blade down and cutting the vampire head right in half.  _

 

Dean opened his pitch black eyes, and offered a smile towards all of the  Men Of Letters. There were shouts in surprise, and suddenly, Dean felt multiple bullets rip through his flesh. 

White hot pain boiled inside of him, but more memories of Purgatory flashed through his mind. He let out a laugh and then allowed his rage to explode out of him, his demonic powers causing a few of the men to fly and hit the walls like magnets to a fridge. 

Dean charged towards the nearest man, feeling more bullets tear through his body as he high-kicked the mans chin. Everything went on slow motion for him, and he dug his blade into the beginning of the man's throat, and then ripped down, down, down until he got to the end of the belly. 

 

_ “Remember, being messy and brutal is what makes you more powerful! Show the enemy who's boss! Never allow them to underestimate your power, or your potential for gorey, painful deaths that'll make them wish they were never born! Intimidation is key!”  _

 

Alastair's words rung in Dean's head as he let out a laugh and kicked the man to the ground, not flinching as organs showed through the wound. Dean spun around, calculating exactly where the next opponent would be, and then slicing through their neck with the blade Benny had given him. The man's head immediately tumbled to the ground, and multiple people in the hall began to chant an exorcism. 

Lucky for him, Gabriel branded him with a symbol that would keep his soul inside of his vessel no matter what unless it was tampered with. 

He turned to the next man, swiftly cutting off his hand that held a pistol, and then grabbed the weapon, gripping it tightly and then shooting the man between the eyes with ease. He drained the guns round on other bystanders, and once it was empty, he used the butt to break someone's nose, and then slash their neck open. 

Two men remained, and Dean was prepared when one charged for him. He slashed the man's belly deeply. 

Fire pounded in his skull. Demonic instincts screeching for gorier and gorier tactics. He didn't just want to kill anymore,  _ he wanted to have fun.   _

Dean gripped his hand inside of the mans wound and tug out his intestines, pulling them more and more out, and then wrapped them around the other man's neck, choking him. 

The screaming he was still hearing faded as he walked down the hallway, searching for more people. 

Dean felt something prick into his neck, and realized he had been shot with some sort of sedative. It didn't work on him, of course, but he began to see things before his eyes. 

_ “Dean, it's your fault we’ve gone through all this! Jess is dead because of you! I'm suffering because of you! How could you do this to me!? I'm your little brother! You're supposed to look after me!!”  _

Sam's voice rung in his head as he gazed around. 

_ “Dean, I fell from Heaven for you, and how do you repay me? You treat me like garbage, and you avoid me. What makes you think I could ever love you after everything you've done to me…?”  _

Castiel's voice burned in his skull, and Dean caught a glimpse of a woman he recognized slightly. 

Toni stood there, smiling. 

“Hello hello!” She chirped. She pulled out her gun and aimed. “Take one more step, I dare you.” 

Dean let out a loud laugh, ignoring the voices of his loved ones screeching in the back of his head. 

“You're cute, really, you are.” He purred, limping over to her. He barely noticed, but he knew his leg was broken, and his torso was full of at least seventeen bullets. Toni began to back up, but Dean grinned, his eyes still black as he threw her to the wall with his demonic powers. She let out a yelp of surprise, and struggled against the magic. 

Dean walked right up to the woman, and caressed her face with his blade. 

“You tortured Sammy.” He cooed, getting up close to her face. “Now you're going to pay with a slow, painful death.” 

 

Toni's screaming never did leave his eardrums, and neither did the imagery of watching himself tear out her heart as she screeched for mercy, but it was over with. 

  
  
  


“Er- Jody, this is Charlie Bradbury. Charlie, this is our friend...Jody.” 

Sam introduced his two friends once they arrived at the cabin. Jodys face lit up with kindness as she shook Charlie's hand, smiling. 

“It's a pleasure to meet you!” She greeted. Charlie laughed nervously and nodded, grinning. 

“Same to you too!” She chirped. Everyone walked inside, including Cas, Mary, and Rowena, and they all gathered around a blanket-covered corpse. 

“Is this Eileen…?” Charlie asked. Sam sighed and nodded. 

“‘M here.” 

Everyone spun around to see Gabriel standing there, smiling nervously. He perked up slightly and walked over to Charlie, putting a hand out. “Hiya! The names Gabriel!” 

“Gabriel...as in...the archangel…?” Charlie asked hesitantly. Gabriel nodded proudly. 

“In the flesh!” He sang. Charlie looked at him for a short while, aaaand then backhanded him in the face. 

“OW!” The archangel yelped. 

“That's for the Tuesday's.” Charlie growled. She then inched closer and hugged him tightly. “And this is for redeeming yourself as a good person.” 

As Charlie hugged him, Gabriel looked at Sam with loads of confusion, and got a stifled laugh from the moose in return. 

“So,” suddenly said a gravely voice. Everyone turned to see Crowley there, wearing the usual smug expression. “Who's ready to resurrect some puppy chow?” 

  
  
  


“No- please- d-” 

Dean stepped on the neck of his 30th victim or so- he lost count. The demon made sure not to slip on scattered organs or decapitated heads as he exited the hall. He was walking until he saw himself in a glass window. 

He was soaked toe to tip in blood, and he was coated in terrible, terrible injuries, as if he had just gotten tortured by the original teacher himself. 

Dean continued his walking towards the bosses office, cocking his pistol and stashing his blade away as he kicked open the door. 

“No- open up a portal!  _ Anything! Just get me the bloody hell out of here!”  _

The boss was shouting into her phone before Dean had broken in. Quickly, he shot the computer, breaking the call. The woman yelled and backed up. 

“Please! I'll give you anything! Just don't kill me!” 

Dean scoffed in amusement, aiming his pistol. 

“I don't know who you think I am, but I'm a demon, and you killed a good friend.” He replied coyly. 

“And what do-” 

Before she could finish, the excited demon pulled the trigger to the pistol, shooting the queen between her eyes. 

“I'm impressed.” Said a voice. 

Dean spun around and saw Ketch standing there, arms crossed as he smiled. “Course, your vessel is worse for wear…I mean, look at you.” 

Dean looked down a bit at his vessel, seeing his torso was slicked with sticky crimson and full of bullet wounds. He laughed and looked at Ketch. 

“Don't know what you're talking about, Ketch. I look handsome as hell.” 

“Unfortunately,” Ketch began, ignoring the demons witty comeback. “I wish to make it out of here alive, so I've brought a friend.” 

Ketch whistled, and loud snarling was heard as a very, very large hellhound stepped out from behind him. “I trust you know this specific dog well, you know. The one who dragged you to hell in the first place…? He also made sure to do the same for Eileen.”

Dean felt a white-hot rage boil inside of him as he stared into those eyes once again. The sticky, skeleton-like dog growled in return, eyeing Dean up and down in a hungry manner. Dean's eyes went pitch black and he grinned. 

“Have fun being dragged back to hell!” Ketch purred, whistling. The hellhound charged at Dean, but Dean was far, far too ready for this moment.  

Dean pulled out the knife that Gabriel warned him not to bring, the demon blade, and slid out of the dogs direction. It skid on the floor and jumped at Dean, who nicked it with the blade in the cheek. The hound yelped and raked his claws down Dean's chest, causing him to scream in agony, however it turned into more of a laugh as he slit its throat. 

Black blood oozed down his shirt, but the hellhound was still kicking as he reared back and aimed for another attack. 

Everything seemed to go in slow motion as the hellhound leapt to Dean. 

Dean stuck his blade into the chin of the hound, and ran forwards as it jumped over his head, raking the blade down its chin to its belly. 

There was a sickening sound as the hellhound screeched in pain, and then didn't land on its feet as it collapsed to the floor, soul flickering. It panted and breathed for air as it's black and sticky organs fell out of the wound, and suddenly, the beast went limp. Dean stared at it for a while, and then looked back to Ketch, who was in utter disbelief. 

“You've made…” Dean panted, limping towards the human. “A big mistake.”

  
  
  


Rowena stood next to the corpse, muttering some sort of chant as Crowley had begun to shove the soul in with Gabriel's help. Charlie stuck close to Sam's side in caution, neither of the humans aware of what to expect. 

Rowena took out some herbs and began sprinkling them around the body, which was now starting to glow through the wounds on her body. Castiel rested a hand on the corpse's forehead, and her wounds began to heal much, much faster. 

“Yknow, I never thought I'd get to experience this type of thing.” Jody muttered, crossing her arms. “I almost regret telling Donna to take Alex and Claire out to the mall today. They would've loved this.” 

Rowena's chanting got louder and louder, and then, finally, the corpse stopped glowing, perfectly healed as well as breathing. 

 

Eileen's eyes flew open, and she gazed around in confusion. She was just getting killed by a hellhound…what happened? 

She sat up and looked around, then flinched as she recognized Sam standing in front of her, a shy smile on his face as he waved.  

“Hey…” his lips read, curving up into a smile. She looked around to see multiple people around her, and then looked to Sam again. 

“Wh...what's going on…?” She slurred. Sam sighed and walked towards her, smiling faintly. 

“This is going to confuse you a bit,

So I apologize in advance.” 

 


	15. Blood and bullets can be healed by feathers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets captured.

“This is all...really, really messed up.” Eileen breathed, but she smiled at Sam, almost proud. “But...you saved me.” 

“Eileen, how much do you remember…?” Sam's lips read, his usual concerned face apparent. Eileen thought hard, and shrugged. 

“I was getting killed by a hellhound.” She replied. Sam did that weird jaw thing he always does when nervous and looked at the older redhead in the room, speaking something she couldn't read. Meanwhile, the younger(and very attractive) redhead stared at Eileen, and smiled nervously. She walked up and inhaled a bit. 

“I'm...I'm sorry…are you...deaf…?” She asked. Eileen smiled nervously and nodded, and the girls eyes lit up. 

Suddenly, to Eileen's excitement and joy, the girl began to sign fluidly. 

“Hi! My names Charlie Rad-Berry, sorry if my last name is a bit weird, but they didn't really have a version of mine in the language, so this is as close as I can get.” Charlie was smiling widely as she signed, looking at Eileen. “Nice to meet you! I was brought back to life, too! Except...I've been dead longer. Sorry for rambling, I just really think you're cute.” 

Eileen felt heat rush up to her face, and noticed Charlie's own cheeks turn red as her hair. She started to sign more. 

“Wait, did I just say that? Crap, sorry. That was probably stupid. Okay, so-” 

Eileen, by this point, burst out giggling at Charlie tripping over herself in words. Charlie stopped signing for a second, and then started giggling nervously. 

“It's okay.” Eileen signed. “You're totally the hottest girl in this room right now.” 

Charlie's blush somehow deepened as she seemed to be at a lost for words. After a few seconds of thinking, she signed again. 

“After we finish saving Dean's ass, want to go get a drink or something? Maybe a movie?” 

Eileen grinned ear to ear, and nodded. 

“I'd love that!” 

 

Sam could only faintly pay attention to what they were saying(they were talking along with the words that they signed), due to the fact that he was talking to Rowena. 

“You moved her memory of hell…!? How?” He questioned in astonishment. Rowena smirked and sighed dramatically. 

“Well, I can't have a mentally scarred person helping me with a spell, can I? So, basically I transferred all of her memories to a... _ friend... _ of mine.” She purred, smiling in a sickening way at Sam. 

“Rowena...you...you can't just do tha-” 

“I suggest we move on from this argument.” Crowley interrupted, eying the witch and human. “We have a demonic Winchester to save.” 

“Yeah, okay you're right.” Sam nodded, sighing. “Lets g- where's Gabriel…?” 

  
  
  


Gabriel flew back into the BMoL base, and saw Dean on the camera, along with multiple bodies scattered about the building. He could sense no other life forces except the Deans, so he unlocked the base and flew to the demon. 

 

Dean was panting as he stood over Ketchs body, which was in several pieces on the floor. The head of the man was torn off with his bare hands, and his lungs and heart were on the blood slicked tile. His torso was split down the middle in a rough, brutal fashion. 

Everything in his vessel stung like hell, and he was coated in blood, sticky like a candy. He didn't even flinch as Gabriel zapped before him, smiling proudly. 

“Great work.” He said. “Go now. I'll clean up this mess.” 

Dean had already lunged at Gabriel violently, but he got teleported back into the impala. Mick was nowhere in sight. Smart move. 

Uncertain as to where to head off to next, Dean began driving in the direction that seemed to fill him with the most ease and comfort. 

  
  
  
  


Sam, Charlie, Eileen, Cas, and Mary all sat in the library, hacking into different security cameras and websites in search for Dean. Sam casually caught his two friends up on what they missed. 

“You...fought gods sister…?” Charlie breathed. Sam laughed nervously and shrugged, nodding a tad. Charlie grinned slightly. “Was she hot?”

“What? No- er- well, I mean, kinda? I guess? I didn't pay attention, she was terrifying.” Sam laughed. 

“Also, Chuck is god…?” Charlie asked reluctantly. Sam nodded, and Charlie slammed her hands down onto the table. 

“I KNEW IT!” She screeched, grinning ear to ear. Sam stared with wide eyes, and Charlie shrugged, smiling. “What? It was kinda obvious…” 

Their conversation was interrupted when Gabriel suddenly appeared, smiling at the group proudly. Sam glared at him. 

“Where the hell have you been?” He asked. Gabriel shrugged and walked over to the table, sighing and sitting down. 

“I was poking around for the Deanmon.” He replied casually. Sam rolled his eyes. 

“Please don't call him that…” he groaned. Charlie actually giggled a bit. 

“I like it, though!” She chirped. Next to her, Eileen prodded her in the shoulder and subtly asked for her to explain the pun, to which Charlie nodded and began to sign her an explanation. Sam watched them both fondly. 

“Castiel, are you okay?” 

Sam turned his head to see Mary looking at Cas with a concerned expression, eyebrows raised. Sam only just now realized that Cas looked absolutely stressed and exhausted, still carefully reading through the lore. 

“I'm fine.” He growled, not taking his eyes off of the pages he was reading. Sam cleared his throat and focused more on the angel. 

“Cas, you look exhausted.” He pointed out. Castiel scowled and shrugged. 

“A price to pay while we search for Dean Winchester.” He replied in a salty tone. Sam sighed and nodded. 

“Okay, you're right. I'm going to go back to trying to hack this ca-” 

“I'm in.” Charlie interrupted, a smug grin on her face as she turned her laptop to face Sam.  

“Damn.” Sam replied, chuckling a bit in amazement. “I forgot how stupidly talented you were at hacking.” 

“It's a burden that I accept~!” Charlie said in an amused tone. 

  
  
  


Dean found himself at Jody's cabin, pulling into the front yard and entering the house without invitation. He limped through the entrance, and then immediately found that he was stuck. He looked up to see a devil's trap, and groaned. 

“Donna? Are you guys home?” 

Jody walked in from the kitchen, however she froze in her tracks at the sight of Dean, and immediately covered her mouth. 

“Dean…?” She asked this in a voice as if she wasn't sure, and it quaked with shock and fear. Dean seemed to remember how injured he was, and realized there was a puddle of blood surrounding his feet. 

“Hey.” Dean rasped, inhaling slightly and stopping as blood caught in his throat. Jody stared at him, and began to reach for her phone. Dean realized what she was doing immediately. “Wait, Jody, p...please don't call Sam.” 

“What makes you think I'm not going to talk your brother when he's looking for you and I've found you in a dead corpse!?” Jody squeaked in return, horrified. “Look at you! You're practically falling apart!” 

“I'm aware.” Dean replied calmly, gazing around. “You can't call Sam, though. Please, just don't.” 

“You sound different…” Jody breathed, backing up. “You really,  _ really  _ don't sound like yourself.” 

“My apologies, Jody, but my vessel is kinda shredded.” Dean replied in what should've been a sarcastic tone, however ended up being more monotone and more alike to Castiel. He sat down on the floor and sighed, running his crimson fingers through his hair, which was clotted with dried blood. Jody hesitantly inched over to him, and then sat on the ground as well. 

“What happened…?” She asked the demon, not looking him in the eyes. Dean could tell why, due to the fact that he hadn't been able to turn the black off for a while. 

“I raided the British Men Of Letters.” Dean deadpanned. “Killed all of them.” 

Jody stared at him with wide eyes, and backed up slightly, standing up from the ground. Dean sighed. “Jody, I know it sounds bad, but-” 

“It is bad, Dean! You killed an entire base of people!” Jody suddenly spat. She took out her phone again and began to call someone. 

  
  
  
  


Sam's phone began ringing, and he swiped the answer button as soon as he saw it was from Jody. He turned it on speaker phone. 

“Hey Jody, what's up?” He answered. The room of people seemed to lean closer to the phone in anticipation, everyone going silent, however Charlie faced Eileen ready to translate what she hears. 

“Uh- h-hey, Sam...uh…” Jody sounded rather upset, as if she were very  disturbed something. “Uh...I have good news and bad news.” 

“Okay, well good news first.” Sam sighed, bracing for whatever happened. 

“I found Dean.” Jody stammered. Sam's expression lit up in excitement, and a sigh of relief flooded the room. 

“That's great! What's...what's the bad news…?” 

“Uh.” Jody paused for a second, and then reluctantly continued. “He's in my living room under the devil's trap...and...he's dripping in both his own blood and others.” 

The room paused, and Sam's face went pale as he ran his fingers through his hair and clenched his jaw. 

“Okay.” Sam sighed. He looked at Cas. “Castiel will be over there in a second. Gabe, Mary and I are on our way.” He stated. Cas nodded and disappeared within a second, and then Jody hung up. Sam looked to Mary and Gabriel. “Let's go.” 

“Hold on.” Charlie stood up, Eileen next to her. “We’re coming too.” 

“No.” Sam replied strictly. “Charlie, this is extremely dangerous. Dean is really out of it right now, we have  _ no  _ idea what he's gonna do.”

“So we catch him off guard.” Eileen replied. “He won't expect us, we’re dead.” 

Sam paused, and clenched his jaw as he drew in a sharp breath. Then he nodded and shrugged, beginning to walk to the garage. 

“Alright, fine. Let's go.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Dean seemed to perk up as soon as Cas showed up. The angel walked towards Dean and halted as soon as he laid eyes on the demon. 

A pang caught in his chest as he saw the human he loved most so damaged, so hurt…. 

Multiple bullet wounds were in his torso, and a few in his legs. Large, animal like wounds were raked across his face, chest, and shoulder. His lip and face was busted open. An ear seemed to of been shot through, however the other seemed to be bitten and ripped.  One of his eyes were normal, a dull green that was glossed over, while his other was pitch black, and slightly leaking an inky black fluid. 

“I-I don't know what happened to his eye…” Jody stammered. “It wasn't like that when I called you guys.” 

Castiel hesitantly approached Dean, fearful of how he would act. The demon gave the angel an out of character smile, something didn't feel right. 

“Hey Cas.” Dean choked a bit, seemingly looking as if the pain from his wounds just caught up with him. “Good to see you.” 

“It's his soul.” Castiel told Jody, not paying attention to the demon. “It's been so manipulated for the past couple of weeks, and now it's become weak, vulnerable.” The angel sighed. “When you corrupt a soul artificially, it will already be unstable and weak. Giving it dosages of human blood has acted like a drug, and since it's been removed, it's caused his soul to breakdown more. The sudden wave of violence towards it probably didn't help either.” 

“So...he's literally leaking his soul…?” Jody asked hesitantly, horrified. Castiel nodded, frowning and stepping into the devil's trap to face Dean closer. 

“You stink of hellhound.” The angel stated. Dean smirked. 

“Killed the one at the base. Fun fact, it was the one who dragged me to hell years ago.” He explained proudly, his voice still fragile. 

“Why can't you just zap him out of here, Castiel?” Jody asked slowly. Cas looked back to her and sighed. 

“Carrying his soul while it's in this state would be dangerous for him. He could die during the process.” He explained. Jody nodded, and took out her phone. 

“I'm gonna text Donna and tell her to enter through the backdoor instead of the front.” She stated. Castiel nodded and went back to observing Dean. 

“Dean, how would your rate your current pain on a scale of one to ten?” He asked. 

“Ten, but it's easy to ignore.” Dean replied smugly. Castiel would've called him out on flawed logic- but he probably wasn't lying. Vessels could be absolutely shattered and the one possessing it could still bare through it easily if they were some supernatural spirit. 

“Dean, I'm sorry this happened…all of it.” Cas attempted to swallow the lump of guilt that had formed in his throat. “This is all my fault. If...if I hadn't let Crowley do this to you…” 

He trailed off, and instead changed the subject. “Have you attempted to remove the bullets from your wounds yet?” 

“No.” Dean answered duly. Castiel nodded and then looked to Jody, who had just entered back into the room. 

“Could you please get some tweezers and gauze, Jody?” 

“Uh...yeah. Of course.” Jody nodded and then exited the room once again, and Cas gazed at Dean. The demon didn't seem to be hostile at the moment, luckily. 

  
  
  
  


Sam drove the old car with Gabriel in the passenger seat, and the three girls in the back. He had already called Crowley and Rowena to alert them that Dean would be back at the bunker soon. 

His mind was racing as he drove legally as fast as he could. 

“How did I even let this happen…” he muttered. Gabriel looked at him with slight pity. 

“It's not your fault, Sam.” He stated carefully. Sam bit his lip and shook his head. 

“How, Gabe? Because I know that if I didn't do this shit to Dean, he wouldn't of taken off and go on a killing spree or whatever.” Sam replied bitterly. 

“Look, the British Men of Letters already pissed him off, so it's their fault that he went to go kill them.” Gabriel replied. 

“Men of Letters…?” Sam asked slowly. Gabriel quickly realized the mistake he had just made. “How'd you know that he attacked  _ them?”  _

“Jody told us.” Gabriel lied quickly. 

“I don't remember that.” Mary finally spoke up. All of the color drained from Gabriel's face, and Sam took his eyes off the road to look the archangel in the eyes. 

“You knew.” He rasped. “Gabriel, what did you do…?” 

“What I had to.” Gabe responded in a bitter tone. “We had a bomb about to go off, it would've been stupid not to use it.” 

“That's exactly what a demon once said about  _ me,  _ Gabriel!” Sam spat. “What makes you think I'm willing to use my brother like that!? He could've died!” 

“I disposed of all the weapons that could harm him.” Gabriel scoffed. 

“So what!? Jody said he was dripping with blood! Not only is he going to have to suffer with how many people he killed, but he's going to be in extraordinary pain!” Sam shouted. 

“Hey, Dudes?” Charlie interrupted, holding onto Eileen's hand. “We should focus on the task at hand, arguing with each other will just make things worse.”

Sam opened his mouth to object, however then he shut it, huffing and then stepping on the gas pedal harder. 

  
  
  


Cas wasn't sure what would be more unsettling, Dean screaming in pain from bullets being removed, or Dean attempting to attack him out malice or frustration. 

It turns out that neither was the answer. 

Dean was quiet and still as Cas removed the bullets from his vessel. 

He had finished, and dried his bloody hands after shoving the last bit of gauze on. Dean looked at Cas curiously. 

“You know what interests me the most about you, Cas?” He suddenly purred. 

“What's that?” Castiel asked hesitantly, fearful for how Dean would answer. 

“I've always had this...connection to you, yknow? Since I first met you, I thought I knew you well...but we had never met before.” The demon mockingly sighed. 

“That's strange.” Castiel replied, feeling a painful stab of guilt in his gut. Dean smirked in a self satisfied sort of way. Cas knew that Dean had a wall in his memories that was practically impossible to break, but what if he knew…?  _ Did he know…?  _

His thought was interrupted when the back foot to the cabin opened, and the voices of three people entered the room. 

“We’re home, Jody!” Donna chirped out in her sweet, pure voice. 

“Hey, welcome back. Oh- Claire, don't go over there.” 

“I already know about  _ Dean,  _ Jody.” 

“I know you know, which is why I'm rather upset that I have to tell you to  _ stay away.”  _

“Hey! Cmon, I won't bite hard!” Dean laughed in their direction. Castiel felt fear pent up as he realized that Dean was getting more aggressive, more awake. 

Cas knew how rebellious Claire was, which is why it wasn't such a surprise when the teenager stomped her way into the front entrance room. 

The second she saw Dean, she stopped in her tracks, horrified. 

“Fucking hell…did you go through a meat grinder or something!?” 

“I went through British people.” Dean laughed, giving her the finger guns. Alex walked from behind Claire, and stared at Dean with the same expression. 

“What's wrong with his eye…?” She breathed. 

“It's his soul. It's leaking out.” Castiel responded cautiously, looking at Dean with concern. 

“Damn, he's almost an emo meme that Alex would post on her instagram.” Claire laughed. “‘The pitch black void is the color of my soul~’” she then said in a mocking voice, and burst out laughing when Alex stepped on her foot. 

“Claire, this is serious.” Jody snarled as she walked into the room, scowling at her two adopted daughters. “Anyways, Sam and everyone else will be here in an hour. I would say to do a bit of cleaning, but…” her eyes trailed to the demon in front of her door. “I don't think it's necessary for this occasion.” 

“Great, little bro here to take me away!” Dean laughed. “What's he gonna do, huh? Chain me up? Make me suffer and wait for a cure that doesn't even exist!?” 

“It  _ does  _ exist.” Cas growled. “Rowena found one.” 

“Right, because we should trust her.” Dean chuckled bitterly. “Can't you just let me go…? I won't even go after any of you, promise!” 

“No.” Said everyone that was currently in the room. 

“Tough crowd.” Dean shrugged. 

“Dean, you still care about us.” Cas stated, frowning. “I can tell because you haven't tried to kill me yet.” 

“Oh, that's just because I like you.” Dean purred. “You know for a fact that I'm going to beat the hell outta Sammy when I get the chance.” 

Castiel felt as if a cold chill went through his veins, but he ignored it and scowled at Dean. 

“This isn't Dean talking.” Claire suddenly burst out. Jody gave her a warning glance. 

“Claire, you shouldn't get into thi-” 

“Oh really, sunshine?” Dean laughed. He smirked at her deviously. “It's not like I'm possessed. It's me, I'm just a bit different, y'know?” The demon glared at Claire and then stood up onto his feet. “I'm the same ol Dean! I'm not possessed, y'know, unlike what happened to your daddy.” 

“HOW DARE YOU!?” Claire suddenly bristled in anger. She charged towards Dean, however Jody and Alex both grabbed onto her to restrain her. Dean let out a laugh, flashing a self satisfied grin. 

“Not a fan anymore, are you?” Dean chuckled. Claire drew in a shaky breath and narrowed her eyes. 

“Once you heal from this shit, the first thing I'm doing is kicking you in the babymaker.” She snarled. Dean gave an amused giggle at the teen, and Castiel put a hand on the demon's shoulder. 

 

About an hour passed when the back door clicked open once again, and multiple voices were heard. Specifically Sam's. 

“Where's Dean!?” He asked frantically. Jody must've gestured towards the entrance room, because next thing Castiel saw was the extremely tall man rushing over. 

 

Sam halted as he caught sight of Dean. His entire core went cold as he stared at the bloody, broken corpse of his brother. Guilt formed a knot in his throat as he walked closer, clenching his jaw and attempting to keep breathing properly. 

“D...Dean…?” He breathed out finally, attempting to step closer. Cas walked forward to Sam, and rested a hand on the man's shoulder in comfort. Sam barely noticed the angels gesture, however, and he walked forward more until he was rather close to the devil's trap. “Dean…? Are...a-are you...alright…?” 

Dean, who seemed to begin trembling at the sight of Sam, suddenly threw on a grin. He began to chuckle gently. 

“Sammy, glad you made it!” He purred weakly. “I was just telling Cas about how I would beat your head against concrete until your skull caved in.” 

Sam took a step back and stared at Dean with shock and horror. Cas gripped the man's shoulder again. 

“Remember, he's unstable right now. He's not Dean anymore.” The angel warned. Sam grit his teeth and nodded, breathing heavily. 

“I can't believe I let this happen…” he rasped, biting his lip. 

“Let it happen?” Dean snorted. “Sammy, you're the one who  _ carved  _ me into this. You didn't just let it happen, you  _ made it happen.”  _

Sam drew in a sharp breath and shook his head, tears beginning to form in his eyes as he stared at his big brother. 

“I know, and I… I-I'm so sorry…” 

There were footsteps, and Mary walked into the room. She saw Dean and shut her eyes, going pale and attempting to act like she didn't see him. 

“Dean, we need you to cooperate.” She pleaded. Dean let out a loud laugh. 

“My mom's bossing me around now, huh?” He scoffed. “I always wanted that. Yknow, a mother figure. But no, I had to  _ be  _ the mother figure.” 

Mary turned away from the demon, covering her mouth. Soon, Charlie and Eileen walked into the room, and the smirk on Dean's face slipped right off. 

“Well I'll be damned.” He breathed in amazement. Eileen stepped back, however Charlie stepped forward, taking a deep breath and looking Dean right in the eyes. 

“Dean.” She began, her voice full of absolute fear. “It's Charlie. I...I-I know there's a part of you in there that's still you...I know you can still hear me, a-and I want you to know, I-I forgive you…” 

Deans expression hardened, and he narrowed his eyes at Sam. 

“ _ He's  _ the one that got you killed.” Dean snarled. Charlie drew in a quick, panicked breath and shook her head. 

“Wh- n-no! No! Neither of you did. P-please! Dean, just…” She paused, and then took another deep breath. “Please...I need you to just...cooperate. We all love you, and you need to let us help.” 

Dean looked at her thoughtfully, a violent expression searching his mind. 

“I can't.” He growled. 

“Too late.” Sam rasped. 

Suddenly, Dean was in cuffs- enochian engraved. Cas held the demons wrists and fastened them, while the demons good eye went pitch black and he let out a roar in anger. Charlie flinched back a couple of steps next to Eileen and Sam, and Cas began to shove the demon out the front door. Sam followed, and looked to the rest of the group. They nodded without words, understanding and going back to drive the other car home. 

 

Gabriel was waiting by the impala, and immediately grabbed the other side of the demon to help shove him in the back. Cas sat next to the Dean, whilst Sam and Gabe sat up front. 

Dean fidgeted and panted for a second as if he were a caged, wild animal, but then he seemed to calm down. The demon panted and glared at Cas. 

“What's wrong with his eye, Cas?” Sam asked, turning on the impala. Cas sighed, having to explain this once again. 

“It's his soul, it's leaking due to the weakness of it by now.” The angel replied. Sam winced slightly and began to drive away from the cabin. 

“Weak soul means fragile, y'know.” Dean laughed. “You think you'll be able to heal me with such a crumbly soul?” 

“We’re going to cast the repair spell, first…” Sam replied in a tired voice. “You'll be healed enough.” 

However, Sam wasn't so sure about this. What if they couldn't save Dean. What if the treatment would just…melt his soul and kill him…? 

“It's going to work.” Sam spoke up once again. “It has to.” 


	16. Prisoner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets babysat. Perhaps Gay shit happens.

They arrived back to the bunker eventually, and immediately cuffed Dean to the chair in the dungeon, being sure that the demon wouldn't escape. 

 

Sam took first watch. There was a lot to collect for the healing spell, so they had a lot of time on their hands. 

 

“Sammy, I know you can hear me.” 

Dean had been rambling about god knows what and Sam just pretended he couldn't hear. “Why’re you ignoring me, Sammy? Afraid to look at what you did to your brother…?” 

Sam grit his teeth and shut his eyes as Dean spoke. Guilt weighed on his shoulders.  

“Are you treating Charlie this way too?” Dean purred. “You did kill her, after all. I'm surprised she doesn't hate you.” 

After a while, Sam looked at Dean, a fake smile plastered on his face. 

“You know what?” He chuckled. “This isn't my brother. You're trying to get to me so you can escape.” 

“Well, that's obvious.” Dean laughed in return. “But it's so easy, yknow? All I gotta do is tell the truth.” 

  
  
  


Charlie sat at a table in the library, catching up and reading Supernatural fanfiction. Was it weird she did that? It's not like she read the smut, or anything with Wincest. 

Okay, maybe Destiel or Sabriel fluff, but that's  _ it.  _

She was in the middle of a scene where Dean was about to confess his love for Cas, when she felt a tap on her shoulder. 

Charlie made a peep! noise and slammed her laptop shut, then turned to look at Eileen, whose brows were furrowed in confusion. 

“What the hell were you reading?” She signed. Charlie laughed nervously. 

“Nothing. Just fanfiction.” She signed in reply. 

“Okay, why did it say Dean and Cas?” Eileen questioned, narrowing her eyes. Charlie gasped gently. 

“You don't know!” She signed frantically. 

“Know what?” Eileen asked. 

“Supernatural!” Charlie was doing her best not to burst into flames from excitement. She opened her laptop and pulled up the website, then explained. “A while back, a prophet of the lord was tasked to write about the Winchesters! There's an entire book series that extends for about five years!” 

“Holy shit.” Eileen stared at the screen and absentmindedly signed. 

“I can pirate a PDF for all of them if you want!” Charlie replied when Eileen looked at her again. 

“Are you crazy!?” Eileen laughed. “Of course I want to read all of them!” 

Charlie lit up in excitement, and then frantically began to search and hack in the computer. Meanwhile, she heard a little ‘purdt!’ Sound, and looked next to her laptop. 

A blue-gray, hairless cat had jumped onto the counter, head tilted in curiosity. 

“Oh my god!” Charlie squealed. She grinned very hard and put out a hand for the cat to sniff, who trotted forward and immediately rubbed its face against her palm. “You're so friendly! Hello, baby! Who are you??” 

“That's Pudding.” 

Mary had just walked into the room, smiling in amusement. “He belongs to Dean.” 

“Dean got a cat!?” Charlie squeaked. Eileen must've noticed Puddings existence, because she had begun to pet the cat, too, smiling with amazement. 

“Yeah, from a case he and Sam worked about two weeks ago.” Mary replied. “He's really friendly. Deans allergic to cats, so this ones perfect for him.” 

“This is the purest thing I have ever heard.” Charlie squealed. 

  
  
  


Gabriel was on the next watch. The first thing he did was grab a chair, and sit in it backwards to watch Dean in an uncomfortable manner. Dean laughed. 

“Why don't you pull another betrayal and break me out?” The demon laughed. Gabriel shrugged. 

“I'm good.” He replied with a smug expression. Dean shook his head and laughed. 

“So, Lucifer's back in the cage with Michael, Raphael is dead, and you're working with  _ Winchesters.”  _ He scoffed. 

“What can I say? You guys are like my idols.” Gabriel chuckled. “You're the ones who taught me to stop running and stand up to my family.” 

“We taught you to stop running?” Dean raised his eyebrows. “Really…? Are you  _ sure  _ you stopped running?” 

Gabriel sat up a tad straighter, raising a brow and cocked his head. 

“No idea what you're talking about, compadres.” He replied, scoffing in amusement. 

“Don't play stupid.” Dean laughed. “You never seemed to have to adjust to everything. In fact, it's as if you  _ knew  _ everything that had happened.” 

“Dad told me.” Gabriel responded quickly, losing his confident structure. 

“Or maybe you were aware the whole time.” Dean stated. “Maybe, you've been alive this whole time.” 

“You're an idiot.” Gabriel laughed. 

“You're not denying.” Dean shrugged. 

The archangel and the demon stared at eachother for a long, long time. 

“You know I can always read you like an open book. Sam's going to be pissed.” Dean finally snickered. Gabriel narrowed his eyes. 

“He won't believe you.” He replied stoically. 

“Sammy knows I'm a man of my word.” The demon growled, flashing a grin. He laughed at the angel. “You're scared of making Sammy mad, aren't ya? He didn't talk to you in the car, so he obviously figured out our deal.” Dean chuckled a bit, shaking his head. “You like my brother, yet you keep doing things to mess up your chances. Make him mad. He hates you, Gabriel.” 

The archangel suddenly stood up and held out his palm towards Dean, forcing memories of hell into the demon's mind. Dean let out a scream in pain and agony, but it then turned into disturbing cackling. 

“H-he's  _ never  _ going to love you, Gabriel!” The demon shrieked in eerie laughter. Gabe forced another memory through the demons skull, and Dean let out a roar in pain. 

_ “GABRIEL!”  _

Gabe stopped abruptly as soon as Sam ran into the room, and immediately slid onto his knees to shake Dean out of the trance. “Dean! Dean, hey, heyheyhey it's alright…” 

Dean opened his black eyes, panting and glaring at his brother. The demon grit his teeth and then attempted to attack his brother, however Sam jumped back in time. Dean panted and barred his teeth at Sam, who turned to face Gabriel. 

“What do you think you're doing?” He spat. Gabriel flinched back, panting in anger akin to the demon. 

“He...he was…” Gabriel began, but stopped. “Look, i'm sorry. I...I-I shouldn't of lost my temper with him.” 

Sam stared at Gabriel in astonishment, and then looked at Dean. 

“Is everything okay?” Castiel had suddenly walked in, concern plastering his expression. Sam nodded, slowly looking away from the demon. 

“Yeah, uh, Cas, can you take the shift?” He asked. The angel nodded and turned the chair Gabriel had sat in around, and sat to watch Dean. Sam gave a nod and dragged Gabriel out of the dungeon until they reached his room. 

 

“Gabriel, what's up?” He sighed, looking down at the archangel. Gabriel rose his eyebrows. 

“I don't know what you mean, Sammy.” 

“Seriously.” Sam growled. The archangel sighed heavily and shrugged. 

“Look, Sam. I care about you a lot, both of you.” He began. 

“Doesn't feel like you give a damn for Dean.” Sam shrugged. Gabriel bit his lip. 

“I do, I-I mean, I really do.” He stammered, looking at the ground. “But...I-I just don't want you to go through what I did, yknow? I  _ know  _ what it's like to have the big bro who goes dark side. It's an experience that only ends in bad decisions and heartbreak.” The archangel took a deep breath. “And...I'm scared that you'd just end up running away like I did.” 

“Gabriel,” Sam begun, however he paused, not knowing what to say. “Look, Dean isn't going darkside. We can fix him, we  _ are  _ going to fix him, once Rowena and Crowley get the ingredients.” Sam looked down at Gabriel, and sighed. “Gabe, Dean isn't like Lucifer, okay? And he won't treat me like Lucifer treated you.”

“How do you know that?” Gabriel winced. 

“I know because…” Sam trailed off, and took a deep breath. “Just cause.” 

  
  


“Your reaction to what I said yesterday was interesting, y'know.” Dean rasped, smirking at Cas. 

“You said many things yesterday.” Cas replied, shrugging. “I don't know which one you're talking about.” 

“Yknow, the one where I said that I've always felt like I've known you, y'know?” Dean replied. “Like, when I first met you I got deja vu or whatever.” 

“Strange.” Cas said simply, avoiding eye contact. Dean huffed in annoyance and looked away from the angel. Cas looked at the demon in confusion. “It's interesting.” The angel stated. “You torment Gabriel and Sam constantly, but don't bother with me.” 

“Well,” Dean began, and then suddenly looked as though he developed a solemn expression. “You don't leave me. You've never left me for something I did or something I've become. You've made some terrible, terrible mistakes, yeah, but you've...you've never left me  _ for who I was.”  _

  
  


“Sam…” Gabriel stared up at the human, and sighed. “You and Dean...you taught me how to be brave and...and stand up to my big brother. You taught me to have faith in humanity.” 

The archangel stepped back and leaned against the wall in frustration, rubbing his face and then stepping forward again. He gazed back up at the human. “You've always amused me, and...I've never known how to interact with you. I still don't, which is why I mess up so much. I'm use to just doing...y'know, whatever...I never meant to be so bad to you, honestly it was the last thing I wanted. Everything I've ever done to you was supposed to be good but...I've gotten so caught up in the heat of the moment that I've messed up horribly.” 

Sam stared at Gabriel, his face at first dumbstruck, and then it turned to be rather blank. He stared down at the archangel. 

“...did you just fucking quote Asia at me?” 

The two of them stared at eachother for what seemed like eternity, until the corners of Sam's mouth lifted up slightly and he began laughing, and Gabriel burst into laughter as well. 

  
  


Cas stared at Dean, who seemed to be surprised or even mad at himself. The demon bit his lip and looked at the angel. 

“I just want to leave.” He rasped. 

“Dean, with how your soul is leaking, you'll  _ die  _ if you leave.” Castiel replied, staring at Dean in grief. 

“What if I don't care?” The demon suddenly spat. “What if that's what I want?” 

Castiel stared at Dean in shock, not able to come up with a response. 

“Let me die, Cas.” Dean rasped. 

“No.” Castiel replied slowly, still staring at Dean. 

“Cas.” Dean growled. “Look man, I'm not even supposed...I've died  _ so  _ many times, Cas. I deserve to finally be at peace.” 

“That's selfish.” Cas growled, narrowing his eyes at Dean. “The world needs all the Winchesters it can get, like I told you before.” 

“Sam and Mary, maybe. But me?” Dean laughed bitterly. “I'm a grunt. I kill, steal, lie, cheat, hustle, and I do more harm than good.” 

“That's not true.” Castiel spat. “You've saved the world multiple times, and-” the angel cut himself off, biting his lip and cringing slightly. “You...you're the most important thing to me, Dean. I've been here for billions and billions of years, yet...I-I can't think of a better time than with you.” 

The angel stared at Dean, tears forming in his eyes. 

“I love you.” 

  
  


“Sam, Rowena's here!” 

Mary called out to her youngest son as soon as she opened the bunker's entrance to see the witch. Rowena stepped in proudly, her book in her arms and a backpack stuffed to the brim of ingredients. 

“Good to see you too, Mrs. Winchester~!” She cooed, walking inside and already making her way to the dungeon. Sam stepped out with Gabriel by his side, and for once, looked happy to see the witch. They walked to the library, where Eileen and Charlie were, and Sam signaled for them to follow. 

Cas stood up from his chair as they walked into the dungeon, and Sam couldn't help but notice that the angel had red, watery eyes. Dean seemed to be calmer and more stoic than before, but immediately perked up and barred his teeth once everyone entered the room, laughing at the humans. 

“This isn't gonna work~!” He mocked. 

“We’ll see, deary.” Rowena purred. The witch set her bag down on the table that Sam had pulled over, and began to organize and set out ingredients. “Adder's Tongue, Allspice, Apple Bark, Burdock Root, Celandtine, Devils Shoestring, Fuzzy Weed, Larkspur, angel feather, bones of an elder rabbit, heart of a demon, daisies… all we need now is recently resurrected blood and recently damned blood!” 

“On it.” Charlie nodded. 

“Want me to go first..?” Eileen spoke as she signed. Charlie shook her head. 

“It's fine.” She replied, signing for Eileen and then grabbing the bowl where the blood would go into. She took a knife and cut her hand, letting her blood drip into the bowl. Eileen followed suit, cutting her hand and bled into the bowl, then gave a shy smile when Charlie wrapped a bandana around her palm. 

“Okay. Are we good?” Sam asked eagerly. Rowena nodded, smiling slyly. 

“Of course, deary! But, this room is crowded.” She replied. Sam gave her a Signature Bitch Face, to which she dramatically put a hand on her chest, mouth agape. “What!? I can't do this magic with all these people breathing down my throat!” 

“Fine, I'll leave.” Mary shrugged, walking out of the dungeon. Cas followed her without speaking, and Gabriel shrugged, patting Sam on the shoulder. 

“Good luck.” He smiled. Sam blushed slightly, but then went back to focusing on the task at hand after the archangel left. 

 

One by one, Rowena gently tossed each herb into the bowl and grounded them with the blood whilst Charlie and Eileen put daisies into Dean's messy, bloody clotted hair(Rowena had insisted it was a part of the spell, but Sam could tell she just wanted to have Dean look all flowery. If his brother wasn't all twisted and mangled up, it probably would've worked). 

Rowena then put in the demon heart, along with the feather, and then the rabbit bones. A small bit of glowing red mist rose from the dish, and then she began to chant. 

“sana sunt daemonium corrupta…sana sunt daemonium corrupta...” 

After a few more times of her repeating this, she had dipped her fingers into the mixture she had made and walked over to Dean, who snarled at her. Sam rushed over and held Dean's head still so the demon wouldn't attack Rowena as she worked. 

The witch used her fingers to paint some sort of symbol on it, and then began to chant louder. 

_ “sana sunt daemonium corrupta…sana sunt daemonium corrupta...”  _

Dean grit his teeth, and let out a yell in pain- to which Sam started to get anxious. Rowena kept chanting and chanting, until- 

“ _ SANA SUNT DAEMONIUM CORRUPTA!”  _

Red mist filled the room, and vanished as quickly as it had shown up. Sam backed up and looked to Dean. 

The demons clothes were still blood soaked, however where his wounds originally were, they were now gentle, white seams. 

The demon himself was panting, as if the spell took a lot out of him. He opened his eyes, and to no surprise, they were still black. His right eye was also still dripping soul juice, which made Sam uneasy. 

“Is he healed fully…?” Sam asked Rowena. 

“To full extent, yes. He is...still slightly damaged in the soul, but that should be stopped with the blood ritual.” 

The witch packed up her supplies, and then began to head out. 

“Good work, everyone.” She cooed, leaving the dungeon. Sam felt a hand land onto his shoulder, and turned to see Charlie, who was grinning ear to ear. 

“Sam, it worked!” She squealed. “Deans gonna end up being okay!” 

“Yeah…” Sam breathed, a smile finally growing onto his face. Relief and utter joy began to fill him. “Yeah, I-I guess so!” 

 

Sam ran out of the dungeon and into the library, seeing Gabriel waiting with Mary and Cas. The archangel perked up in curiosity and got up from the table he was sitting on. He had barely taken one step before Sam bolted towards him; lifting the small archangel up and spinning around, and then kissing him right on the lips. 

 

It was incredible. Sam had stopped spinning with Gabriel, however he still felt as if the world continued to turn their rate without him. He was holding an entire  adult human body, except he felt like he was floating in air. They stayed melted into each other for what felt like all of eternity, but was only five seconds. 

 

Finally, they pulled away from each others faces, and Sam stared at Gabriel's face as he still held the archangel, his face going completely red as he realized what he just did. Despite the fact that Charlie and Eileen just walked into the library as well, the entire room was silent. 

Gabriel had a shocked expression for a few seconds, before he grew a shit eating grin onto his face and ran his fingers through Sam's hair, not even minding that the human was still awkwardly holding him. 

 

“You suck when you're in charge.” Gabriel purred, and then wrapped his legs around the tall human that was Sam, and shoved his lips onto the flannel-wearing idiot. 

 


	17. Flowers and healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn't as pleasant as the title implies.

Mary wasn't sure how to deal with the fact that her son was now apparently dating an archangel, but she didn't think about it too hard. 

Charlie, however, had to do her actual best not to scream, due to the fact that one of her guilty pleasure otps had come to life. 

Eileen was only on All Hell Breaks Loose in the book series so she didn't get the fandom stuff Charlie felt, but she was very,  _ very  _ proud of Sam for making out with an archangel. 

 

Neither Sam or Gabe knew what to say to each other afterwards, however the energy between them spoke an entire series of words that they couldn't hear, but feel. 

Eventually, after about an hour of tiredly celebrating with his family with cocoa and crappy, exhausted jokes, Sam decided to go to bed. After another half hour, Mary retired to her room as well, and then Charlie and Eileen left to go read in the guest room. 

Gabriel and Castiel were left sitting quietly in the room. 

 

“Hey, Cas.” Gabriel finally spoke up, drinking his hot cocoa and eyeing the seriph. “Why've you been so quiet this whole time? I think you'd be happy. Deans going to end up being okay…” 

“I know.” Cas replied in a deep, tired voice. He sighed and looked at the ceiling, frowning. “I just...I said something I shouldn't of told him.” 

“What? Did you and Dean fight while you were on watch?” Gabriel snorted, shrugging. “Cas, you  _ know  _ he's not in the right mind. Whatever he told you, or whatever you argued about, doesn't count.” 

“No, that's not…” Cas began, but sighed and bit his lip. “That's not what happened...I…” the angel looked his older brother in the eyes. “I told him I love him.” 

Gabriel looked at Cas with brows raised, and took a long sip of his cocoa. 

“Well,” Gabe started once he finished drinking. “You know Dean. He's probably gonna take it platonically.” 

“Yes, but…” Cas trailed off and scrunched up his face. “...but what if I'm tired of him taking it that way…? I want him to know how I feel, but I'm too scared that he wouldn't care…” 

Gabriel stared at Cas with mild pity, frowning and attempting to think of something else to say. 

“Look, he's gonna be cured soon.” He stated finally, giving a gentle smile. “He's gonna be alright, and then you can talk to the real him.” 

  
  
  


Before Sam had walked into the dungeon, he had taken a coffee Dean style; which meant dumping a shot of vodka into it. He didn't want to deal with his brothers shit 100% sober. 

 

“Morning, princess!” Dean snarled as soon as Sam walked in and turned on the light. Sam cringed slightly when he saw his brother. The reddish-white seams where his wounds were were still vivid, and his black eye had gotten worse. However, the Daisy's in the demon's hair were still alive and caused Dean to look at least a little more innocent. 

Gabriel walked in behind him, a bag over his shoulder. He placed it on the table and took out multiple blood bags, and smiled at Dean in a cheeky manner. 

“Hey Dean,” he began. “~I'm dating your brootherrr~” 

“Gabriel.” Sam groaned. Gabriel let out a laugh, and Dean narrowed his eyes. 

“No you're not.” He growled. Gabriel smirked and stood on his toes in attempts to reach his boyfriend's face, however Sam was still too tall. The human rolled his eyes and squatted slightly so the tiny archangel could give him a smooch on the cheek. 

“Im going to rip both of you to shreds.” Dean spat. Gabriel chuckled and Sam stood straight again, grabbing a syringe out of the bag from before and beginning to fill it with blood. 

“You're probably gonna kill me.” Dean smirked at Sam, who shrugged. 

“Maybe, but it's more likely we’ll save you.” He replied. He flicked the syringe to make sure no air was in it, and then walked over to his brother. The demons other eye went black, and he attempted to bite his brother as he walked over. Sam had a spray bottle full of holy water, and he squirted the demon, who hissed in pain and flinched back. Sam took this opportunity to stab the needle into his brother's arm and inject the blood in, then step back afterwards. 

Dean stared at his brother and the archangel, panting from the holy water. The demon, after a few seconds, began to feel white-hot pain throughout his body. 

His blood was boiling, he could feel his blood on fire from the injection. 

He let out a scream in pain, something that sounded like a mutated lion roar. 

He was left panting as the pain slowly faded, and he stared at Sam. 

This would be a long, long day. 

  
  
  


Charlie volunteered for first watch, and didn't back down when Sam tried to talk her out of it. 

 

“You gonna let them kill me?” Dean purred tiredly, giving a weak grin. 

“Course not.” Charlie replied confidently, giving Dean a smile. “I'm letting them save you.” 

Dean rolled his eyes and huffed. Charlie sighed and looked at Dean. “Look, I know there's still a part of you in there, a part that still cares. I'm not going to give up until you're human again.” 

“They're just  _ using  _ you, Charlie.” Dean snarled. “It's what Sam does! He uses people when he needs them, and he throws them out when he's done!”

“Well, if that's the case, you'll be there to stop him from doing so.” Charlie replied smugly. 

“I  _ wouldn't  _ because then I'll be  _ dead!”  _

Dean actually seemed rather bothered by this conversation, as if he were actually scared for Charlie. 

  
  
  


After two more injections into Dean, each more and more painful with louder and louder screams, Mary took watch. 

 

“Hope you're enjoying watching your son  _ die.”  _ Dean spat. Mary avoided looking at him, staying quiet. “What, you're going to  _ ignore  _ me? Typical. Not much different from dad, yknow. I had to raise Sammy myself because he was too busy with his head up his  _ ass  _ trying to find the thing that killed you!” 

Mary bit her lip, and didn't respond. Dean continued to ramble. 

“It's your fault, yknow.  _ You  _ made that deal with ol Yellow Eyes...I wouldn't even  _ be  _ like this if it weren't for you!” 

“You wouldn't be alive if I hadn't made that deal to save your father.” Mary growled, attempting to avoid looking at her son. 

“Don't you think that's far better off than  _ this?”  _ Dean snarled. “Me and Sam have suffered  _ so much  _ because of you!” 

Mary stared at Dean in shock, then bit her lip and huffed in annoyance. 

“You think I don't know that…?” She rasped, tucking a strand of hair behind her ears. “I blame myself  _ constantly  _ for this…! The  _ last  _ thing I  _ ever  _ wanted was for my boys to become hunters…!”

“Well look how you fucked that up!” Dean spat in return. 

“Uhm.” 

The demon and his mother turned to see Sammy, who was standing there awkwardly. “It's uh...it's time for another injection.” 

“Right.” Mary nodded awkwardly, stepping back and giving her two sons one last look before leaving the dungeon. Dean barred his teeth and glared at Sam, who in turn grabbed one of the syringes and plunged it into his demonic brother. Dean let out a howl of pain and cringed, gritting his teeth in agony. Sam felt slightly guilty when he saw his brother in so much pain, but he knew it was for the best. 

“We’re halfway done, Dean…” Sam reassured. 

“Up yours.” Dean spat in a tense voice. 

  
  
  


Next, Eileen took watch. 

“Hey there, chewtoy.” Dean greeted smugly. Eileen narrowed her eyes and shrugged. 

“Hey, Puppy Chow.” She replied. Dean narrowed his eyes this time, and then smirked. 

“Funny, yknow. Each girl Sammy gets close with gets killed brutally.” The demon purred. “Didja like like him? That's probably why.” 

“Not into boys.” Eileen shrugged. Dean blinked a bit in surprise. He then went back to thinking. 

“You know they're using you, right?” He finally stated. 

“You know how easily I can ignore you, right?” Eileen smirked, and then turned around. 

“Hey, HEY! Wait!” Dean shouted. Frustration boiled over the fact that Eileen literally couldn't hear him. “Fine! I didn't wanna talk to you anyways!” 

  
  


Eileen left as soon as Sam had given him a fifth shot, and then Sam quickly left as Dean was screaming in agony. 

No one showed back up for watch. 

 

...They would surely realize in a minute or so, right...? 

 

It had been a short while since Dean was left alone, and the demon began to realize that it was still quiet. 

“They're gonna kill you, you know.” 

Dean glanced up to see Alastair standing there, grinning at the demon, who surprisingly grinned back. 

“It's been awhile since I've had one of these.” He scoffed. “What, the blood drug me up so much that I see shit that already haunts me?” 

Alastair smiled, and walked forward to Dean, smirking and looking at the blood-stained clothes and hair the demon wore. 

“You've grown quite a bit, my student.” He purred, walking up and running his fingers through dean's hair. Dean shut his eyes tightly, begging his mind to stop showing him this disgusting vision. “You know...you're worse than me by now, kid.” 

“Shut it, Sunshine Lollipops.” Dean breathed through grit teeth. Alastair grinned and grabbed Dean by the right arm, gently shifting the rope ties around it forwards and exposing The Mark Of Cain. Dean felt as though a block of ice had dropped into his gut. 

“This, here...this is a masterpiece.” Alastair cooed, grinning. “Why would you ever want to get rid of it?” 

“It made me a disgusting monster.” Dean shrugged. Alastair smiled at Dean gently, tapping his fingers under the demons chin and lifting his face to look at him directly. 

“Oh, Dean.” He breathed. “You're already a monster~!” 

“Yeah, but I'll be dead soon, it'll fix it.” Dean shrugged, blinking his eyes and not flinching as a drop of his inky soul dropped onto his jeans. Alastair smirked and dragged his thumb across dean's cheek in an grossly affectionate manner, smiling as if he was looking at a lover. 

“Dean, you can embrace who you are, and you know it.” He replied. “You can show your family who you really are, what you were born to be.” Alastair got very close to Dean's ear. “What  _ I  _ carved you into.” 

Dean felt shivers go down his spine. He glanced to the other demon, frowning. 

“I'd rather just wait to die.” He snarled. Alastair pouted, but then grabbed Dean by the hair. 

“You are a  _ demon,  _ for Lucifer's sake!” He spat violently. “You are not a  _ mutt _ , you are not  _ human!  _ You're a  _ demon!”  _ Alastair adjusted his grip on Dean's hair to be tighter. “Embrace your damned culture! YOU ARE A MONSTER, DEAN WINCHESTER! YOUR ONLY PURPOSE IS TO KILL, IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN! SINCE YOU WERE A LITTLE KID, YOU'VE BEEN A COLD BLOODED MURDER! IT'S TIME TO DAMN WELL ACT LIKE IT!” 

Dean could feel his right arm burning white-hot, a sensation he was still scared of after The Mark. He craved to kill,  _ he needed to.  _

_ “SHOW US WHO YOU REALLY ARE, DEAN WINCHESTER!” _

Dean's eyes snapped open, and Alastair was gone. 

 

Dean gazed around the empty dungeon. 

He still craved to slaughter Sam, everyone in the bunker, however he felt as if his blood was thinner, less intoxicated with demonic power. 

Then he realized just how easy it would be to escape. 

 

“Honestly, i'm just planning on shoving some alcohol in his face and then giving the rest to myself.” Sam groaned. 

“You sure that's healthy?” Charlie scoffed, pulling her nose out of a book. 

“Yeah, of course. It's Dean…Wait.” Sam glanced around the room, and felt sudden panic. “Who's watching Dean?” 

Sudden terror gripped the room, and Sam got up and ran to the dungeon, followed by Mary, Castiel, and Gabriel. 

Sam bolted back into the dungeon, and then drew in a quick breath as he realized that his brother was, indeed, gone. 

“Shit!” He spat, and grabbed the cuffs off the chair, then ran back out and into the library. “He's gone!” 

“For fucks sake.” Eileen groaned. Charlie got up and grabbed her knife. Sam looked at everyone around the room. 

“No one harm him fatally. Yell as  _ loud as you can  _ if you find him.” He ordered, and immediately bolted off to find the demon. Everyone else seemingly scattered, Gabriel going to check the kitchen and exit, Cas going to check Dean's room, Mary to check around the dungeon and power room. 

Sam's heart pounded as he walked throughout the bunker, and then slipped into his room to quickly grab his knife. As he walked in, he heard the door behind him shut quietly. 

Sam spun around, and before he could shout in alarm, Dean cupped a hand over his brothers face, then shoved him to the ground. 

“Just let me go, Sammy.” He cooed. Sam grunted and attempted to escape his brother's grasp as the demon spoke. “I don't have to hurt ya, you know.” 

Sam was horrified, especially when the dripping soul from Dean's eye had dropped a bit of the inky, disgusting fluid onto his cheek. It slightly burned the surface of his skin, and he attempted to block out the idea that this was his brother's soul. 

Dean reached for the knife on Sam's bed stand, and Sam took advantage of his brothers distracted state, kicking him in the belly and launching him off of himself. Dean let out a grunt and skidded to a halt as he was sent tumbling back, readjusting and using the sudden momentum to fling himself back to Sam. The younger brother jumped out of the way, and the demon hopped back to prevent himself from crashing. 

“ _ DEAN! STOP IT!”  _ Sam cried out. Deans second eye went black, and he let out a chuckle in amusement, grinning at his younger brother. 

Suddenly, Sam was flung towards the wall, stuck. Dean walked forwards, and then slashed his brother across the face, leaving a deep wound in his cheek. Sam let out a cry in pain, and Dean aimed the knife to plunge into the younger brothers chest. 

“It's been fun, Sammy, but you're really starting to  _ get in my way.”  _

Dean swung the knife forwards, however it was stopped abruptly, right in front of Sam's chest. 

Gabriel held Deans arm and waist, pulling the now wrathful demon away from Sam. 

Sam now saw Castiel and Mary there, helping the archangel drag the demon back to the dungeon. Dean was fidgeting and attempting to twist out of the multiple grasps on him, and when it seemed to be to no avail, the demon began to cackle loudly. 

_ “GO AHEAD AND TRY TO CURE ME, YOU GODDAMN ASSHATS! THE DEAN YOU KNOW AND LOVE IS DEAD, AND CURING ME IS ONLY GOING TO KILL THE LAST FUCKING SHARD YOU HAVE LEFT EVEN FASTER!”  _

  
  


Each new injection was hell for Dean. By the seventh, the demon had passed out from pain. Sam had to throw holy water on him to wake him up. 

  
  
  


“Cas,” Charlie began, looking away from the laptop that Eileen was using to read Supernatural. “You seem really, really down. What's up?” 

Castiel looked at Charlie, a pathetic gloom glazed over his eyes. He sighed a bit. 

“I'm worried for Dean.” He said. 

“All of us are,” Charlie replied. 

“Yes, but…” Cas trailed off, complementing what he was about to say as he bit his lip. “Even if he  _ does  _ survive this...Dean has started to remember something...something I don't want him to.”

“Remember what, exactly?” Charlie asked. Castiel looked down. 

“It's difficult to talk about.” He said. 

Charlie opened her mouth to reply, but Sam walked into the library and towards the dungeon. Before he did so, he looked at his family. 

“Hey, uh...I'm gonna give him the last dose.” He stated. Cas got up. 

“I'll come with.” He stated. Sam gave a nod and walked with the angel into the dungeon. 

 

Gabriel had been keeping watch, and stood up as soon as his boyfriend and brother walked in. 

“Eight hours later...finally” The archangel breathed. Dean, who didn’t look to be in good shape, gave a weak smirk.

“Heya, Sammy~” He rasped. “Ready to end my life?” 

“Nope.” Sam shrugged. “I’m ready to yank it out of the fire.” 

Sam plunged the needle into his brother's arm, and injected the blood. Dean let out a blood-curdling scream that made Sam's insides lurch, and then the demon went limp in his chair. 

“...Dean?” Sam breathed out. He kneeled down in front of his brother, and gripped him by the face in panic. “Dean?!” 

He checked for a pulse, and released the breath he didn’t know he was holding when he was reassured his brother was alive. 

“I’m sure the purifying has begun.” Castiel replied in a hoarse, nervous voice. Gabriel, however, tilted his head and stepped forward, placing a hand onto Dean's head. He made a slightly surprised face, and Sam stood up, looking down at Gabriel in alarm. 

“What? What is it?” He asked frantically. 

Gabriel turned to look at Sam, licking his lips nervously and then looking the tall human in the eyes. 

“His mind.” He began. “It’s shattered.” 

  
  
  


His head was spinning as he groaned and attempted to open his eyes, but then shut them tight as blinding lights attacked his vision. There was a scuffle of noises, and then footsteps. 

“Whoa, take it easy there, kid.” Cooed a raspy, maine-accent. “There ain’t nuthin to rush, take your time.” 

“Shit, where am I…?” He groaned, rubbing his face. 

“Jus’ my bakery. All I know is I was jus’ headin’ to work, an’ I came across a wicked cunnin gawmy just passed out by the back door.” The voice replied. “Ya didn’ wake up when I tried to wake ya, so I took ya inside and laid you down in the back room. Maybe try an’ call some help if ya didn’ wake soon.”

By now, he had opened his eyes, and saw a blurry face in front of him. He focused his vision, and finally found a scruffy man with brilliant blue eyes and a grey hat looking at him with concern, and a touch of amusement. 

“Jesus, I feel... _ really  _ hung over.” He replied to the man, who gave a gentle laugh. 

“Ah, ahve got an alkie on mah hands, have ah?” The man chuckled. He stood up and walked over to the sink, filling up a glass of water. “Whats ya name, Kid?” 

“Uh…” He began, but trailed off. What  _ was  _ his name? Who was he? “Funny issue. I have no idea.” 

The man shut the water off and then looked over to him, eyebrows raised in shock. 

“Yup, major alkie…” He breathed, walking over and handing him the glass of water. “Okay, well, Ah’m just gonna have to call you Gawmy from now on, ‘kay?” 

Gawmy…?? Nodded and smiled nervously. 

“Uh, alright.” He breathed. The man smiled and helped Gawmy up, and patted his shoulder. 

“The names Benny, by the way.”


	18. Pieces reprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets all of his parts together, and one more that he never got back.

“Shattered? Y-you mean like when mine shattered when I got my soul back…?” Sam stuttered to Gabriel in disbelief, as the archangel sighed and nodded. 

“The purification must've been too...intense. Dean probably couldn't handle it without breaking into pieces.” He replied. He stared at Deans face out of interest when he saw the soul that had leaked out of the demons eye begin to glow blue and flake off, slowly purifying itself. Cas eventually took interest as well. Sam, too, stared for a while, but then looked to Gabriel again. 

“Well, c-can't you go help him sort his memories out like you did for me?” Sam winced. Gabriel shrugged and shook his head. 

“There's a really,  _ really _ small window to get through the doorway of the mind before it shuts down like this, and I missed it.” Gabriel answered. Sam grit his teeth and sighed, and then kneeled down to Dean. He began to uncuff his handcuffs and untie him from the chair. 

“What're you doing?” Gabriel asked. “He could still be dangerous!” 

“I don't care!” Sam spat. “He's my brother, and I'm at least going to make sure he's comfortable.” 

Sam had begun to try and lift Dean out of the chair, but grunted and gasped for breath. Gabriel rolled his eyes. 

“What're you, crazy? You're running on a single hour of sleep, let Cas handle it.” The archangel patted his boyfriend on the back and gave a shit-eating grin to his brother, who in turn, didn't seem all too bothered about it. Castiel wrapped his arms under the legs and behind the back of Dean, and then lifted, picking the limp man up with ease. 

“Thanks, Cas.” Sam breathed. Cas dipped his head and then walked out of the dungeon, carrying Dean to his room. Sam and Gabe exchanged looks, and then exited, following the angel. 

  
  
  


“Hungry?” Benny asked Gawmy- he still didn't get what that was supposed to mean- in a chipper tone. 

“Starving, actually.” Gawmy chuckled nervously. “You're pretty calm about the fact that you found an unconscious guy outside your door and so you decided to bring him in and he tells you he has no memory of anything, ever.” 

Benny looked at him, and gave a cheery smirk, shrugging as he walked out with him. 

“Ah’ve had my fair share of rough experiences, alon’ with run-ins with Gawmys like ya.” He replied, walking over to the counter where all the goods were. 

The bakery was really nice and sweet looking, pink and yellow wall paper with white tile, along with white tables. It smelled of...alcohol…? 

Gawmy sat at the table nearest to the counter, and turned her chair to face Benny, who was still rambling. 

“Now, do ya want some pie or muffins?” 

“That even a question?” Gawmy scoffed, smirking. “Pie!” 

Benny grinned in amusement, and then nodded. 

“Alrighty, lucky for ya ah jus’ baked a cherry one earlier, still fresh.” He replied, taking something out from under the counter and beginning to slice it. 

“Damn, I think cherry’s my favorite, actually.” Gawmy replied thoughtfully, smiling. Benny then walked over with a plate and set it down in front of him. 

“Hope ya like this, then!” He chirped. Gawmy stared at the slice in amazement, eyes wide with excitement. 

It was the most perfect pie he had ever seen- absolutely baked perfectly. It was like food porn. 

“Oh my  _ god,  _ this looks aweso-” 

Before Gawmy could finish, he let out a loud and sharp gasp of pain, swinging his hand to his head and gripping the table as the room spun. 

  
_̛“҉D͘id̡ y͏o̡ų ge̛t m̴y ͏p͟ie҉ this ̵t҉ime͢!?”͟ He aske͞d ̡an extr͞em͜el͝y҉ ta҉l͠l̕, ͡lon͝g-ha̴ired̷ d̢u̡de͝.͘ ̢T̵h͜e͘ ma҉n̵ r̷o͘lled̵ h̷i̶s̢ ͝ey҉e͝s͏ ҉a͢n̶d grabbed͏ a ̶cont̢a̴i͡ne̶r ̧of̕ ̶pie ͡ou̶t̴ o̵f the shop͟p͞i̡ng b̸a҉g͠ ͡h͝e͘ h͜e̷l̡d,̷ ̢an̴d shoved̶ ͠i͏t intơ ͝h͢is arms._ _  
_ _͘“Holy̨ S͜HIT, m҉y̷ ̛l͞o̢ve͠…”͢ ̛He br̸e̕a̵t̷h͝e̷d̨ a͏s ̨t͡h͡e̸ ̶moos̕e҉-m͠an̵ ch̡u͜c͡kl͡e̡d a͡nd ͘sh̨oo̡k̢ ͠his҉ h̡ead͝.͜_ _  
_ _“D̸e̷a͞n, I͞ s̢w̢ea͡r҉ to̴ g͠od̶,͝ ͡yo͏u'̡r҉e͞ g͝o̕n̴na eņd ̢up ͜ma͝r̢ry̕i͏n̷g a s̸l̛ic͝e ͘of͏ ̧p͝ie͠ ͘on͟e̶ ͏d͘a̕y.͡” He mocked.͟_ _  
_ __“I p̧ref̴eŗ to͟ ͢eat̨ ̴i͜t out̸, no ̵s̷t̵r̵in͝g̨s ̷attach͞ęd.”̢ Dea̕n̨ ͞r͢e͟plie͟d, ҉w̨in͘k̡i̧n̸g̕.̡ T̨h͝e ̴mo͝ose͠-ma̧n̡ s͟c̛ǫffed a̴nd s̨ho͝ok̛ h͘įs̴ h͘e̕a̢d̷ ͘i͡n̨ b͞oth̛ ̴am͘us̨e͟me̸n̷t an̸d̛ ͜d̵i̴sgust.   
  


“Oi! Hey, are ya alright!?” 

He was gasping for breath as he regained his reality, and looked at Benny in shock. 

“Dean.” He breathed. “M-my name is Dean.” 

  
  
  


Castiel sat by Dean in a silent vigil, frowning down at the man and gently running his fingertips down the white scars on the demo-er-humans face. Sam sighed and went to sit at the edge of his brothers bed. Gabriel stood by the doorway. 

“Gabe,” Sam rasped. “What happens if he's killed by a different memory?” 

“I already told you, I'm uncertain.” Gabriel sighed. 

“Humor me.” Sam shrugged absentmindedly. The archangel let out a groan and frowned. 

“Fine. I have one theory.” He began. “It's not proven, but it's possible that if a different memory kills the original, they'll still absorb the original and fuse with it, but instead, that memory will be more dominate than the normal ones. For example, Deanmon kills Dean, he becomes more violent and unstable permanently. Not to a terribly worrying extant, but to the extent that he's more violent and merciless.” 

Sam stared Gabriel with immense fear, and the archangel sighed and put a hand on his boyfriends shoulder. 

“Hey, look, Deans strong. If anyone is capable of this, it's him.” He said in a comforting tone. Sam grit his teeth and then nodded gently, sighing. 

  
  
  
  


“So, lemme get this straigh’.” Benny sighed, looking at Dean. “Ya saw a slice o’ pie, and then it triggad a memory in ya brain?” 

“Y-yeah.” Dean replied, shoving pie into his mouth. “I was with some tall dude, like, scary tall, yknow? But...I  _ knew  _ him, like a connection that was like he was my  _ son.”  _

“Damn, ya got an anklebitah?” Benny chuckled nervously. Dean shook his head. 

“No. He was...older. He looked like he was about my age, actually…maybe he's my little brother…?” He sighed. “All I know is I had a  _ really  _ strong feeling that basically said I would protect him with my life, yknow? Like he was my responsibility.” 

“Ah thought he was talla than ya?” Benny snorted. Dean shrugged. 

“He had gentle eyes, gentle expression, actually. He was like...a puppy mixed with a goddamn  _ moose _ .” He was actually rather amused by his own wording, as if that kid being called a moose was familiar to him. 

“Ah got an idea,” Benny got up from his chair, and then walked to the back room and looked at Dean. “Follow me.” 

Dean gazed at Benny, and shoved the rest of the slice of pie into his mouth, licked the plate, and then followed. 

“Ysee, when ahm on break, ah like ta read.” He explained, walking over to a storage shelf with multiple books piled inside of it. “If pie can triggah a memory, readin’ sure as hell can.” 

“I don't think I'm much of a reader.” Dean shrugged. “But...I guess I'll give it a shot.” 

Dean walked up to the shelf and looked through the books. He paused, a book catching his eye. He grabbed it, and looked at the cover. 

“Demon lore?” He scoffed. Benny laughed and shrugged. 

“Ahm kinda a monstah geek.” He replied nervously. Dean flipped open the book, and landed on a page about crossroad demons. 

Suddenly, a white-hot pain seared across his skull, and Dean buckled to his knees with a gasp of pain. 

 

_ “͠I̷'͢ll͞ b̢ri̕n̴g̷ Sam͝ ba҉c̸k̕, b̢ut…̛ ͠Yo̧u͏ g̴et̶ ǫn̷e ye҉ar, and ͜on͝e ̧y͟ear onl̵y.͠” An a̢ttr͘a̛ct̶i҉ve ͞w͞om҉an with ͠b̴rig͢h̡t̷ r̕ed͞ e̢y̷es s͡m̢įl͟e̷d̵ at͏ ͟De̷a҉n͝, who was͠ f͘eeļing f̛ull o҉f t̡h̕e͏ ̴worst ̷p̧ossible̸ sor̷r̵ow. ͘H̡e n̷od͞d͡ed͠, ̧and the͜n͞ grąb͝b͠ed͟ ͡the girl, p͟re̕ss̴in͏g̷ ͠his ̢lips̸ ̧t͠o ̛h̛ȩrs vi̧ole͢n̷t͜l͞y.  _ _   
_ _ _ _   
_ _ ͡“͡Yơu s͏oļd yo҉u͠r sǫul for ͡me̶..̴.h̛ow͟ c̷o͞ul͝d͘ ̷you ḑǫ ͜ţhat͡…̨?͠” T̷he͏ mo͢ose͢ ̛m͢an-̕ Sam҉, he gue͢s͡s̨ed, st̨a̡re͘d at͘ ̛D̕ea̷n͘ in͏ ho̵r͘ro̷r̡. Dean͘ ̡s͏h͝o̢oķ ͜hi̕s̢ ̵he̛ad̷.͝ ̸ _ _   
_ _ “B̸e͏cau͡se̴ I h͜a͡d ţo̸.̷ ҉Tha҉t'̛s̕ ͜my͡ ͘job,͘ ͟looking͡ af̴te҉r̴ yo͡u.”  _ _   
_ _ ͡ _ _   
_ _ “͞S͞i̡ck͜ e̛m’ ͝b̛ơy!͠” ͞ _ _   
_ _ A ͝blo̢n͘d͏ ̧w͘o̶ma̸n͜ c̛o͘o̢ed ̸t̕h̷is, an̸d͜ ̸opened҉ ͠th͝e͝ ̵doo̵r͏ to ̶reve͢al the̸ m҉os̨t te̢rrifyi̵ņg ̕an͏d u̢gly͡ ̛d̷o͟g ̴D͘ea̕n͠ c͞o̷u̕ld̡ ̵i͟m̧agine̛.͏ I̵t͟ şnarle̴d, ͜a͟n͠d͡ ̶ran forw̕ar̢d̨s,҉ ͏gr͠a͠bb̨ing̡ De͘an ̴of͟f th͠e͢ tabl͢e h̸e wa̛s ̧forc̡ed do҉wn̵ on an͜d ͜t͏ear͜ing̴ ͝into hi̴m̨ ̴as̶ he͝ sc͢r͢eec҉he҉d i̧n pain. Bl͏o҉od ̵pou͡re̴d fr҉om his a҉lre͡a͝dy͏ m̨an͞y ҉wou̷n͢ds̵, a̵nd͜ ͏h͜e͏ ͟fel̛t͢ ͘the l̛ong, di͏sgusti͞ng c͞laws̛ r͢įp̸ ̵dow̛n hi͜s̸ ͟c̛h͏est ̴and̸ b̡e͏lly̡.  _ _   
_ _ He wa͜s i̵n̸ ̴agony, ͡and ̵thȩ whole ti̡me̶ ͟he͠ co̵u͞l̡d ̸h̶ear͞ what ḩe͝ k̸n҉e҉w҉ ͞now͘ t͏o͟ be hi̶s ͡li̛tt̶le̸ bro̶t̨ḩe҉r ̨s͝c͝r̢e͢ec̡hing.҉ ̛At ̶the w͞oma͡n to sto̴p͢, b͘ut̢ to ҉n҉o͝ av͘ai͝l͏. ̴ _ _   
_ __ ̶B͡l͜o͢o҉d̴ ͝wa͡s͡ p͝ou͏ri̴ng ̛f͏rom ̢h̢is̕ ͜m͡out̸h ̴a̧s ͠h͏e got̨ sh͘r͟edd͡ed ̴to p͟i͘e͜ce͘s b͢y ̕ţh͏i͞s͘ d҉emo͝n͏i͡c d̸o͟ģ, ̕ąņd̛ then,͝ e͠veryt͠hing͡ fade̶d͠ ̸o͢ut̨ of̶ ͜e͢x͢i̛s͟t̷en͘c̕e͠.

 

“Hey! Dean! Dean, Dean can you hear me!?” 

Benny's voice was audible, but the pain Dean was experiencing was tremendous. He couldn't handle it uttering a word. 

  
  
  
  


“Hey! Dean! Dean, Dean can you hear me!?” 

Sam was panicking as Dean had suddenly began to fidget in his unconscious state, grunting and twitching as if he were in pain. 

“Dean!” 

  
  
  


“Dean!” 

The pain finally stopped, and Dean opened his eyes to see Benny looking at him with absolute concern. 

“Don't freak out,” Dean began, panting and looking at Benny. “But I should definitely be dead.” 

  
  
  
  


“The hell just happened!?” Sam squawked at Gabriel, who shrugged. 

“I don't know, maybe he got a memory of some sort? Like, a bad one?” He replied. Sam was still panicking, however he couldn't help but take notice when he saw that Cas had scooted closer to Dean. 

  
  
  


“Whaddayamean,  _ dead?”  _ Benny spat. 

“Dead! Yknow, six feet underground! In a body bag!” Dean exclaimed. “I just had a memory of myself getting  _ ripped to fucking shreds  _ by a goddamn  _ dog  _ owned by the  _ devil!”  _

Benny stared at Dean with shock, and then groaned, sitting down with his face in his hands. 

“Well, this is gonna be harder than ah thought…” He breathed. “We should take ya to th’ hospital.” 

“No, no I'm fine I just...need to collect myself.” Dean groaned, rubbing his temples. “I'm gonna go on a walk.” 

“I'm comin.” Benny replied as Dean stood up. 

“Don't you have work?” Dean chuckled. Benny shrugged. 

“We’re closed today, ah jus’ came in fa inventorah check.” He scoffed. Dean shrugged and then walked out the back door of the shop, and watched as Benny stood up and followed. They began to walk down the alley. 

“Can't say this ain't one of th’ weirdest days ahve had, but ah don’ mind helping a wicked cunnin kid out.” He laughed. Dean blushed a tad, but nodded, smiling. 

“Thanks, Benny.” He chuckled. 

Suddenly, something didn't feel right. Dean heard a strangely familiar sound, the distant sound of a sheath being taken off of a blade. 

Then, suddenly from behind a dumpster, someone jumped out! 

Dean was strangely alert, whipping around and gripping the arm of the man, and twisting it, then slamming the man into the wall. 

Dean backed up, and froze in horror when he saw  _ himself.  _

“What in the-!?” Benny yelped in shock. Dean stood in front of Benny in a protective manner, and looked at the other version of him. 

“Hey.” The other version rasped, swinging the blade over his shoulder and staring Dean in the eyes with a cold, calculated expression. He was very dirty looking, coated in dirt and...blood…? It was disgusting. 

“This isn't possible.” Dean chuckled in disbelief. “I...I-I'm dreaming, aren't I?” 

“Kinda.” The other Dean responded, shrugging. “But this is real in a sense, too. See, we’re both pieces of your mind, when shattered.” 

“Okay...so...why're you all…” Dean pointed to the entirety of the other version, who blinked at him coldly. 

“Cause I'm the one people would call your... _ attack dog  _ side…” He seemed reluctant at saying this. “I've been raised as a grunt, a killer, and I went through an entire year of Purgatory.” The Dean then looked at Benny. “And I especially remember you.” 

Benny was dead silent as he looked at the two deans. Dean looked at his doppelgänger, and inhaled a deep breath. 

“And is there a  _ reason _ you tried to kill me?” He asked. 

“Yup.” The second Dean replied. “Our brain is basically Last Man Standing right now.” He readied his blade, and then smirked. “Welcome to the hunger games!” 

  
  
  
  


Sam sipped at a glass of rum, tapping his fingers on the desk and shaking his leg out of impatience. He had just explained to Mary, Charlie, and Eileen what the situation was. Mary had gone in to check on Cas and Dean, then went out to buy food- something she does when she's nervous. Charlie and Eileen both seemed determined that Dean would be fine, however Sam could see through their expressions that they were worried as well, and just pushed it down and went back to reading in attempts to avoid thinking about it. Gabriel stared at Sam with concern. 

“You should really try and sleep.” He said finally. “Humans need that.” 

“No shit.” Sam rasped, huffing a bit in amusement. “I wouldn't be able to, it's alright.” 

“Whatever you say, stubborn moose.” Gabriel shrugged. Sam narrowed his eyes. 

“Yeah, and you're a...a...h...hyena or whatever.” He replied hesitantly, unable to think of a witty comeback. Gabriel burst out laughing. 

“You're  _ amazing  _ at this!” He cackled. 

“I'm tired. Shut up.” Sam growled, attempting to refrain from letting a smile crack across his face. 

  
  
  


Dean dodged out of the way as the large blade swung, and then kicked out from under his doppelgänger, causing him to trip. As his blade flew out of his hands, Dean grabbed it, and then wheezed in pain when a foot kicked him right in the gut. The other Dean had gotten up and dived for the weapon, to which Dean dodged again, and kicked himself in the back and onto the ground. 

He plunged the knife right through the spine of the other, and backed up when the man we nt limp. 

Suddenly, bright light blasted towards Dean, and white hot pain filled through his entire bodies as memories came flooding back. 

  
  
  
  


“Dean?  _ DEAN!?”  _

Sam got up immediately and bolted towards Dean's room as soon as he heard Cas panic, and saw him brother spasming violently. 

“Dean!” 

Sam ran forwards and attempted to help, but had no idea how to except for making sure his brother didn't fall off the bed. Gabriel had soon run in, and Sam looked at the archangel in panic. “What's wrong with him!?” 

“He must've killed one of his memories.” Gabriel breathed. “This is a good sign.” 

“IT DOESN'T LOOK VERY GOOD AT THE MOMENT.” Sam exclaimed in reply. 

Soon, Dean stopped spasming, and laid calmly on his bed. 

  
  
  
  


Dean stood up from the concrete, a newfound identity inside him. He looked at Benny, who stared at him with pity. 

“I remember you…” Dean breathed, walking forward. Benny smiled sadly and looked at Dean proudly. 

“You're doin great, kid.” He said in a brittle voice. Dean couldn't help but tear up. 

“Benny…” he began. “I...I-I'm so,  _ so sorry _ for what...for what I did to you.”

“Now, ya know it ain't ya fault.” Benny cooed, putting a hand into Dean's face, who succumbed to the comfort of his old friend. “Ya know that ah didn’ belong here, either.” 

“Yes, you  _ did!”  _ Dean winced. “You belonged here more than I did, even. You could've opened up a-a bakery, or we could've gone hunting together…” 

“Really, Dean?” Benny scoffed in amusement. “A vampiyah, huntin with a human? Don’ be an idiot.” 

Dean pressed his face into Benny's palm, a tear rolling down his cheek. Benny smiled sadly and wiped it with his thumb. 

“C’mon now, don' get all misty-eyed.” He laughed in a brittle voice. “Ya gonna make me cry.” 

Dean noticed Benny began to grow a slash around his neck. 

“Please don't go...” He breathed, gritting his teeth. Benny shook his head. 

“Ahm already gone, Dean.” He replied. “You gotta be on your own now.” 

“But I  _ can't.”  _ Dean's voice cracked as he spoke. 

“Yes ya can.” Benny smiled. “I know ya can. Yer Dean friggin’ Winchester.” 

Dean chuckled sadly, and then Benny backed up. 

“You should go now.” He said gently. “Ah don’ want ya to see me die.” 

Dean dipped his head and begun to walk away, waving to Benny slightly one last time. Benny smiled at Dean as blood began to pour from his wound. 

Dean turned his back, and bolted down the street. 

  
  
  
  


“How's he doing?” Gabriel asked Cas, walking into the room. Castiel sighed. 

“Better.” He rasped in a voice that expressed he hadn't really talked in quite awhile. “What about Sam?” 

“I finally convinced him to sleep.” Gabriel responded. “He's probably gonna wake up after an hour, though.” 

“Hm.” Cas nodded, still staring at Dean intently. Gabriel sighed. 

“Castiel, you need to eventually make a move on him.” He sighed. Cas looked at his brother for a second, and then back to Dean, not responding. “Look, me and Sam got together after, what? A  _ month _ of constantly being near each other?” Gabriel scoffed. “You and Dean have known eachother for  _ years _ , and since the beginning you've had a strong connection. Just hurry up and move!” 

“Dean is far slower paced with relationships, especially anything queer.” Cas responded. Gabriel sighed. 

“Fine, suffer with your ‘profound bond’.” He scoffed, walking out of the room. 

  
  
  
  


Dean walked through the streets, which was strangely empty, considering just an hour before he could hear how busy it was from inside the baker. 

Honestly, what other memories did he have? It's not like he could specifically remember them, he didn't have them! 

He passed a store that seemed to be old and worn down, the glass of it shattered. He paused when he heard a groan escape the building, and then walked over to the window. 

Inside, he felt his stomach twist into a knot when he saw a dreadful sight. 

Another version of himself, this time, torn to shreds. A large pool of blood surrounded him- it, almost- and he was torn and cut to the point of almost being unrecognizable. His intestines poured out of a large cut down the middle, and one of his eyes were violently gouged out. 

Dean grew goosebumps when he heard another groan, and realized this thing was  _ alive.  _

_ He have to put it out of his misery, right?  _

Dean picked the lock to the empty and graffitied store, and then walked inside. 

Around him, he finally found a large, empty cashier. This should work, right? 

He grunted as he lifted it up, and carefully, he brought it over to the disgusting puddle of his alternate self on the floor. 

Aiming carefully, he dropped the cashier onto his head. 

_ SPLAT.  _

A sickening noise was heard, and then light poured out and attacked him. 

This pain was far,  _ far  _ worse. 

  
  
  


**_“SAMMY!!!”_ **

Sam's eyes flicked open and he sprung out of his bed, bolting across the bunker to his brothers room, absolute fear filling him. He skid to a halt as he saw Cas attempting to hold Dean down as he screamed and spasmed violently on the bed. 

“Is he…?” 

“He's run into the memories of hell.” Castiel responded before Sam could finish a sentence he didn't even know he could finish. “I remember this behavior vividly from when I saved him.” 

A pit of horror formed in a knot in Sam's stomach, and he grit his teeth, flinching each time Dean let out a cry in pain. Every fiber in his body screamed to help his brother, but he knew there was no way he could. 

  
  
  
  


Dean spent what seemed like years trapped in his own mind, memories of hell freshly entering and screaming in his head. 

He opened his lights, and the light from outside blinded him, and he saw chains, lightning everywhere. Pain pierced in his gut as he felt a blade tear through, and then everything was back to normal in the broken down store. 

“Heya, Dean!” 

Dean snapped around and felt the hair on the back of his neck rise when he saw Alastair standing there, smirking. 

“That's impossible.” Dean breathed, horror tearing through him. “You're dead.” 

“Sure I am!” The demonic torturer scoffed, smirking. “Or, maybe in real life I am. But here, up in your noggin?” Alastair tapped the top of his head with his knife, smirking cheekily. “~You can't get rid of me~!” He sang. 

  
  
  
  


“At least he's stopped screaming.” Sam rasped, running his fingers through his hair. Castiel, however, stared at Dean with a protective glare, as if he could tell what was happening just from recognizing his facial expression. Sam looked at the angel, anxious. “What's wrong?” 

“He only makes that face when he sees Alastair.” He replied. Sam halted in alarm. 

“Cas, Alastair's dead.” He rasped. 

“Not in dean's mind.” Castiel replied sadly, frowning. “He's vivid there. And, now that he can't remember his healing process in the same way, the barrier meant to keep Dean from hallucinating his time in hell is now down.” 

“Barrier- what!?” Sam yelped. “Cas, what the hell are you talking about!? Is...is there something that you erase from his mind?” 

Cas suddenly looked at Sam with horror, eyes wide with guilt. 

  
  
  


Every fabric in Dean's mind attempted to reason with what was happening. Was he hallucinating? He couldn't be, he was unconscious right now! So it was more like a dream? It wasn't real! But then again, it was real to  _ him _ , because technically he was a fragment of his own mind, too! 

Before Dean could collect himself, Alastair cackled and swung at him, slicing down his chest. Dean let out a shout in pain and then jumped out the broken window, attempting to run from this place. 

He didn't give a shit  _ how  _ cowardly this was. He needed to get a hold of himself. 

_ SMACK.  _

Dean crashed into someone and fell to the ground. As the world spun, he found who was there. 

He saw himself, someone who was soaked in blood and had a weird hair style. Great, just what he needed, another piece of himself. 

He flinched as the knife from the other version of himself swung, however he opened his eyes to realize that the knife hadn't hit him, and had instead hit Alastair. 

The demon narrowed his eyes and faded away, and then the other Dean glared. 

“He's gonna be back soon.” He growled. He looked down to Dean. “Get up,” he ordered, kicking him a bit. Dean drew in a quick gasp and stood up to his feet, slowly backing up. The other version of himself glared. 

“You see what you caused?” He scoffed in anger. “That mind fragment was perfectly fine being there! I needed to collect you first before you activated it! I gutted it for a reason, I didn't want to kill it so it can trigger a hallucination of our big bad!” 

“First of all, im gonna be the one collecting  _ you.”  _ Dean snarled. “Second of all, which memory are you, huh? Sleepy, grumpy, or happy?” 

“Demon.” The other Dean smirked. “Deanmon, more like.” He corrected himself, proud of his joke. Dean didn't find it funny. 

“I was a fucking  _ demon?”  _ He breathed. Deanmon shrugged. 

“Whole new world!” He laughed. He gripped this weird blade- a bone-like object, and then swung it. Dean dodged it, his chest still aching in pain after Alastair attacked him. Dean gripped the blade that his attack dog self had, and then swung it at Deanmon, who dodged, and grabbed Dean by the arm. He twisted, and Dean let out a shout in pain, and got tossed to the ground. Deanmon pinned him to the ground and aimed to kill Dean with his blade, and suddenly, Dean kicked up, knocking his opponent off of himself. He stood up right and lunged for Deanmon, not daring to give him a second chance. 

Weary, Dean lifted the knife, and then plunged it into his other self, who let out a scream and exploded into light, which engulfed Dean. 

  
  
  


“How could you just block that away, Cas!?” Sam spat. “It must've been killing him all these years, trying to figure out why he knew you!” 

“It was unavoidable!” Cas pleaded, guilt reading in his whole body. “I wish to god that I didn't have to do it!” 

He was interrupted when Dean suddenly started spasming again, and Cas immediately sat back down next to the struggling human. Sam started at the two of them, shocked by everything Cas had told him. 

This time, the memories stopped rather quickly, and Dean seemed to be calm again, however still unconscious. Cas stared at Dean, concerned. 

“I don't understand, that should've been the last one…” he breathed. 

“Unless,” Sam began. “Maybe...maybe he's got to break the wall down.” 

Cas looked at Sam with horror. 

  
  
  


Dean walked through the streets, his head pounding. He could hear voices mummering throughout his skull, some belonging to Alastair, some just people he's failed in life. 

He was exhausted, and he needed to end this. Why wasn't it over? 

Suddenly, he noticed a bar on the street. Curious, Dean walked forwards, and entered it. 

 

It was a nice bar. Most of the walls made of brick, except for one. 

 

Dean walked towards the end of the bar, gently dragging his fingertips along the very cracked and fragile looking wall, which was made of wood. Sighing, he ran his fingers through his hair and looked at the ceiling. 

“Dammit…” He breathed. How was he still trapped in his own head…? 

He heard a gentle thump from behind the wall, and stood up straighter, gazing at in in confusion. There was another thump, and now Dean had backed up. 

“Hello?” He called out. 

“I’m stuck behind here.” Said a weak, nervous voice. “Uh- mind helping? I think you need to break the wall down.” 

“Uh, okay.” Dean replied. “Buddy, how much room you got back there?” 

“Enough,” The voice responded after a few seconds. Dean nodded. 

“Okay, stand back.” 

Dean grabbed a chair, and then swung it down as hard as he could. There was a loud snapping noise as he broke it in, and he swung again. A very large hole was now in the wall, and he stepped back as the person from behind it crawled out. 

 

Dean stared agape in amazement when he saw himself crawl out- a different version of himself, who was younger and...just different. 

He was wearing an old Tshirt and jeans, and he had a few flowers spread out about his hair, along with the amulet Sam gave him still around his neck. 

“Hey, so…” The other Dean began, smiling nervously as he dusted himself off. “This is a bit awkward.” 

“Yeah, what kinda memories are you?” Dean replied, scrunching up his face and gripping his knife. The younger Dean perked up in surprise, and put his hands up. 

“Look, I swear, I won’t hurt you.” He stated. “Look, I’m...I’m not sure if I should call myself important or not. I know that, what I remember, is really important to me.” The younger Dean chuckled, scratching behind his head. “I just want you to take what you’re about to witness to heart.” 

“Why? What's so damn special?” Dean scoffed. The younger Dean smiled and walked up close, pulling out a gun. 

“It’s time for you,” He breathed, going giving a bittersweet smile and putting the gun up to his head. “To finally remember what’s been digging at you for all these years.” 

The trigger was pulled, and before Dean could see the brain splatter out of his doppelgangers head, everything went black. 


	19. And I Can't Help Falling In Love With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An angel heals a righteous man he rescued from hell, and realizes he's fallen in love.

Ashes flooded his vision as heat blasted his face, the mass smiting of the guards in front of the racks causing the blast of light to stun him for a second. 

He blinked his blue eyes and stretched his wings out, groaning in slight pain. He felt a nudge come from behind him, and turned to see his older brother, Michael, standing there. 

“Go.” He ordered. Castiel could see many of his brothers were injured, a few dead… he stretched his wings out and flew into the area, not allowing himself to get tangled and caught up in all the chains, hooks, and wires spread around the large hellscape. He saw the soul, the brightest there was. It was broken, injured terribly, but it was there. It was his duty to save it. 

Castiel flew down, and rested a hand on the shoulder of the injured man, who's unconscious figure cringed slightly in pain. Castiel himself kept from yelling out in agony as he felt the souls pain...the suffering it had endured. 

Castiel gripped Dean Winchester tight, and raised him from perdition. 

 

**_“DEAN WINCHESTER IS SAVED!”_ **

 

After the long flight, Castiel settled the man into his Heaven. The sight was surprising. It was in motel, where there was a structure of blankets and pillows. A small human with long hair peeked his head out, giggling.    
"Dean, cmon! I got the lights to work!" He squeaked excitedly. Castiel gave a gentle sigh, and placed a finger onto the child's head. Within a second, the child evaporated into blue, sparkly dust. It wouldn't be wise to allow a child to distract or possibly harm the injured man.    
Curious, Castiel peeked inside of the blanketed house. Inside, sparkly lights were strung about, and pillows were everywhere. Humans find comfort in pillows and blankets, right? Taking this grand opportunity, Castiel gently carried the man into the blanket house.    
As the man was finally settled, Castiel took a moment to observe him and his wounds. The Hellhound that attacked him was certainly larger than most, and did quite the amount of unnecessary damage. His torso and belly was sliced down, his back was shredded, his shoulder was missing a chunk of flesh, and so much more damage from hell itself was left. The man himself was quite handsome, and very well built.    
"That's Dean Winchester." Said a voice behind him. Castiel turned around to see Michael. "He's very important, so you must take good care of him."    
"I will, I have done lots to prepare." Castiel replied. Michael smiled.    
"I can tell. Who is your vessel?"    
Castiel glanced down at himself, looking at the man who had just recently allowed him to take him.    
"His name is Jimmy Novak, he is very devote." He explained. His older brother nodded.    
"I shall be on my way, then. Be careful with Dean." Michael said. In a split second, he vanished. 

Castiel looked at Dean, whose breath was shallow and uneven. He rested a hand onto the man's forehead, concentrating. First, Castiel made sure to heal the man's organs, something he was sure was very important to humans. This was difficult, to say the least...his organs were practically liquid from the attack. After using as much power as he could at the moment, Castiel restored his insides to close to normal, and then managed to gently close his wounds, leaving very fragile seams. 

Castiel watched the man. He decided to just sit there, waiting for his grace to recharge itself before he could continue to heal this…Dean. 

Suddenly, the man woke up, sitting upwards quickly and panting. He stared at Castiel in shock. 

“W-who are you!?” He rasped, coughing as he held his chest. 

“My name is Castiel.” Castiel replied in a stone cold voice. “I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.” 

“I..? What!? Wh...what does that even…agh.” Dean looked at the palm of his hand, and Castiel noticed it was covered in thin blood. 

“Oh, allow me to help.” Castiel reached his hand forward, but stopped abruptly as Dean scooted away quickly, practically curling into a ball in fear of being harmed. “I am not going to harm you.” Castiel stated calmly, staring at the human in confusion. Dean panted, slowly lowering an arm from his face- his green eyes full of fear staring into Castiel's. “Please trust me, I will not do you any harm.” 

“Y..you're lying. This is a trick from Alastair…” Dean stuttered spitefully, still trembling in fear. Castiel frowned. 

“It is not a trick, I promise.” He replied. Dean narrowed his eyes, but then slowly sat back up, out of his defensive position. Castiel concentrated, and focused harshly, using the charge he just saved up to seal the wound gently once again and ease the pain. Dean stared in disbelief, scoffing in shock and looking at Castiel, who gave a gentle smile. 

“Is that better?” He asked. Dean was quiet, but lifted his blood soaked shirt off to reveal his bare chest along with the freshly sealed wound. 

“I-It'd b-be better if I-I got a bandage for it, help keep it sealed.” Dean chuckled a bit, still in shock. Castiel nodded and spawned in a box of pink band-aids with cat faces on them, and unwrapped one, sticking it onto Dean's chest. Dean stared at it in silence, but then let out a small laugh, grinning a bit. 

“I-I uh- I meant gauze…” he breathed. Castiel nodded. 

“My apologies.” He replied, spawning in a much larger, more professional bandage, and helping Dean by applying it onto him. Deans cheeks grew red, although Castiel didn't understand why. Perhaps that was normal. Dean looked up at Castiel, blinking in awe. 

“What are you…?” He rasped. Castiel blinked at him. 

“I am an angel of the lord.” He answered calmly. Dean narrowed his eyes. 

“You're kidding me...angels don't exist!” He yelped. Castiel tilted his head. 

“Of course they do. Don't you have any faith…?” 

“N-not a lick of it. Don't you have water...wh-wherever this is…? O-or food?” Dean groaned, running his fingers through his hair. “Where am I?” 

“You are in Heaven.” Castiel responded. Dean gazed around, confused. 

“It's...different than I expected.” He rasped, still shaky. “Why am I not in hell anymore?” 

“You were chosen by God to be rescued.” Castiel replied, dipping his head in respect. Dean stared at him with wide eyes. 

“I-I….what??” He winced, eyes wide in confusion. “No...no, why would I…?” He looked at the angel. “What makes me so different?” 

“I have not yet been informed of that.” Castiel answered him in an apologetic tone. Dean drew in a shaky breath and ran his fingers through his hair, shaking his head. 

“This...th-this makes no sense…” he rasped, starting to tremble more again as he spoke. “Do...d-do you even know what I've done?” 

Castiel hesitated, frowning as he looked away from the human. 

“I have heard of the torturing you've done, Dean Winchester,” he finally responded. He turned to look at the righteous man. “And none of it was your fault. Hell broke you, but I'm here to fix you.” 

Dean stared at Castiel with a shocked expression, and he sat up a bit more. He bit his lip and huffed.  

“So...I'm just gonna be in heaven now?” He finally asked. 

“Until you are fully healed.” Castiel nodded. Dean's eyes widened in anxiety. 

“Th-then what?”

“Then you will be returned to earth.” He answered confidently. Dean sat straight up in shock. 

“Y-you mean I'll be thrown back in the game? Alive again?” He asked in disbelief. Castiel nodded, smiling, but grew confused as Dean shrunk a bit. “...is Sammy still alive…?” 

It struck Castiel that Dean didn't know about the time factors for Hell and Earth. He let out a sigh. 

“Dean, time on earth works differently than time in hell.” He explained. “It has only been four months since you've died.” 

Dean stared at Castiel in utter shock, confused as to how the angel could be telling the truth. 

“Th...that didn't answer my question.” He finally whispered. Castiel smiled gently and dipped his head. 

“Yes, he is very much alive.” He breathed, nodding. “Everyone you care about who were alive when you died are still there.”

Dean let out a breath of disbelief, grinning ear to ear as he rubbed at his eyes, which were tearing up. He suddenly wrapped his arms around Castiel, embracing him. The angel was surprised, but he slowly wrapped his arms around Dean and hugged him closer. The human let out gentle sobs, burying his face into Castiel's neck. 

They just...sat there for a while. Castiel comforted Dean, and wasn't surprised when the emotionally drained human fell asleep in his arms. 

A small part of Castiel thought about setting Dean down onto the blankets to sleep in solitude, but why? Dean was comfortable here in his arms, and Castiel was patient. Hed wait until the human was well rested. 

Another part of Castiel enjoyed holding Dean. He didn't know why, but he got a rush of energy, of joy when he held this human close. They seemed to fit together like puzzle pieces. 

He was with Dean for hours. 

 

After Dean had awkwardly woken up, he seemed to be curious about everything. 

Cas healed the gentle seams on his wound so they were tougher, so Dean was now up and around, asking questions rapidly. 

“So, this is heaven? Why does it look like a shitty motel room?” 

“It's  _ your  _ heaven, this is a beloved memory of yours that you hold closely.” 

“My heaven? There's more than one?” 

“Yes. Heaven is a lot of different rooms, one for each soul.” 

“So this is my room? Can it change?” 

“Yes, it can.” 

“Well, er- angel...can you show me how?” 

Castiel grinned slightly, shaking his head a bit. 

“My name is Castiel, Dean.” He replied. Dean laughed nervously. 

“I'll just call you Cas…” he replied, smiling a small bit. “Anyways, Cas, can you show me how to change my room?” 

Castiel nodded, walking over to the human and putting his hand on his shoulder. 

“You must find something that works as a bridge from this memory, to the next.” He replied. Dean nodded slowly and absentmindedly felt at his chest, until he found his amulet. He gripped it, studying it. 

Suddenly, the room changed. It was dark, and there was a warm breeze in the air. The sun had just drowned over his horizon, and Dean was sitting on a porch. He gasped gently and gazed around in shock, until there were tiny footsteps. 

A small human with long, messy hair came running out the door of the motel room, looking at Dean curiously. 

“What is it?” He squeaked out. Dean's eyes widened, and he looked at Cas. 

“I remember this…” he breathed. Castiel felt a rather vibrant sense of joy when Dean was shown in such shock, yet such joy. The human smiled gently and scooted off of the porch, being followed by the smaller human. He sat onto the grass next to a cup that was upside down. 

“Sammy- hey! Sammy, do you know what a firefly is?” He asked in a voice that was far too excited. Sam shook his head and sat down onto the cold grass, eying the cup curiously. Dean smiled widely and lifted it, and a flickering yellow light flew into the air, and Sam's eyes widened in shock and excitement. 

“It's glowing-!” He squealed. Dean laughed and nodded. 

“That's a firefly, Sam!” He replied. Sam laughed in utter amazement and slowly reached towards it, and then cupped it in his hands. He put it back under the cup and looked at Dean. 

“I'm gonna go get a jar!” He chirped, standing up and running back up the porch and inside. Dean grinned like crazy as he looked to Cas.  

 

Dean Winchester had glazed over eyes and a mental wound that would never be fixed, but his utter passion, and his utter joy was still there, still so vivid and alive. The righteous man was beautiful. 

Castiel has heard stories of this man. He heard he would stop the apocalypse. He heard he killed a prince of Hell. He heard he's saved hundreds of people. 

But Castiel had never heard that Dean was also such a funny human. He never heard how Dean loved pie with such an intense passion and stuttered in excitement when he was offered it. He never heard how Dean had a love for puns, the type that'd make his brothers eyes roll. He never heard how Dean wouldn't hesitate to die for his little brother, over and over again. He never heard how Dean was unbelievably loyal towards a father that was often absent. He never heard that Dean loved classic rock and knows all the lyrics to every Led Zeppelin song there is. He never heard that he loved to loudly sing along to them, no matter how bad he was. He never heard how he had soft hair that felt like bunnies fur. He never heard that he wore an amulet that his brother gave him when they were kids. He never heard that Dean had freckles splattered across his face like stars in a galaxy night sky.  He never heard that Dean Winchester had brilliant, bright eyes that could warm anyone up. 

 

Falling in love with Dean Winchester was so, so easy. 

 

“No  _ no NO!”  _

Castiel glanced over to see Dean asleep, struggling in his sleep, trembling and yelling as he kicked and panicked. The angel walked over and sat on the bed Dean was on- one back in the human Bobby Singer's house. Dean kicked slightly as he muttered ‘no’ ‘stop’ and ‘Sammy’ over and over again. 

Cas put a hand on Dean's shoulder, to which Dean responded to by waking up with a start. 

“Dean.” Castiel said gently. “Are you alright?” 

Dean sat up, panting and gripping his now healed chest, nodding. 

“Y-yeah. I'm good.” He responded. 

 

Dean had been in heaven for about four days and his wounds were now completely healed...all except one. 

 

Dean was in terrible mental condition, a wound Castiel could not fix. The human flinched at every sudden movement. He snapped out of anger and then apologized rapidly. He even had minor hallucinations, Hell bleeding into reality. 

He was paranoid and damaged, and Cas did his best to help. 

 

“Dean, it's alright.” Cas breathed, scooting closer to the human. “What can I do to help?” 

“I-I don't want to be alone.” Dean replied quickly. “I want to be able to feel some piece of...reality, or whatever or something to...to make sure I have something-some _ one _ to hang onto.” 

Castiel tilted his head, and then scooted closer. 

“I can assist in that.” He replied. Deans face went bright red, and he chuckled lightly. 

“God...dad would  _ kill me.”  _ He muttered, shaking his head. 

“Your father cannot harm you.” Cas replied in concern, scrunching his vessels face up in confusion. “He is deceased.” 

“Okay, but,” Dean sighed and smiled bitterly. “Doesn't it say ‘no man shall lie with man’ in the Bible or something?” 

“Heaven and god are utterly indifferent on sexual orientation.” Cas replied. “The repulsion of anyone other than heterosexual is something you humans created.” 

“Huh.” Dean replied slowly, the smile dropping from his face. “Interesting.” 

“You should get back to rest.” Castiel stated. Dean looked at the angel. 

“You'll stay with me…?” He asked in a small, unconfident voice. Cas nodded. 

“Of course.” He replied. 

  
  
  


“Castiel,” 

About seven hours had passed since Dean had fallen asleep again, Cas holding the human close to his chest as they laid together. He slowly and carefully released his grip when he heard the voice of a fellow angel, and gently got off the bed to investigate. 

Uriel stood there, eyebrows raised. 

“Were you just lying with one of those mud monkeys?” He asked. Castiel felt his vessels face go red, and he nodded. 

“He needed comfort.” He replied. 

“What for?” Uriel scoffed. “He's the righteous man!” 

“Yes, but he just spent what felt like forty years in hell.” Castiel replied, frowning at his brother. “He's damaged.” 

“You should've healed him by now.” Uriel growled. “What's taking so long?” 

“He's damaged in more ways than one.” Cas responded. “He cannot handle earth just yet. He needs to be healed mentally, and that takes time and effort.” 

“You always  _ were  _ too soft on humans.” Uriel scoffed. “What is wrong with you, Castiel? You can't seriously care  _ this much  _ for a simple  _ human.”  _

“Our job from the beginning was to protect and nurture humans.” Cas responded in an upset tone. “I plan to follow that.” 

“Cas…?” 

Dean, with his cute sleep-walk and his messy hair walked into the room, leaning against the doorframe and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He looked at the angel, and then his eyes darted to Uriel, and he instantly stood up straighter. “Who's that?” 

“Dean, this is Uriel.” Castiel responded, gesturing towards his brother. “He's another angel, who should be leaving.” 

Uriel looked at Cas, mouth agape in surprise and offense, however he didn't reply. The angel vanished, and Dean walked over to Cas. 

“What was he doing here?” He asked in a still sleepy voice. 

“Checking in on me.” Castiel replied. “He is concerned because this is taking quite a while.” 

“It's been like...four days.” Dean replied, shrugging. “That's not long.” 

“They just don't want me to get attached.” Cas responded, stepping towards Dean. 

“Wow, they sound like dicks.” The human stated, smirking a bit. 

“Yes, but…” Cas sighed. “They are my brothers. I must respect them.” 

“I get that.” Dean shook his head, sighing. He walked through the house and searched for a second, before he turned a door knob and entered a Best Western breakfast room. He smiled in a smug manner and walked in with Cas, opening the muffin case and grabbing a double-chocolate chip muffin. He bit into in and looked at Cas. “This is back when dad bought a decent room at a hotel once. They had free breakfast, and it was amazing.” 

“I see.” Cas nodded. Dean grabbed another muffin, blueberry, and handed it to Cas. 

“Try it, its fucking delicious.” 

“Angels don't need to eat.” Castiel responded. 

“That's bullshit.” Dean scoffed, insisting Cas take the muffin. “Just try it.” 

Castiel grabbed it hesitantly and slowly bit into it, scrunching up his face a bit at how overwhelming the molecules tasted. However, he nodded and chewed. 

“It's. Uh. Good.” He responded after swallowing. Dean laughed and shook his head. 

“You don't gotta lie.” He stated. 

“It's overwhelming.” Cas agreed. “I taste every molecule.” 

“Wow, angels are intense.” Dean chuckled, shaking his head. “I feel bad for you, food is amazing.” 

“I'm sure it is to you humans.” Castiel smiled. “I remember back when you first only ate raw meat and fruits.” 

“How old  _ are  _ you?” Dean scoffed in disbelief. Castiel shrugged. 

“Older than mankind.” He replied calmly. Dean choked slightly on the muffin he was eating. 

“Holy shit-!” He coughed. “You're old as shit!” 

“I  _ am  _ a celestial being.” Castiel smiled lightly at the humans extreme reaction. Dean laughed and looked at the muffin Castiel was still holding. 

“That kinda looks like you, yknow.” He stated. “Tan like your trench coat, but blue like your eyes.” 

Deans face suddenly went bright red, and he looked down. “ _ That sounded fucking stupid.”  _

“Not really.” Castiel replie. “It was rather poetic, actually.” 

“Exactly my point.” Dean laughed bitterly. He began to walk into the lobby of the Best Western, and then stood in utter silence when he saw the window. 

Lightning flashed, and Dean suddenly collapsed. 

“Dean!” Castiel yelped, rushing to help the human. Dean laid on the ground, trembling as he stared outside. 

Everything was silent as Cas kneeled next to Dean, until suddenly, the human flinched like he was being attacked. 

As if someone had switched a light switch, Dean suddenly seemed normal again, if not shaken up. 

“S-sorry.” He breathed. 

“Dean,” Castiel began. “What happened?” 

“I-I...” Dean stammered. “...I've been seeing hallucinations since I...got out.” 

“And you've failed to mention this to me?” Castiel almost growled. Dean nodded.

“I'm not weak, I can handle some damn reality shifts.” He scoffed. 

“Dean...you're not weak period.” Cas replied. “You don't need to bury what you're feeling, or what you see. Admitting you need help is true strength.” 

Dean stared at Castiel in a silent shock, and then nodded. 

“Okay.” He rasped. 

  
  
  
  


Days passed, and Castiel realized with horror and excitement that he was deeply falling for Dean Winchester. It was scary, because he wasn't allowed to, but a huge chunk of him  _ wanted  _ to. He wanted to feel Dean's presence constantly. He wanted to fight with him, to fall with him, to grow with him. 

And he knew Dean felt it too. 

Dean felt the same hesitation, the same fear, but the same excitement. He was afraid of being judged for being anything but straight, and he was afraid of being hurt by something that wasn't human. He was afraid of being hurt in general. But with Cas, he felt safe. For the first time in forty years. Dean Winchester felt safe. 

  
  
  


“This was my favorite place to visit back when I was at the boys home.” Dean chirped, taking Cas into the forest near a nice house with many teenagers. “It's calming, actually. Really pretty, yknow? Of course, I never admitted it, but I thought it was beautiful.” 

Dean wasn't wrong; it was astounding. The trees were shaped in beautiful ways and moonlight shone on the fall leaves on the ground. Castiel gazed around in wonder. 

“It's very gorgeous.” He commented, nodding at Dean. Dean smiled, and then grabbed Cas by the hand. 

They stood there for a while, Dean unsure of himself. After hesitation ebbed away as he gazed into Castiel's blue eyes, which the stars reflected in stupidly well, he smiled and began to run with him. 

“Cmon!” He called as he let go of the angels hand, and charged for a large tree. Dean grinned like a child as he climbed onto it, and climbed higher and higher. 

“Dean, that is dangerous.” Castiel called. 

“It's fine!” Dean shouted in return. 

**_SNAP!_ **

Cas was ready when the branch under Dean gave way. The human was falling, and Cas spread his wings, and flew into the air- catching the human in his arms and wrapping them around closely so he was to his chest. 

They stayed in the air, Cas flapping his wings steadily. Dean stared up at Cas with shock. 

 

Before he knew it, the two of them had kissed. Dean pushed his face up to the angel, and Castiel attempted to not fall out of the air. He floated down gently, still embracing Dean, and then landed on the ground with him. 

Deans face was bright red, both regret and excitement flashing through his face. They were silent for what felt like forever, but then Dean smirked. 

“So angels really  _ do  _ have wings.” 

  
  
  


Cas was never sure whether Dean was just clinging to the first thing to show him kindness after a lifetime, or if he wasn't as afraid because he wasn't around his brother, but Dean wasn't so repressed about his love. 

Maybe it was just the circumstances the two of them were forced to face throughout the years. 

  
  
  


Dean had fallen asleep in his arms, and Cas kept his wing folded over the man much like a blanket. 

There was a rustling noise, the familiar sound of wings fluttering down in the room. He lifted his gaze and, in the dim lighting, he saw Michael. 

Anxiety rushed over him, and Cas carefully removed himself from the human in attempts to let him still sleep. He walked out of the room with Michael and then looked at him, anxious to hear what he has to say. 

“Castiel.” He began. “You have yet to inform me of Dean's complete recovery.”

“He still needs time.” Castiel growled. Michael lifted his chin and strengthened his gaze. 

“It has been  _ two months, _ Castiel.” He growled. “You are growing attached to the righteous man.” 

Castiel felt his vessels face grow red, and he didn't respond. 

“Uriel already warned me of this.” Michael continued. “Castiel, you've ought to learn your lesson on this by now. Humans are insignificant.” 

“You told me he was special!” Cas suddenly spat. “You told me to take good care of him!” 

“For  _ normal  _ angels, that means healing his wounds and being done.” Michael snarled. Castiel flinched, and Michael hardened his gaze. “Dean Winchester's memory of these past two months  _ will  _ be put behind a wall that you will be forbidden from breaking.” 

“Michael, please!” Castiel cried. “You can't!” 

“I can.” Michael growled. “And I will. You will treat Dean Winchester as a normal human from now on. Return him to earth immediately.” 

Cas watched as Michael flew off, and his eyes stung in pain and his heart burned. He didn't know how painful feelings could be. 

He wiped multiple books off the nearest table, and rubbed at his eyes. 

 

“Dean.” Castiel rasped, carefully prodding the human awake. Dean looked up at Cas, giving a sleepy smile. 

“What's up, Cas?” He asked in a tired voice, sitting up and running his fingers through his messy hair. Castiel took a deep breath. 

“It's time to go to earth” he finally stated in a brittle voice. This wasn't fair. Everything in his being screamed how unfair this was. 

“Oh, shit.” Dean seemed to look terrified, however it slowly faded. “You'll be there with me, right?” 

“Of course.” Castiel answered. Dean smiled and looked at the angel. 

“I'm gonna remember all this too, right?” 

A lump of guilt swelled in Castiel's throat as he stared at Dean, regret and grief coming in waves through his body. 

“Of course.” He repeated hoarsely. Dean tilted his head and raised his eyebrows. 

“What's wrong?” He asked. Castiel plastered on a smile and shrugged. 

“Nothing, Dean.” He replied. He rested a hand onto the righteous man's shoulder, and Dean grinned. 

“I'm gonna see Sammy again.” He said, like an excited child. Castiel grinned at the humans rare optimism, despite his endless sorrow. 

 

Leaving him on earth was probably one of the hardest things he had to do. 

  
  
  
  


The last thing Dean remembered was a huge light with giant wings flying towards him, and a white hot pain on his shoulder. 

 

The second Dean met Castiel, a feeling of familiarity throbbed in the back of his mind. He ignored it, however, plunging the knife into the new creature and being in utter disbelief when it had no effect. 

Talking to the supposed angel was really weird. He felt a pang in his skull, like he  _ knew  _ who this was. He felt admiration, too, and trust. 

All he could do was stare into those blue eyes and figure out why he felt this way. He tried to figure out why Castiel looked heartbroken when he figured out Dean didn't believe he deserved to be saved, as if he had spent years on something and then watched it all turn to dust. He felt a rush of fear about the fact that Castiel was so sure that Dean lacked faith, and worded it as if they were good friends and it was a common argument topic. 

 

Why did he feel such a close bond to this angel? 

 

Dean spent years upon years trying to figure it out, still hoping that if he just stared into those eyes long enough, it would just click. 

 

But it never did. 

  
  
  


Until now. 

  
  
  


The two angels and the human in the room perked up when Dean let out a faint groan, rubbing at his face and sitting upwards. He gazed around, and relief flooded the three others as the black from his eyes faded away like dirt being washed away in the rain. He panted a bit, attempting to catch his breath and grip back into reality. He saw his brother, Gabriel, and Castiel. He smiled. 

“Heyheyhey- Dean! Dean, how do you feel?” Sam asked in a worried, yet overjoyed voice. Dean drew in another breath and shrugged. 

“I...uh…” he rasped. “Well, I...I don't wanna kill you. That's something.” 

Sam seemed to release a breath he didn't know he was holding. 

“Good! That's good! That's really...you hungry? Need anything?” He seemed eager to have Dean recover quickly. Dean stared at his little brother, and smiled nervously. 

“I...I dunno. I'm a bit hungry, I guess.” He replied, obviously still out of it. Sam nodded and headed out the room. 

“Got it, I'll- uh- I'll go get you some food or whatever. The shittiest and greasiest we got.” He replied, walking out as Gabriel followed. Dean laughed hollowly in return, and watched them leave. 

He then turned to look at Cas, now sitting up in his bed and running his fingers through his blood clotted, flowery hair. Castiel stared at him with fear, as if he expected to get yelled at or even attacked. 

Dean gently grabbed the angel's hand, staring into the wide, blue eyes that had matured  _ so much  _ since they had met. 

“You'll stay with me…?” The righteous man asked in a creaky voice. Castiel stared at Dean with gaze that could bring hope into the most negative souls. 

“Of course.” He answered hoarsely, yet eagerly, a smile growing onto his face. Dean smiled, he really couldn't help it. Strong, overwhelming feelings for this angel flooded him, and he cupped Castiel's face with his hands. 

 

Dean Winchester then embraced the angel, and pressed his lips to Castiel’s once again for the first time in forever. 


End file.
